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Send this e-newsletter to everyone you know especially ALL WOMEN. Advice from an
#OldSchool Black Female #BabyBoomer.
Cathy Harris
Founder of
BlackMatchmakerClub.com, Author of 'Love After 50',
Love Coach, and Advice Columnist
My Dating Profile at BlackMatchmakerClub.com
High-energy 62 year old black female seeks mate ages 50 - 70 years of age for a meaningful relationship. I have two grown daughters. I enjoy traveling, reading and writing books, watching action movies, dancing, eating healthy, growing foods, doing cardio in the gym, along with hiking and long walks, especially on the beach. I am looking for a man with a good and decent heart, who is chivalrous, spontaneous and adventurous and can make me laugh. Let's embrace this thing called #Life together. #Waiting.
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How To Tell When Men Aren't Dateable - #HowWomenThink
Dec. 14, 2018
by Cathy Harris, Love Coach and Advice Columnist
It's so ironic that I am writing this article almost at the end of the year. I think many of us, including myself, have a lot to work on in 2019, especially in our relationships, whether we are single or married. #HappyHolidays!!!
A Baby Boomer's Old School Values
This article is written for #AllWomen,  especially
mature women
like myself who have found dating in the world today, especially on
#SocialMedia
to be a total new and #ConfusingConcept.
I am sure many men will find this article very interesting also. And hopefully, it will help them get some insight into #HowWomenThink.
As a Baby Boomer, 62, I came from a time  when it was common for men and women to meet at parties or at dances or couples would get #FixedUp
on a blind date by a mutual friend.
Meetings in bars happened from time to time, but were considered somewhat dangerous for women.
I know many of you who have found your  spouse, significant other, partner or mate, will read this article and make the remarks "Wow, I am glad I am not out there dating!"
 But remember, you still need to keep reading and take in the information and forward it to the people you love because you have daughters, sons and other relatives that you  would like to see make #GoodDatingDecisions. Remember, I am #OldSchool so my tips for women (and men) will have #OldSchoolValues.
A Book To Help You Save Your 'Libido'
If you enjoy what I am discussing in this article  then chances are you will love my book
I totally went out of my genre ( category of books) when I wrote this book. However, my main reason for writing the book was to help singles and couples
save their
libidos
(
aka "Sexual Drive"
).
As a Holistic and Natural Healer, National Non-GMO Health Educator for over 12 years, and a Former Federal Whistleblower (TheCathyHarrisStory.com), I felt I had to #SoundTheHorn on what's really happening to men and women today, especially in regards to their #SexualHealth.
The book will lay out #ActionPlans for
#Singles and #Couples in regards to their #SexualHealth and also will educate them on how to clean up their body and environment so that they can have an energetic, vibrant and #HappySexLife. 
We watched Oprah for over 25 years and we learned that many couples are living in
#SexlessMarriages
so I advise many men and women do not wait until you are 50 to read the book. You really should read the book in your 20s so you can
#SaveYourLibido
-- whether you are a man or women.
Sexual drives
define some folks. They live for it -- at least that's what many men say and live by. Imagine being on this earth
 until you reach your 80s  and 90s, and you lost your #SexualDrive in your 40s and 50s. It's happening every day because you are not putting your #HealthFirst.
Over 50%
(might be 60% by now)
of men by age 40 can no longer have sex because of issues with
Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
and other health issues. Also when new
#Technology
come on the scene, you need to  be careful.
Laptops
and
heated car seats have also played a major role in killing a man's libido and causing other health issues.
And don't think you can run out and take
#Viagra
and other
#MaleEnhancement
 drugs because they are causing heart attacks, hearing loss and blindness. So the goal is to #KeepYourLibido - alive and well.
Say Goodbye To 'Motherhood'
Pay attention and don't be naive! There is a reason that tons of
#FertilityClinics
(like
#KidneyDialysis
centers) have sprung up all over the country, trying to help
#DesperateWomen
conceive a child.
Laugh if you want but "Yes, GMOs (aka "Processed Foods") are the culprit. Pesticides and herbicides (heavy metals/neurotoxin)
(#Poison) that turns off the brain and nervous system is placed in the seeds made in a lab by #BiotechScientists that grow this toxic processed food.
Today there are several #Biotech Whistleblowers
that have come forward to say, "There wasn't any
#SafetyTests
conducted on GMO foods, which came on the scene in the late 80s.
Now they are finding out that GMO foods don't have any
#NutritionalValue
, and is now poisoning not just plants and animals, but humans also.
And don't forget that #GMOsAreAirBorne, which means you breathe them in when you step outside of your home -- along with #Chemtrails (Air Force Whistleblower).
All these #HeavyMetals in your food and the environment don't just turn off the brain, but it can turn you into a #Zombie (or cocoon-like INACTIVE state) and "knock the fight right out of you." And this is why most folks don't speak up on issues today.
Also what you need to understand is that
#HeavyMetals found in GMOs and in the environment causes #ImpotencyInMen and #SterilityInWomen.
So this will be the #EndOfTheLine (for #BloodRelatives) for many women who thought they would be mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, etc.
You may still be able to #AdoptAChild, if  their mothers are eating good food and have cleaned up their environments, however,
surrogacy might not be a #FutureOption and who knows how safe it is  to have #IVFTreatments to get pregnant.
We need to #WakeUp and #TakeActionNow by educating ourselves about this #ChangingWorld. It is absolutely too many people in the world so they (aka "The Government) are trying to stop people from #Procreating (producing offsprings or having babies) and it is working.
As a
"Love Coach"
and
"Advice  Columnist"
at DearCathy.com, I thought by now that I would have done more to market my FREE
#DatingGroup
for
Singles
at
BlackMatchmakerClub.com 
on facebook, but since I just relocated to a new city, Orlando, FL, I needed to focus on fun and business opportunities in my new city.
That group isn't going anywhere and so far there are some #QualitySingles on the group (including myself) so forward a #Picture and #YourProfile (sample above) to me at AskCathy@DearCathy.com or facebook message me to be posted in the group for FREE.
