How You Perceive Your Coachees Shapes Coaching

A coach is not an automaton spewing an AI-generated list of questions in the order in which they were generated. Coaches are human beings who bring their own experiences, knowledge, understanding, and values to each coaching session. The human empathy, listening, and responsiveness that makes coaching so effective demands thoughtful metacognition by the coach to identify perceptions and set aside related assumptions and biases. 

Coaches are responsible for reflecting on their perceptions, noting potential negative effects, and working to set them aside. Following are some useful questions you can ask yourself to maximize outcomes in three different situations:

• When you and a coachee seem similar: What am I assuming about this person based on the connection I feel with them? How can I challenge that assumption through questioning? What powerful question have I asked myself that may be relevant for this person?

• When you and a coachee seem to have little in common: What biases may I be displaying based on my lack of understanding of this person? How can I set aside biases and ask questions without any expectation of a particular answer? What question could establish a trusting connection?

• When you have an emotional response to a coachee: Why am I feeling this emotion? How is this emotion affecting my ability to listen, question, or guide? What will help me process this experience later so that I can show up to coaching with full focus?

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