April, 2020
House of Ruth Happenings!
Navigating Treacherous Waters

On Thursday March 19, 2020 California Governor Gavin Newsom ordered Californians to follow the Safe at Home order to reduce COVID 19 transmission in the state. The order requires that non-essential personnel stay at home and avoid contact with the public.  As a result of this order, domestic violence cases have surged worldwide leaving victims feeling isolated and in danger. 

According to the New York times, “French police reported a nationwide spike of about 30 percent in domestic violence cases.” Spain and China have also seen an increase in domestic violence. In the U.S. according to Time Magazine, "the national Domestic Violence Hotline reports that a growing number of callers say that their abusers are using COVID 19 as a means of further isolating them from their friends and family".

Karla reached out to House of Ruth in crisis because her abusive partner took their children out of the state, without permission. Her partner tried to justify the abduction by telling police he was only trying to protect them from COVID 19. Our staff provided her with support and informed her about her parental rights. She was prompted to file a police report and court paperwork to begin the reunification process. Karla was able to have phone contact with her children and is anxiously awaiting to hug them again. Karla was grateful to all the House of Ruth staff and law enforcement for being available to help her despite the pandemic.

Stories like Karla’s will continue to surface because this pandemic is giving more power to abusers to cause harm. Many families are navigating through treacherous waters and are in danger in their own home. Please consider donating to House of Ruth so we can continue providing essential services to individuals like Karla.
House of Ruth Facebook
Benefit Concert

Please support House of Ruth by tuning in on Thursday April 16th, 2020 from 6:00 P.M. - 7:00 P.M. via Facebook for an enchanting musical evening.

Thursday’s online benefit concert will be performed by Michael Ryan and Ken Soderlund and is dedicated to raising funds for survivors of domestic violence.
During the concert you will be able to click on the icon and donate to House of Ruth to help serve those who are particularly vulnerable during the lockdown.

A special thanks to Michael Ryan and Ken Soderlund for organizing this fundraiser, we appreciate you!

Please click on the link below to join the concert:

Lifesaving Quarantine Tips

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence and are under the Safe at Home orders here are a few safety tips to consider:

  • Do you have other family & friends you can stay with during the pandemic?

  • Establish a code word with family & friends that alerts them if you’re in danger.

  • Have access to a phone, computer, tablet or other device that allows you to communicate with someone safely. 

  • If an incident of violence occurs, call the police and request an emergency protective order.

  • Request a Temporary Restraining order online.

  •  If a physical incident occurs stay out of the kitchen and bathroom and go to an open space where you an exit the home.  

  • If you are being assaulted, try to protect your head and neck. If its safe document incidents of abuse by date and take pictures of any injuries.

  • Establish a personalized safety plan with a domestic violence advocate by calling House of Ruth’s 24-hour hotline at (877) 988-5559.  

  • Explore the possibility of entering a domestic violence shelter program.  

Please share these tips with family and friends or through your social media to bring more awareness and support to those experiencing abuse in their homes.
Let's talk about Gaslighting!

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse when the person that harms causes their partner to question their perception of reality, feelings and instincts.

This term originates from the 1938 stage play, Gas Light, where a husband inflicts emotional abuse on his wife by making her believe she is loosing her mind.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, here are some warning signs of gaslighting:

Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. Ex. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse me.”

Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. Ex. “You’re wrong, you never remember things correctly.”

Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or questions the victim’s thoughts. Ex. “Is that another crazy idea you got from [friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”

Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”

Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuff up.”

Gaslighting usually begins slowly and the victim is unaware the person that harms is using this tactic to gain power and control over them.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please call
House of Ruth's 24-hour Hotline at (877) 988-5559 and speak to our Advocates who are ready to help.

Community Partner Spotlight!

House of Ruth and survivors of domestic violence are grateful to the many foundations and donors who've donated during this pandemic. Your gifts have allowed us to continue to provide emergency services to the community.

We value your partnership and thank you for your generosity and hope to continue working with you through out the years.