GMO food today has made everyone basically #Lazy. Many people want to find #TrueLove, however, many, both men and women, don't want to do the work to find it.
Then once they find the true loves of their lives, they won't put in the work to keep it going. This is very problematic
today in many cultures -- especially black communities.
Therefore, in our Empowerment Platform as a "Love Coach" and "Advice Columnist" at
CathyHarrisInternational.com, we will be offering a series of workshops, seminars, webinars (virtually) on how to find Mr. and Mrs. Right and how to keep your relationships #GoingStrong.
Can You Find True Love on Social Media Sites (Facebook.com, Instagram.com, etc.)?
 Some people have stated that there is no way they can be on facebook (or instagram) because of folks hiding in the shadows -- making all types of negative, derogatory, bullying remarks about them.
No one should be on facebook.com, instagram.com (where all the Millennials are) and other social media websites unless they have #ThickSkin.
It's been even hard for me  at 
times being on social media, but as a
#BusinessWoman,
I use the platform to #MarketMyBusiness, my Empowerment and  Publishing Company, AngelsPress.com, where I have released 26 non-fiction books and especially my new dating website
However, I have gotten all types #SpeakingGigs and have formed many #BusinessAlliances and #StrategicPartnerships so I value being on social media.
My New Community On Facebook.com
Because I don't own a TV, some nights I lay in bed and look at the #BeautifulPictures and #Videos from around the world or just laugh at #FunnyPictures and #FunnyVideos.
But most of all I am able to pick up some
#GreatNews
and educate folks in my
#EmpowermentPlatform
at
Think about it -
#SocialMedia has leveled the #PlayingField for many folks and even though we now have the arsenal to fight back, #WeDont because the government -- as they were building all these
#SocialMediaPlatforms,
they were also busy rendering folks
#Dysfunctional
by turning off their brains with GMOs, Chemtrails, etc.
Facebook Blocking vs. Cathy Harris Blocking
 I am not writing this article to find any #PotentialSuitors
because I don't need any help in that department. However, I am using what has happened to me to educate women on some of the many #GamesThatMenPlay
and what to look out for when they are approached by the
#OppositeSex
, especially on  the internet (facebook, instagram, etc.).
Facebook is not the only group out there #BlockingFolks. There is #FacebookBlocking and #CathyHarrisBlocking.
I went on my
#BlockedCommunity
the other day on  facebook and was almost shocked at how large it was.
I do end up blocking a lot of men, especially when I am already in a relationship and I just don't want to be bothered or disrespected by them.
I bet a lot of you were wondering why I have a #DatingService at BlackMatchmakerClub.com and I am #Single. I am only 2 months out of a 3 year relationship. So I am currently #SingleByChoice. There is a difference.
I have #SeveralSuitors that I was interested in -- in my #BlockedCommunity, but with my #OldSchoolValueSystem -- they came off #Too Aggressive (#TooSexual, #TooQuick) so I had to block them. So again, men (and women) need to keep their conversations especially online professional.
One or two might eventually be let out on parole. Others I have had to
block them for the
second time because of their
disrespect.
I don't cheat in a  relationship and I expect my man not to cheat either. I believe #IAmEnough. If he can keep up with all my desires, needs and wants, he should not have time to look at another women. That's  how I bring it in a relationship.
When I am in a relationship, #ILoveHard.  When I say "I Love Hard." It means I give everything and most of all, at 62,
#IDontPlayGames
. 
Besides men that have reached out to me for a date, other
#BlockIndividuals are  people that don't have the #SameValueSystem as I do and I did not spend 62 years on this earth in a fog.
I know exactly what we as individuals on this planet need to be doing, so again,
#LifeIsShort
and
#IDontPlayGames
.
Many of these individuals include those in favor of starting Non-profits, Network and Multi-Level Marketing ventures, people who were disrespectful to me and others, and those that are #BuckWild on the internet. These are the individuals that every other post is about #Sex.
 I have 9 groups on facebook and 4 facebook pages or timelines. If you join any of my groups in my community, which I have entitled "Pass The Torch Community," with a different #ValueSystem, you will #GetBlocked because "You can't bullshit a bullshiter." Yes I said that!
This is how I have been able to stay on facebook and deal with all these individuals of all types of backgrounds and value systems. I can't control any
other groups where the conversations are #TotallyOutOfControl.
But if you want to continue to bring great information into #MyCircle and be a part of #MyCommunity, you need to be respectful to me and others -- first and foremost.
I am now in the process of #PurgingFolks from my timeline and putting new people on there. And just because you are not on my timelines (I have 4 timelines), it doesn't stop you from being in one or more of my 9 groups (located at the end of this e-newsletter) so join us today for #StrikingConversationsandSolutions. We welcome you!
Because I will have all these new individuals on my timelines, it means many new people will be reaching out on
#
FacebookMessenger
.
People already send me absolutely everything!
Sometimes I get over 30, sometimes 40, facebook messenger messages a day and people always add me into their conversations on there and it's just too much so I have to
#BlockFolks
or just don't respond back.
As a business owner, my #PetPeeve is people who don't return phone calls, emails or texts, so I don't like being put in a position where I can't respond back to folks, so hopefully after this article people will understand all the facebook messenger messages are
#Overwhelming. I see everything but I don't have time to respond back.
Unless I am familiar with someone, I don't and won't answer all the messages, so therefore, reach out to me through my company,
CathyHarrisInternational.com
or email: Cathy@cathyharrisinternational.com, if you really have something important to say.
Just remember that everything you say on
#SocialMedia
is being
#RecordedForever
by  social media platforms, and especially by the government, so they will show up at your door if you say the #WrongThing.
Cathy Harris Dating Checklist
 Like many #Older and #MatureWomen at age 62,
I am not a
#SpringChicken
anymore, so I have a very
#LowTolerance
for things that just don't make sense.
