Be Well At
Wellspring Farm
Holiday Edition Newsletter
A Note From Tiffany
"I think so often, what people misunderstand about boundaries is that the point of setting them is not to change other people's behavior or convince them to value different things- it is to advocate for yourself regardless of how they respond."
Daniell Koepke
Boundaries are like fences for behavior. ALL relationships need boundaries, and that includes relationships between horses and humans. The obvious benefit of boundaries for horses, first and foremost, is to keep humans safe. The less obvious benefit, is that boundaries make horses feel safe.
Like fences, healthy boundaries define what is acceptable for a horse (or a person).
They allow both parties to understand expectations.
When boundaries are set, they provide choices, options for change, and new perspectives on things we always felt the need to "give in to" or are "just stuck with".
Let me give a real-life example, you are leading a horse that sees a trash truck coming towards them. You feel the horse getting tense, the horse lifts their head and starts making snorting noises like a fire-breathing dragon.
They are ready to lose it-give them a choice!
Set a boundary.
Stop your horse and back them up a couple of steps, then offer them the back of your hand to sniff and a kind word. Let the horse know that they have a choice. They can flip out and live in fear of the loud, smelly, unusually shaped monster driving by, OR they can reset and reconnect with their handler and learn that they have an option through boundaries to live a more peaceful life.
Another example in our human life is, receiving a text from an old friend. They are coming to town with their husband and two kids. She is wondering if they could stay at your house for a couple of days. As we read, we get tense, and a sense of dread and feeling overwhelmed is setting in. You don't want to let an old friend down, but you also don't have time to get the house ready for their stay.
What do you do?!
STOP, RESET, and RECONNECT with yourself.
You now see you have options to respond to your friend in a kind AND firm way to decline their stay without feeling guilty you set a boundary for your well-being.
We ALL have choices to set healthy boundaries and live our lives with our horses and each other peacefully.
The holiday season is a perfect time to remind all of you that setting boundaries with people and horses is okay!
Boundaries advocate for your peace and happiness in life and your safety and happiness with horses!
Be Well, Happy Holidays and please practice setting boundaries!
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