* Part 6 in Our Series *

Read previous parts in our series: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

It may be difficult at times to see beyond the growing number of challenges related to the ongoing pandemic and the myriad experts sharing concerns about an increase in mental health challenges. In fact, the Surgeon General recently raised the alarm regarding our children’s mental health, issuing an advisory and calling for greater awareness, support, and action. 

“… the challenges today’s generation of young people face are unprecedented and uniquely hard to navigate. And the effect these challenges have had on their mental health is devastating. Mental health challenges in children, adolescents, and young adults are real, and they are widespread. But most importantly, they are treatable, and often preventable.” Read the full report here.

If you recognize your own family in the words, “unprecedented, uniquely hard, and devastating,” you are in good company. Many people are feeling depleted and overwhelmed, noticing that emotions are more intense. People are having more difficulty responding thoughtfully rather than reacting passionately.

Because this particular holiday season is anything but "normal," when possible, look for those opportunities to take in the messages about feeling the magic, mysteries, and miracles of this season. They

can resonate and remind us of the possibilities and our hopes. Read further for some strategies to support you and your ability to enhance and celebrate those moments.  

When we experience anxiety, frustration or intense emotion, we often feel that there’s something wrong with us, that there’s a way to feel competent and composed all the time and we just haven’t yet found it. We might also assume others are coping easily with everything, and they are not experiencing the same concerns.  

Not true! 

Struggle and challenge are part of life - emotions are expected - and no one is perfect. As the Surgeon General’s Advisory and the increase in people seeking mental health treatment indicate, we are struggling right now. When we experience anxiety, frustration or intense emotion, we might try responding to ourselves with agreement. The thought or statement, “I’m so worried,” might be met with “No kidding! There’s a pandemic happening, kids are struggling, I don’t know if it’s safe to go to my sister’s house. You’re right, this is hard.”  

When our kids are struggling, we can use that same strategy to move towards them with compassion and agreement. “You’re right, it is confusing to have the safety precautions changing again. It is frustrating…and also necessary.” We can let them know that they aren’t alone, that many kids are struggling to make sense of things and their feelings as well. We can remind them that we are all doing the best we can, that we see the good in them, and they are loved.

Remembering we are connected to concentric circles of community is a protective factor for our mental health. We are designed to live in groups and we function best when everyone contributes. Helping kids find ways to contribute to their concentric circles (family, neighborhood, school, community) can make a wonderful difference in their mental health. Contributing to the welfare of others increases empathy, our sense of belonging, and our feelings of competence.

Spirituality and faith are an important part of the holiday season for many people, and our interpretations of those words can be deeply personal and unique. Spirituality is sometimes described as seeing ourselves and others as having inherent worth, as being loved, held, guided and never alone, as having a relationship with all of life, as belonging to something greater than ourselves. Research has shown that developing our spirituality is a protective factor for our mental health, reducing suicidal ideation, addiction, and depression. Many families celebrate with practices from more than one faith tradition. Inviting family members to share what they love about the practices, what they mean to each person, and how they help express ethics and values can be helpful to our own spiritual development. Seeing a candle lit, hearing a certain song, or tasting a favorite dish can elicit positive memories and emotions and remind us of important connections. There are often touching, funny, and sweet stories about what the customs and traditions mean to people.

In the midst of stress and struggle, any good is good. Noticing and expressing gratitude for good moments, for fun, hugs, laughter, and nourishment turns ordinary moments into something special. When something good happens, we can really take a moment to notice and feel the goodness. This can be especially helpful for kids, we can enhance and expand the goodness by asking questions or helping them to talk about gratitude and appreciation. 

Examples include:

Whatever brings joy, whatever helps you to be you, whatever helps you remember that deep connection to life…as much as possible, do that this season. There are many things that help fill our buckets—humor, love, hugs, favorite foods, relaxing, helping others, reading, reflecting, dancing, singing—it’s a “one size fits you” plan. 

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FSC's Annual Appeal is underway. Nearly 50% of the work at FSC is funded by donations. To better demonstrate that very real support to those who come to FSC’s new offices, we are creating a Hallway of Hope. Your donation can add an engraved butterfly to let those walking FSC’s halls know that they are not alone. Learn more on our website.