However,
unlike many women today, I do know what I want out of this thing called #Life. I know what I will tolerate and what I won't tolerate -- in my life and in my social media community.
If you are contacting me to use my #ConsultingServices or to form some type of #BusinessAlliance or #StrategicPartnership, then just say so.
When people come into #MyCircle or when they contact me on facebook messenger, by phone, text, email or other social media sites, they usually go into my
#Inbox
or
#Outbox
.
I just don't have a lot of time to waste with folks who don't know what they want out of life and I am not a
#Johnny-Come-Lately (#Newcomer)
to any scene, especially the dating scene.
Since becoming single over a few weeks ago, I am not ready to start dating, but I might be slowly coming around to the idea, especially  since I a
m being approached both on and offline with #PotentialSuitors.
I do believe women should make a #ShortList
when it comes to finding their significant other. You know exactly what will and won't make you happy -- so why spend time with someone that won't make you happy or someone who is really #NotDateable.
Women have boxes that they #NeedChecked  when they see someone that they might be interested in. This is what I need as a 62 year old Single black woman:
- He must be taller than me: I am 5'8" (68 inches). I like men at least 6 feet. But I will go shorter, but not much.
- He need to have a nice smile: If you have
 issues with your teeth, that's a #DealBreaker. If men can't afford to get their teeth fixed, and they are out there dating, that's a tell-tale sign of a guy not finanically secure. So move on.
- He needs to have nice skin: The skin is the #LargestOrgan of the body. You can
 tell if a person is healthy or not (not always but many times) by looking at their skin. If they take care of their skin, it means there is a good chance they take care of their body.
- He needs to be slim (or not big) around the middle: Most men need to be around 40 inches or smaller (women 35 or smaller) around the waist to be healthy. Men never had babies so it's a big #TurnOff, when they carry too much weight around the middle. It's not just called a #BeerGut. It's called #UnhealthyGut. And when they are too big around the middle, it's a tell-tale
 sign of how active they are.
That's what I want and is looking for but chances are we might have to work on each other - our smile, skin issues and
 even waistline, but still know what you want and need upfront. And if men aren't willing to
#BeHealthy or
#GetHealthy and especially get off medications, then you might have to
#MoveOn, otherwise, you might end up being just as unhealthy as them because
#HabitsDoRubOff.
Decide Upfront If You Are #SingleByChoice
 Before I left Atlanta after living there for 20 years in 2013, I was
#SingleByChoice
When I worked for the federal government in an abusive workplace,
I wasn't a
good candidate for
a relationship because I had to #PayAttention
to what was happening to me and my family - physically, mentally and spiritually. However, I was in a #LongDistanceRelationship for a while.
There are many women who are
#SingleByChoice, that might be taking a break from dating and women who are
#JustSingle, waiting on
#MrRight.
I believe many women who are
#SingleByChoice, are not just waiting on the
 right person, many of these persons just desire to be single at least for the moment.
They have had the
#TrueLoves of their lives or
#TheirSoulmates and now they just want to move on with their lives. Many younger and older women have had
#SoulMates who have passed on and others just don't want the
#HeadacheofDating or
#BeingLiedTo.
They have been there and done that.
Start A Business or Stay Visible To Get Noticed
One way of meeting many suitors online is to get out there and
#BeVisible, especially with your
#OwnBusiness so as a business owner,
 you have to
#StayVisible.
Your goal is to gain clients and customers. Men like women who
are
#Strong
and
#Independent, especially with their own businesses. They feel these women won't be
#TooClingy because they have something else to keep them busy.
Demand Respect and Make Sure You #RemainProfessional With Guys on the Internet
Just carry yourself in a
professional manner at all times --
#MenAreAlwaysWatchingYou.
They are watching everything that you do on the internet. They are looking at your responses to articles,  pictures and posts.
They are
#WatchingYou!
When those pictures and postings go out on the internet, they are
#ForeverRecorded. So understand upfront
 you can't take them back.
Make sure men respect you
from
the very
beginning ladies by always
#Speaking professionally
to them at all times so they won't get the
#WrongMessage
. 
My first advice for all women is not to allow men to start calling you
#Baby,
#Sweetheart,
#Honey, #CutiePie
and other words they think you want to hear -- too soon.
These are words that should not be thrown around and should be used when men get serious about you -- not after one or two conversations. So don't allow this!
Some men will find it attractive, that you approach them in this manner because they will know you are probably approaching other guys in the same manner -- so to them --
#ItCanBeClassy
.
I am a professional and run my own
#EmpowermentCompany,
AngelsPress.com,
so I tell men to call me #Cathy
or
#MsHarris
,  even if they are trying to approach me for dating.
I am also a part of the #MeToo  movement and when I was in the workplace working with mostly men for over 20 years, I filed a #SexualHarassment complaint - so I know how I want to be approached.
And teach your daughters also to demand respect from men.
When you allow this too soon, you are actually
#HandingOverPower
in the  relationship from the very beginning so before handing over your power, investigate these suitors to see if they are even a #GoodMatch
for
you.
See if they can be a #King to your #Queen.
Look on his timeline. If you see others that you know or that you have befriended ask them about that person. Many probably won't answer you though --
#MenWont, but
#SistersWill.
Are You Clueless When It Comes to Men Being Interested in You?
 Dating today is so different than yesterday, especially on
#SocialMedia. Some women are
#Clueless when it comes to men being interested in them.
However, I believe many of the men online on social media websites are just
#FishingForWomen, so therefore, you got to check them out and not waste your time with them because many are
#NotDateable.
Many are just looking to see if you are on
Tinder, the
#DatingApp for
#BootyCalls. I can't believe we live in a time where you can just reach out to someone -- anyone for a
#BootyCall. The world has definitely changed.
You really think you know people then a man
#OutOfTheBlue will
#Proclaim his love for you.
First of all this happened to me after working for 11 years at the Atlanta Airport. After my best friend, a male, retired, he announced that he was in love with me.
My question for him was, "What are we going to do with your wife - bury her in the backyard?
