The other day I was sitting in meditation with a terrible case of
, the kind of restlessness that feels like agitated energy all through the body. It was interesting to observe what was going on. One part of me was obsessively checking the clock: could I get up yet? How about now? Another part was noticing how strong the desire to get up was and also the fact that I had a decision to make: to return to my intention of sitting or to give in the restlessness.
We often teach about the importance of "holding the pose," of staying present despite the fact that things are getting uncomfortable. It could be remaining in warrior pose as the legs start to tremble; it could be getting up to pray despite the desire to hit the snooze button; it could be continuing to speak up for a cause you believe in even if the pendulum seems to be swinging more and more decisively in a different direction. The Torah speaks of offering a
sacrifice, a continual sacrifice, every day, morning and evening (Exodus 29). There is something important in
hatmadah, engaging in a regular, disciplined practice regardless of whether we feel like it or not at any particular time.