Wit and Wisdom 201 | January 2018
How To Be Kind To You!
Welcome to all my new subscribers and my 3700 loyal readers who have been with me for the past 15 years.
Warning - this newsletter takes 2 minutes to read but can seriously upgrade your life.


“Practice random acts of kindness” is the mantra mode of modern times. Buy a coffee for the guy behind you in the queue and “pass it on” sort of thing. Have you had yours yet? Like all quirky contemporary fads they can quickly dip into cliché such as “hug a hoodie” or “go to work on a egg” and become meaningless brain litter.

Being kind is something that never goes out of date but the whole idea of compassion and gentleness seems obsolete when it comes to applying it to ourselves. Sometimes our inner dialogue is so nagging and critical to be the sort of mental torture not usually found outside high security military detention or Simon Cowell's foreplay.

“Just look what your greed has done to your body”, “You're useless at everything”, “It's no wonder your phone is stuck on silent” or the most common complaint of all humanity “You're not good enough”. 
The excoriating harshness we show ourselves is the sort of thing that would have you phoning social services if you saw it happening elsewhere.  
Let's get a few things clear on what kindness really means to the self. It's not unbounded shopping, eating, drinking and gambling because “I deserve it”: that's borderline destructive and just short term fixes for big gaping emotional needs. Being kind is giving yourself a break.

Taking a moment to ask yourself “how do I feel about this?” and giving consideration to the things that are causing exhaustion, anxiety or emotional pain. Being kind to yourself is saying “no” even if it means you put your needs over someone else's expectations, it's being gentle as you try new things – a dance class, diet, exercise regime, hobby or managing your health issues and giving yourself time to adjust, ease in and eventually succeed at it. It's being patient with yourself.

It's remembering you are not the sum of your regrets, sadnesses, disappointments and let downs but the total of your triumphs, successes, brilliance and “having a go's”. Getting to know yourself means you can gently make the right decisions that serve you and the people you love around you well, it means having energy and joy not resentment and exhaustion and making choices which support and nurture.

Checking in with where you are feeling pain in the body and deciding not to put up with or live with it also helps.  Do some people make your throat tighten or stomach to lurch?  Think about those who make you feel diminished and unseen, who don't show interest in you or listen, then limit time with them or move away entirely from their company.
For your own sake forgive those who have hurt you – don't be a hod-carrier of bricks of past pain; lay it down and grant yourself freedom.  Being kind means not being taken for granted and listening to your needs and filling them in a nourishing non-toxic way. It's having a community of people who “get” you, it's not feeling used and not comparing yourself unfavourably to others.
I urge you to seek infinite kindness for yourself this year. To find gratitude and joy in the day to day and to forgive yourself your own perceived weaknesses and disappointments.  Make friends with you and learn to like what you see. In doing so you not only make your life better but you improve the world too and you will make way for a future of surprises, happiness and every day miracles. 
Why not being even kinder to yourself and book a 30 minute consultation click here.

Pure Coaching Academy 2018
Make this the year you became professionally and personally satisfied. If you have ever thought you possessed the skills to help others, enjoy motivating, inspiring and being of service to others then train to become a coach with me. You can find the passion, purpose and meaning you have been looking for in the infinitely expanding world of personal development.

Join us at Pure Coaching Academy 8 week course (one Saturday for 8 weeks) – accredited life training that gives you in class, highly experiential training with top coaches and power tools to change lives and set up an abundant practice.

Book before 14th January to take advantage of our Early Bird Price. Find out more about our payment options here.
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Spark Networking Events
Network in a new way.

You are invited to the launch of a hot new evening networking event. Join us at Spark on Tuesday 13 th February 7pm - 9pm and meet exciting new people. Career professionals, creatives, media folk, entrepreneurs or folk like you looking for a thrilling new social gathering that could elevate your life, career or business. 

Book now.

Fabulous Women, Marvellous Men
Ealing - 2 February 2018
How would you like to join a popular networking event that I hold monthly in Ealing? The cost of the meeting is just £10 for both members and non-members. All visitors are welcome!

There will be the usual one minute pitch where you get to tell us what you do and what you’re looking for, a coaching session for all and the chance to meet with some truly amazing and exciting business folk.

So I can give the venue an idea of numbers, please  CLICK HERE and press the YES, I'm attending button.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further information, or if you have any questions. You can email me at caroleann@realcoachingco.com.
Thought of the week
Take it easy - but take it.

Your coach
Carole Ann Rice - Life Coach, Author, Columnist
T: 020 8566 2862
About Carole Ann Rice

Carole Ann is an award winning journalist, media consultant and high profile coach, with over 10 years' coaching experience with private clients and major organisations such as the London School of Economics and Play England. She's co-written two books, Start Your Dream Business and Find Your Dream Job which are available from Amazon.

Read Carole Ann's weekly Happy Monday column in the Daily Express 
Carole Ann Rice | Real Coaching Co | 020 8566 2862 | Real Coaching Co