I never allow myself to go for
#MarriedMen
and even if he was
#Single
, h
e wasn't my type. He dranked alcohol entirely too much for me. My father was an alcoholic and I swore I would never get with one.
You talk to some of these guys on the internet in
two or
three conversations and many will think you are in a
#SeriousRelationship with them. I call them
#PhantomBoyfriends and these are the ones that end up
#GettingBlocked in my community.
I talked to one guy for years on the internet then all of a certain out of the blue, he announces that he is in love with me and wanted to leave his wife for me.
I am not the type of woman that breaks up relationships. The only thing a
#MarriedMan can do for me is to point to a
#SingleMan. So eventually, he got
#Blocked -- plus he wasn't my type.
Make it a point to stay away from
#MarriedMen. I don't care how
#FinanciallySecure they are. I know many times they lie to you and they don't wear rings or they will tell you they are separated.
But as soon as you find out a guy is
#Married, leave the relationship. Don't be another woman's pain. You wouldn't want her doing that to you.
I was talking back and forth with this guy about our businesses -- a few times, then all of a sudden, he asked me if I had a PayPal.com account. I responded yes -- then he asked me to send him $25 because he said someone busted out his car window.
Of course he ended up #GettingBlocked. So many of these internet friends or so-called #PhantomBoyfriends will try to use you for money -- so
#BeCarefulOfThat
.
One day I was talking to a guy in the movement. We were talking about
#Building
and helping black folks, then out of the blue, he makes the statement,
#YouHavePrettyLips
.
I had no idea this guy was even interested in me. I wasn't interested in him. I was only interested in
#Building
and helping black folks so he got
#Blocked
. Again, don't waste your time with these #PhantomBoyfriends on social media.
Watch Men (and Women) #GetFreaky On the Weekends or Holidays
I was counseling
(giving #FreeAdvice)
to a young man in his early 30s, younger than my daughters, on the internet by going back and forth on facebook messenger not too long ago. I probably spent an hour talking with him and educating him on some facts of life.
When Friday night came, his tune totally changed. He started making all types of
#UnprofessionalSexualRemarks to me.
So this was his intentions the whole time. He was interested in me the entire time and I did not even realize it. You can imagine what I did next -- yes
#IBlockedHim
.
What is it about weekends on facebook and probably Instagram? Some of these guys that are #NotDateable will get drunk or high on weekends (and holidays) and say anything to you.
If you see a guy that you secretly admire, watch his posts on the weekends and holidays.
If they get a
#LittleFreaky, #Sexual
or
#Disrespectful
, then the #RealMale (#TheirRealPersonality)
is coming out or they are drunk or high.
So unless he is in the #SexBusiness, then you know just how he is going to come off to you -- probably #Sexual and #Disrespectful
so these are the guys you want to watch out for and #Block.
Also when women do the same thing, men, and even friends and relatives, might be watching them. If you come off like that on the internet, #GoodMen will not want to get with you, so you might be messing up a good thing. And many, both men and women, will look at you and think #Desperation.
Again, there is a time to do all that #SexualTalk -- behind closed doors when you get into a relationship, but keep it offline. And I know you can't be still in anyone's workplace doing this because most jobs go all over the internet to investigate you before they hire you and even use social media to come up with reasons to fire you.
Facebook has almost turned into a #PornSite, depending on which groups you are on.
#DecentMen will not want to be involved with women who are
#TalkingDirtyOnline
and/or posting
#SexualPictures
online...even showing too much cleavage.
We
live in a
#RapeCulture
today -- because  women allow men to get away with #Disrespecting them
too much, especially on #SocialMedia. Back in my day of course we did not have the internet, but we also demanded that men respected us.
And this is why Police Officers no longer investigate rapes and sexual assaults and many especially higher ups  (including military personnel) are involved in
#SexTrafficking,
#PedophileRings, Organ Harvesting
,
Also many women get raped on weekends and  holidays (especially 4 day weekends), when #MenLetLoose and get #BuckWild. You especially want to watch yourself if you live around military bases, when they return back from weeks of training in woods.
When they get back from training all they want to do is #Party and #PickUpWomen so check to see if there are any military bases close to where you live. And make it a point to stay away from these facilities.
Many men especially on holidays, even buy the #PlanBPill and pour it down women's throats when they rape them, so they don't get pregnant. Therefore, be careful when you are out there partying.
We heard for years about all the women in colleges being raped. Nothing ever came of those stories, but a few lawsuits here and there so it's probably still happening today. Talk to your daughters, especially before they go off to college.
Of course you can't leave your drink unattended, even with someone you think is a friend, especially a male friend. Nowadays, men can blow #DateRapeDrugs directly into your face -- rendering you into a #ZombieLike state.
With #NewDateRape drugs like #DevilBreath (where you turn into a zombie),  you won't remember a thing if you wake up at all. Many are waking up sex trafficked or missing organs. These guys are especially #WatchingYouOnline so don't post too much online information about your plans or trips.
 Also take self defense classes, shooting lessons, get some maze, a taser, a body alarm, learn how to use a knife and watch how you dress, especially when you are alone.
We live in a new day and time and many women are even
#BeingRaped by
Uber and
Lyft drivers so never get in these cars drunk. And if you drive for these companies, try not to drive at night. Always travel with a friend and get out of these cars when your friend gets out.
Two Types of Men - #Decent and #Indecent Men
There are
#TwoTypes of men
 or
#TwoTypes
of humans really -
#Decent and
#Indecent. Most of us have probably been lucky enough or fortunate enough to never experience
hellish circumstances when dealing with men.
#HumanKindness can be found in both
groups and the
boundaries between these two groups can overlap so we must not try to #SimplifyMatters by saying that some men are #Angels and some are #Devils.
Dating is so
#NerveRacking today, but if you can find out a lot about these individuals online on facebook messenger, texting, email or on the phone before the first date might make
 everything much easier.
