The holidays can be difficult when we're missing someone we love. The spirits offer their presence not only during the season, but throughout the year. Here are some suggestions for feeling the loving support of the spirits and encouraging connection with them.
Decorate. Many of us already have areas in our homes dedicated to those we love in spirit; a mantle with family photos, a night table with a beloved picture, a room with stuffed animals on the bed where a young person used to sleep. Adding decorative flourishes during the holidays, especially the kind the spirits enjoyed while on earth, doesn't go unnoticed by them. Be aware of unusual activity around decorations. A young man in spirit shared with me that he was with his Dad while he was putting up the Christmas lights. “The lights were flickering,” - his father confirmed – “especially his favorite icicle lights.”
Eat. This time of year it is common to bake cookies from family recipes or re-create Grandma’s famous sauce. If you cook it, bake it or make it, they will come! In return, those in spirit may give you the smells of their favorite recipes when there is nothing in the oven. A woman who came to see me thought she was going crazy because she kept smelling barbecued ribs. Since her husband's death, she hadn't even fired up the grill. She was surprised and delighted when her husband brought up in our session that he was making his secret recipe for barbecued ribs.
Sing. Almost without exception, loved ones in spirit mention music during sessions and at events. So keep the tunes on or go to a holiday sing-a-long. One mother got a shock (and thrill) when she got in her car to come see me and turned on the radio. She expected to hear classical music, but instead, rap came blaring out! Before her son died, she and he would argue about what station to listen to while driving. She was happy to let him win the argument that time.
Dance. The spirits also like to dance! After a session during which a father in spirit mentioned that he was dancing with his daughter, her mother shared photographic proof. At the first Christmas after losing her Daddy, his daughter, who was four years old, danced in front of the tree. Swirling around her in the photograph was a mist which seemed to be dancing, too. As she spun in circles, the little girl kept saying, “Daddy.”
Remember. Spirits love to remember the good times, and they want you to do the same. A father in spirit reminded his daughter of the many nature walks they took together before he fell ill and passed. He promised to join her each day as she and her dog walk around the local reservoir. While enjoying time with family and friends, talk and laugh about “the good old days.” Those in spirit may join in the conversation in surprising ways; during one such gathering, friends and I witnessed a candle burning to a nub in less than 1 minute after sharing a funny story about a mutual friend in spirit.
Indulge. Probably not in the way you think! Rather than overeating, drinking to excess and jamming 25 parties into the 12 days of Christmas, consider indulging in peace, love and joy. The simple way to do this is to choose to "unplug" for several minutes a day during the season - - or retreat for an entire day if possible. Allow yourself to sleep in. (Without sleep interruptions, the spirits have a greater opportunity to visit in dreams.) Spend a few minutes a day sitting quietly. (The subtle messages of the spirits are more easily heard without noise and distractions.) Allow joy to come to you rather than trying to chase it down. (By expressing gratitude for what you already have and appreciating small pleasures, joy shows up effortlessly.) And finally, appreciate the people in your life right now and experience holidays in the present moment. Spirits live in the eternal present moment so that is the best place, actually the only place, to make contact.