Before a first date is even over and before we know anything about who that person is sitting across from us, we're already wondering whether there's a potential future here. It's a lot of pressure!
To alleviate some anxieties of dating and relationships, many people have
#DatedDown in order to keep the upper hand. Think about it -- looking back at your past relationships, how many of your partners were you hotter or smarter or more successful than?
How many were hotter, smarter, or more successful than you? We've all been on one side or the other, because when it comes to relationships, things aren't always quite equal.
Date Younger
Don't #Settle for something just because society says it's okay. Men have dated younger women for years because society says it's okay.
Well if you feel a man is too old for you and  that's all you been running into lately is #DirtyOldMen, who can barely get off the couch unless you lite a stick of dynamite under it -- then #DateDown.
For instance, I recently talked to a guy 65 years old on facebook messenger.
I am 62, but know I need to #DateYounger for this simple reason.
I am not trading in
#OneOldMan (my last relationship) for another old man -- with their
#OldManWays and that
#OldManEnergy. I am too young and vibrant for that -- not the second time around.
Check Out His Energy
 Many people get together and end up happy because they have the #SameType of energy. Remember there are older men with #AYoungMans
energy (I am not just talking about sexually) and older men with
#AnOldMans
energy. So make sure you know the difference.
You need to figure out when dating an older man does he have
#OldMans
energy because he is unhealthy or because he is just
#SetInHisWays
.
You should not have to give up dancing and all the other
physical activities that you enjoy just because you get with an
older guy, so again, he might have
#OldMans energy, especially if he doesn't want to try something new.
These are the men that are
#SetInTheirWays and they have one belief system, "It's their way or the highway." So be careful of men that have just given up on life and are not going to put in the work to entertain or keep you. Avoid these men at all cost!
Be Careful of Financially Secure #OlderMen
 Many men today are more
financially  secure
than
others, especially older men. Just keep in mind no woman is going to want to give up living and be a #Nursemaid to any man.
I had a friend who waited until she was 50 years old to get married and her husband was financially secure. The man she married was also 50 years of age. Six months into their marriage, he ended up on #KidneyDialysis.
She politely took him to California so his family could  take him into #KidneyDialysisCenters 3 days a week for 5 hours at a time. Again, women should not and will not be a #NurseMaid to these men, unless they were married or with them for years.
 Men need to be careful because many women today are #GoldDiggers and they are looking for #SugarDaddies. But when you get with these older men later on in your life,
I don't care how much money he has.
#LifeIsTooShort, so stop giving up a part of yourself to a man just because he is more financially secure -
#SeekOutTrueHappiness.
What You Need To Know About #Introverts, #Extroverts, #BetaMen, and #AlphaMen
 Look at the #Traits
from your old relationships that you did not like and make sure you don't date the #SameType of men again.
Try to date
#TotalOpposites
from what you are used to.
Ladies if you usually date
#Introverts
, men that are quiet and it hasn't worked out, this go
round go for
#Extroverts
, men that are more outgoing.
Also do this with #Beta and #AlphaMen. Beta men are #MommaBoys and usually women have to step up to the plate and be the #Leaders in the household. You will probably have Mother-in-Law issues with #MommaBoys.
On the other hand #AlphaMen are more into taking care of the family and being the head of the family, but many can be #HeadStrong.
Being a headstrong person is not always a bad thing.
They are
determined to have their own way because they have a
strong
belief that their view - and what they have in their
head
- is the best one.
Just keep in mind that whether your man is a
#Beta
or
#Alpha
, each one can be an
#Introvert
or
#Extrovert.
My last mate was an Introverted (quiet) Type A Alpha Male (or homebody).
I am an Extroverted (outgoing)
people person, so our personalities
#DidNotMatch.
They do say
#OppositesAttract
, but not in our case. I got bored of staying at home and he refused to go out. So #WeClashed.
Smile To Find 'True Love'
Again, look for different traits in men. If your man did not make you smile in your last relationship, look for a man that will make you smile - a man with a #SenseOfHumor.
In order to get with someone today - #Smile. Because we live in such a #DarkTime (#Trumpism), most adults only smile 4 times a day -- so #Smile.
Men love to see #WomenWhoSmile. It's attractive to them. If you are #MeanMugging  (or have a sour look on your face everytime men see you) they will keep it moving. They will think you are going to be #TooMuchWork. They will move on to a woman who is smiling because this looks attractive to them.
Give Women Time To Heal After A Breakup
Believe me if a man, a potential #NewMan truly want you, he will do
 what you ask and be patient after you have had a break up with your late mate.
Men are totally different than women. Many men will go from relationship to relationship, because many don't want to be by themselves or they want to be taken care of by a woman.
We all know that Single Women
live longer than
Single Men
.
But after a
#BreakUp
, however, many women want and need some time to
#FindThemselvesAgain
(or in some cases
#Rejoice
, especially if the relationship was toxic, abusive and controlling).
 Women are no longer defined by that relationship so they need time to heal before moving on to another relationship. So #DontPushThem or you #MightLoseThem. Just hang back and #BeSupportive. Be a #SoundingBoard for them and when they are ready, you will get the #GrandPrize.
The Key to A Woman's Heart - Affection
If a man wasn't open to giving you affection in your last relationship, then date a man this time that will
#ShowerYouWithAffection.
If you have been living in a drought,
#WithoutAffection from a past relationship, or if you have
#OldSchoolValues, you might need to tell him to
#SlowDown or he will
#GetBlocked.
Again, know what you want ladies. If he is not willing to have
#DateNight with you at least
#OnceAWeek to keep your love alive, whether he is old or young, then there is a good chance, you are
#NotCompatible.
All couples need that time to be intimate with each other so get a babysitter or do whatever you have to do - to #KeepYourLoveAlive.
Let me tell you
#ABigSecret
about women -  men. All women want to be wooed. They want to be pursued. So you need to be on your
#BestBehavior
and take her out to
#RomanticDinners
, give her flowers, cards,
 balloons, jewelry, chocolates (unless they are watching their weight) -- the whole nine yards -- and do it often, not just on holidays.
If you don't have a lot of money, you need to get another part-time job or start a business. You can also take her out to less expensive things such as a picnic or a walk in the park or on the beach. Love doesn't have to be that expensive.
Women just want to be close to you.
Many men don't even like saying the words
"I Love You,"
but women need to hear those words. They fall in love between their ears -- with what you say to them.
She basically, just want you to spend time with her. But if men don't make an effort to be with a woman -- to show her he cares, then the relationship is sure to fail.
If you work a lot and you use your time off to be with the fellas or family members (brothers, etc.), then she will feel left out so again, women just want to see you making an effort to be alone with them.
 All women love affection. They want long,
#DeepKisses
like Rhett Butler did to Scarlet O'Hara in the movie "
Gone With the Wind
."
Women love to be kissed, hugged and squeezed
#Often
and other things that comes with relationships.
 They have
#10HotSpots
that will drive them absolutely crazy, if you discover them. The goal is to discover these #HotSpots and satisfy your woman and #DriveHerMad. If  you are not willing to put in the work, then #ReleaseHer so she can find a man that will. Pay that #ChildSupport and release that woman! Everyone deserves to be happy in this lifetime.
Stop the Drama Online Sistars - Respect Other Queens and Kings
Women today, old and young, need to stop all
 this
#Drama, especially on the internet. We know a lot of times, it's
#BlackFaces but other people, however,
#StopTheDrama.
We had the same issues back in the day, that you have today, however, we dealt with it without any
#Drama and with
grace and
respect.
At 62, I found out 5 years ago, I have another sister.
So my papa, just like many men today, was a
#RollingStone
.
There are no books out there written on being a #StepMother or #StepFather.
You have to figure it out on your own, but do it with #Grace and #Dignity.
And if you are single, thinking
you will meet a man without children, it might be hard.
So allow
#Stepfathers
to love #YourChildren and
#TheirChildren
and be kind to your children's father and his new wife, mate, significant other and/or partner because
#BlackMen
,
#BlackWomen
and
#TheBlackFamily
have it hard today.
Get a Mentor for You and Your Kids - Just Ask for Help!
Get a #NewVision and #ChangeYourCircle  of friends and show a little k
indness
and d
ecency
all around
and
stop the drama
. Your kids are watching everything that you do. Stop using profanity around your kids and don't let others use profanity around them. And most of all #StopPosingNudeOnline.
Women can't raise boys on their own so get a mentor for your sons and daughters and allow them to start businesses. Read my business books in this e-newsletter and join my youth business group at
I Support Youth Entrepreneurs
on facebook.
Raise strong families again. Get a mentor for yourself also. Get a
#MatureBlackWoman to
#MentorYou and help with your kids, if that's what you need. Turn off the TV and
 turn your home into a learning center (
MobileLearningClubs.com) and
just ask folks for help! It's better to ask for help than to keep making
#BadDecisions
.
Stop Giving Out the Milk for Free
Back in the day we used to say, "Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get the Milk Free." This idiom is usually used to refer to men who don't want to get married, when they can get all the benefits of marriage without getting married.
Just remember ladies, as an #OldSchoolBabyBoomer, with a #DeepRootedValueSystem, my two  daughters CAN NEVER say that I brought all types of men around them. They can never make that statement! So i
t's important to have #FamilyValues. Just
understand upfront that your kids shouldn't meet #EveryMan you date.
I have spoken to couples who said they had sex
 on the
FIRST DATE and they are still together 20 years later, but I would not risk it today.
Today too many things can go wrong so d
on't be so quick to get with these guys. If he is a gentleman, he will wait and be patient.
If a
 man treats you good on your
#FirstDate, you can kiss him, but wait until date number 3 or 4 or even 5 or 6 before anything else happens and if he is still around after
2 months, then introduce him to your kids.
Don't allow a man to have
#UnprotectedSex with you -
#ValueYourself and especially your
 body. Remember your body is a
#Temple. If he tells you he can't wear a
#Condom, especially older men, where AIDS and HIV have flooded many Senior communities, then don't lie down with him. Be a voice in your own relationship.
#ProtectYourBodyMindandSoul.
Dating Is Not A Competition
We live in a time where women today are #CompetingWithMen. Dating should never be viewed as a #Competition, so many women and men need to work on how they
#TreatEachOther.
You see tons of men getting beat up on  social media by women. This is not only embarrassing to men, but it shows how the #AngerOfWomen has just escalated to the point of no return.
This is mostly because  of the foods today (GMO Processed Foods), which turns the brain off and also causes #Anger.
Women are made differently than men, we don't have the same #UpperBodyStrength that men have so  personally, I would never try to fight a man.
Not just #PhysicalStength, but I do feel that men can be #IntimidatedByWomen and this can cause friction in relationships. For instance, my last mate was a #BigMuscularTypeAAlphaMale.
 Even though this man was talented on all  fronts, I was also talented on all fronts.
I do feel he was #Envious of the fact that I was able to grow crops in our 3 raised bed gardens -- and everything he touched  #Died.
Understand, I had attended gardening classes for 2 months so this is why I had the #Upperhand, when it came to gardening, but it still caused friction in our relationship.
We both were raised up on farms and neither  of us in the very beginning of
#OurRelationship and starting our garden knew how to grow foods. The problem was I admitted it and attended classes and he being a #MascelineTypeAAlphaMale, kept  pretending.
So if you get with these types of men, that want to keep pretending and keep lying to themselves and are not open with you -- #KeepItMoving -- #MoveOn, again, #AllMyExsLiveInTexas.
Men Are Visual - They Want To See A 'Full-Body' Picture (Pic) Upfront
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Some women are not comfortable showing their  entire body online. I always tell women to take a full-body shot along with face shots to be posted on our dating website, at BlackMatchmakerclub.com, but make sure of course you have clothes on.
 You can do this with your #Smartphone (Samsung or Iphone) today. Buy a $6.00 #SelfieStick from Amazon.com. Stand in front of a white wall in your home and put some light on you and take the picture or go outside in the sunlight  and have some greenery or a different color from your outfit in the background.
Again,
men need that
#FullBodyPic
of you.
If you are only putting a facial shot
or a shot of half your body online, it will be hard for you to meet someone online because unless you eventually put out a
#FullBody shot
, they will think you have something to hide. Be proud of yourself. You are a
#WorkInProgress.
Make sure, however, you don't  get in the habit of forwarding pictures around the internet with hardly nothing on.
Be careful sending pics around the internet, especially #SexyPictures.
If you have pictures on your timeline, tell them to go there and see  what you look like. They already know what you look like, otherwise, they would never have reached out in the first place.
This guy
wanted me to forward him a
#FullBodyPic right away because again  men are #Visual.
They are not going to waste time talking to you on facebook, instagram and other social media sites unless they can see a #FullBodyPic.
On the other hand, women will date not so sexy men with good careers, but men
#WontDate unattractive women because men  are even more visual than women.
Men like to be able to think about what
 they have waiting for them at home or even brag to their friends that they have a
#Sexy or
#PrettyWoman
waiting for them at home.
Many men do
 prefer larger women. So again, online there is a
#SeaOfMen or
#PotentialSuitors for all types of women, but they need to see a
facial and
body shot of you because
#MenAreVisual.
Watch Catchwords Like #GoodCatch
Motivational Speaker Anthony Robbins said it  best when he made the statement "Couples need to treat each other just like they did when they first starting dating. Then they should not have any issues." However, it's easier said than done and couples need to have the same #ValueSystem.
#DontSettle ladies because you know upfront what you want and what you are looking for. Don't fall for some old #JiveTalkingNegro, who swear up and down he has his shit together.
He will tell you at the very beginning of your communication that he is a #GoodCatch.
This is just what he thinks about himself, but it doesn't mean that he is right for you.
 You want a man to be
#Confident (just like you need to be
#Confident)
, but some like to brag about themselves. It's great meeting these men on facebook because you want to be in a position to look on their timelines, at their pictures, videos and see other things they are involved in.
Just keep in mind many of these pictures and videos could be #Old -- maybe as much as 20 years ago.
He might have been all that back in the day, but now he might be talking to you from a Senior citizen home or center, where he is #Immobile -- so investigate if you are interested in being with someone.
Look for the Lies To Start Rolling In
When a man says he is a
#GoodCatch, my antennas go all the way up right away and my
#InvestigativeAntennas kick into gear. From then on I dissect everything that he says afterwards and
#LookForTheLies.
One of the
#BiggestMistakes that men make is they don't know that women
#NeverForget what they have said to them. They have ears like
#AnElephant, so don't try to change your story - fellas
#OhYouSaidIt!!!
If he go back and forth on facebook messenger, texting, email or the phone -- when he lies, it means he now believe his lies to be
#TheTruth so continue to count how many times he lies to you, then prepare to
#BlockHim.
For instance, one guy told me at least 5 lies in back and forth conversations that we had in about 30 minutes on facebook messenger so I was able to
#RuleHimOut as a
#PotentialSuitor right away.
He said he was covered by dental services from
VA.gov (Veteran's Administration), but he was in the military around the same time I was in the military and for the same length of time, 3 years, so naturally I knew from the jump he was lying.
The military only cover dental treatment for people who were lifers, unless someone was injured directly while serving on
#ActiveDuty and he never said that in our conversation, so I knew upfront he was lying.
The reason the dental issue came up is his front teeth were broke, which is really a
#DealBreaker to me. I just wanted to see him explain to me how he can be out there dating with a front teeth broke.
I can see if it happened yesterday and he was in the process of fixing it, but he came up with an excuse that I was able to verify right away. So pay attention and even go back over the conversations and investigate what he said to you --
#ThenBlockHim.
Pick Up on the First Lie and Look for More Lies
The first lie was the damaged front teeth and dental issue and the second lie was #HeJustGaveUpSmoking. I must have been off my game that day because usually when men reach out to me about dating on facebook, the first question out of my mouth is #DoYouSmoke, etc.
Then I look at their pictures on their timeline, then I ask about their height, weight, physical activities, etc. I was  trying to see how active he was and he
said he is still quite athletic for his age, 65.
However, he said he just gave up smoking only 5 years earlier, so to me that was a #RedFlag. Again, smoking is a
#DealBreaker
so if he just gave up smoking in his 60s, it probably means he still smokes.
 And there is no way he is going to be involved in all those physical activities smoking cigarettes, so he is lying about how physical he is also. Again, #PlayDetective if you are truly looking for #TrueLove, #Eliminate, #Next. You can also pay around $39 to do a background on someone. Many roommate services do this.
I had a website where you pay $20 a month and it would tell you everything about someone. It told whether they had been in jail, filed a bankruptcy and other private info.
Men try to get you to prove to them that you
 need to
#BeWorthy to be with them and it needs to be the other way around.
First of all this guy made the statement that kind of pissed me off and
#MyAntennas
was all the way up. He said, "I don't usually date anyone around your age."
Again, he was 65 and I am 62. Right away men are trying to get you to prove that you are
#WorthyOfBeingWithThem because you are an older woman. You don't have to prove to him that
#OlderIsBetter. This is a game they play.
I never hid my age from him. I told him that right away and if you go back over any of my postings, unlike many women today, I am not embarrassed to say my age
(#ProudEnergetic62YearOld).
So my age was never a secret, but he wanted to
play this game with me and I just wasn't up to it, especially when I found several other statements he made that did not match up.
Listen to Even More Lies
I am currently traveling around the country moving every 6 months to a year. I currently stay in a Studio/Efficiency Apartment for Seniors over 55 and older and will be moving in 10 months.
However, I can afford a much larger place or house, but
 while I travel I do downsize. When I told this 65 year old guy about where I was staying, he responded that he had tried to move into a "Senior Trailer Community",
but he made $100 too much, so in other words, he did not have a cushion in his Senior years so I picked up on that.
Plus I don't want to end up with a man in a
 trailer park. So this man was bringing nothing but his
#BrokeSelf to the table. So listen for the
#KeyWords when you are conversating with these men on the internet. They lie but not that good.
Again, all you have to do is talk to these guys
 and they will tell you what you need to know. Keep the conversations professional. Once the conversations turns
#Sexual, you have lost the upper hand.
Personally, I would not spend over 24 hours (48 max) conversating back and forth with anyone unless I was really interested in them, so
#PlayDetective right away and
#KeepItMoving.
I did not block him right away. I allowed him to keep talking and looked for even more lies. Again, I found at least 5 lies that this guy told me in 30 minutes going back and forth on facebook messenger then #IBlockedHim the  next day.
If he told me these many lies in 30 minutes, can you imagine what else he was lying about. He was also probably an #Alcoholic too and probably did not have a car.
A man can get  another job, even if he has 3 jobs already and buy himself a car. There are all types of #LegalSideGigs
that men can do today to make #ExtraMoney as they move forward and start a business.
If men are #Sick or #Broke, then they are #NotDateable -- not at that time so stop wasting your time with these types of men. They will want you to come into their relationships and help them heal, but again they need to #HealThemselves before they put themselves out there on the market.
If he doesn't have a 5 or 10 year plan, then he is not right for you. Don't get caught up with men that lie to you. Find out early on what they are lying about and #MoveOn. There are plenty of #GoodFish in the sea.
Can You Survive A Long Distance Relationship?
Many of these relationships on facebook and other social media sites, might be
long distance relationships
. Long distance relationships are especially hard so if you don't want to be in a
#LongDistanceRelationship
, let
#PotentialSuitors
know that up front.
And don't just hop up and relocate to another city just to be with a guy. Make sure you check him out way ahead of time.
Sometimes you #Waste weeks, months or even years being in these types of relationships.
If he doesn't attempt to meet you face to face by coming to your city or sending you a #PlaneTicket (like they would have done back in my day) after knowing you for a while -- then #MoveOn
because chances are he might just be stringing you along -- or
#HeMightBeMarried. 
Don't continue these conversations forever.
After going back and forth on facebook messenger, text or email for at least one to two weeks, it's time to talk by telephone. Then the
#NextStep
is to meet
#FaceToFace
.
 But before you ever get to the phone, #Investigate what they say to you by going back and looking at the messages (facebook messenger, texts,  emails) and if it is not what you want to hear -- don't give them your phone number, instead #BlockThem and
#MoveOn.
Again, #LifeIsTooShot and there are tons of #PotentialSuitors waiting to #DateYou. However,
#DontPursueThem, let them #PurseYou because you are bringing what they need to the table.
Again, if you enjoyed reading this article and taking in all this great information and advice from a
#BabyBoomer, then surely you will enjoy the book,
"Love After 50."
As an Empowerment Speaker, Advice Columnist and Love Coach, as you can see this article is full of #DynamicInfo if you are out there in the #DatingGame.
Put yourself in the game. You never know what will happen. Understand that no one is going to just walk up to your door and
#ProclaimTheirLove for you - you have to put in the work. Or allow us at our
FREE Dating Website at
www.BlackMatchmakerClub.com
to help you find
#TrueLove
. He is waiting for you. Good luck!!!
Cathy Harris is an Empowerment and MotivationalSpeaker, Advice Columnist at DearCathy.com, Non-GMO Health and Wellness Expert, Business and Love Coach and Self-Publishing Expert and the author of 26 non-fiction books at
www.AngelsPress.com
. Her books covers topics such as family and community empowerment, health, youth and adult entrepreneurship, writing/publishing, workplace discrimination, whistleblowing, government, law enforcement, domestic and international traveling, politics, media, beauty, car buying and selling for women, aging/retirement - just to name a few. She offers seminars, workshops and consultations at
www.CathyHarrisInternational.com.
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Love After 50: Love Questions from DearCathy.com After Hours
Available as an e-book & paperback
Table of Contents
Section 1 - Singles Over 50 Love Issues
- Still Hoping and Searching for Love
- Dating A Younger Man
- True Love - But Two Households
- Mate Won't Destroy Sex Tape
- In Love With Friend's Ex
- New Mate Too Clingy
- In Abusive Relationship
- Mate is the Jealous Type
- Dating Outside My Race
- Bald Men Make Better Lovers
- Getting Breast Implants for Mate
Section 2 - Couples Over 50 Love Issues
- Sick of Being Sexless in Seattle
- Wife Seeks More Intimacy
- Couple Need to Shop Online
- Husband Left Along on New Years
- Husband Can't Say He Loves Wife
- Married to a Homebody
- Senior Couple Dislike Seniors
- Mate Won't Give Up Closet Space
- End of Dancing Days
- Wife Attracted to Other Women
- Mate Avoids Intimate Conversations
- When Is It Time To Move On?
- Leaving Financially Secure Mate
Section 3 - Health Issues Destroying Relationships and Remedies
- Sick and Dating
- ED and A Younger Woman
- Leaving Mate Because of Diet
- Garlic Playing Havoc on Relationship
- Toxic Household Products and Sex
- High Blood Pressure, ED and Sex
- Testosterone the "Love Hormone"
- Manhood Lost to Prostate Cancer
- Wife Has "Female Pattern Baldness"
- Fight Off Depression
- Painful Menstrual Cramps
- Unbearable Hot Flashes
- Hysterectomy Ends Sex Life
- Treat Husband for Yeast Infection
- Controlling Outbreaks of Herpes, Shingles and Urinary Tract Infections
- Viagra Side Effects
- Supplements Raises Sexual Desires
- Seeking Sexual Activity Through Diet
- Healthier Enough for Sex
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Fifth Step:
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Or read the other book, "The New CEO", to get some ideas for a potential business.
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