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How to Manage Conflict During a Difficult Divorce
There is some kind of conflict in any divorce, but if you experienced an unusually high level of conflict in your marriage, there is a good chance that it will follow you into your post-divorce life, especially if you have children. So it’s a good idea to have a strategy on how you can manage any divorce-related conflict or stress that may arise; here are some tips:

Respect your ex.  Before you married him or her, you found reasons to like and respect your spouse. Return to those reasons and try to see the good in your ex.

Abide by your agreement . Hopefully, you and your ex were able to come to a workable divorce agreement and now you need to abide by it. Your final decree is in actuality a court order, which means you are bound by law to follow it. Even if you have some resentful feelings over your divorce agreement, realize that your ex probably does, too — make peace with the fact that both of you had to compromise.

Let go of the past . Don’t let hurt feelings from the past cause conflict between you and your former spouse. It will serve you best to leave those feelings where they belong — in the past — and move on to living in the present.

Have empathy . Even though it may be difficult, try viewing stressful situations that crop up from your ex’s perspective. You may have to be more flexible than you’d like to be in some situations, but unless something your former spouse is doing is harmful to your children, it’s best to let the little things slide.

Put your children’s needs first . Your anger cannot be more important than your children, who love both of you and want you to get along. It hurts them terribly when you and your ex fight, so make it a point to keep their needs first. This can go a long way to reducing any negative effects of your divorce on your children, which was probably one of your biggest worries when you decided to divorce. The power to make things better for your children rests with you.

Practice good self-care.  Taking good care of yourself physically will make you feel better mentally. There is nothing magical about it: eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Make an effort to reshape your lifestyle into one that will encourage feelings of self-worth and esteem -- spend time doing things you like to do with people who bring positivity to your life.

Change your expectations.  Divorce can make you feel out of control and worried about the future, which can lead to depression. Realize that there are some things beyond your control -- like your ex’s behavior -- and let go of those things. Focus on what you can control, and get professional help if you need it -- from your attorney for legal issues, from a professional financial consultant for finance issues, and from a therapist for emotional issues.

Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Being prepared emotionally and physically for this endurance race not only gets you to the finish line but also helps you move on after your divorce in a more productive and hopeful way.
"“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”

~ Lou Holtz
Celebrating 40 Years in Law Practice
Congratulations Howard Duncan!
When we say our clients can count on the experience of the lawyers at Koenig|Dunne, we have the evidence to prove it: Howard Duncan. This year we celebrate Howard’s 40 years of helping families and businesses find fresh financial footing through workouts with creditors or bankruptcy.

Howard is the “go to” when lawyers need an attorney to handle the toughest matters. “The more complex the case the better,” says Howard, whose a passion for problem solving and advocacy has never been greater.

Congratulations, Howard, on both a brilliant career and on being an inspiration to all who seek a life of endless enthusiasm for what they do each day.
What NEXT?
NEXT is our annual Empowerment Series for Women and registration is now open for 2020.

Topics include: setting goals, finding your joy, financial planning, health and wellness, and envisioning a future life beyond today. Sessions will take place during 2 hour evening seminars over five months. The seminar is $175 for all 5 sessions.

Our presenters are Susan Koenig , life coach; Angela Dunne , attorney; Jill Ehlers , Partner Financial Advisor; and Lora McCarville , founder of Yoga Rocks the Park – Omaha.

People & Pets
Annual Firm Retreat!
Each November, we intentionally step away from the office (and into cabins at Mahoney State Park) and hold a firm retreat. Spending this time with our team out of the office is something we all look forward to every year– not to mention the snacks, laughter, brainstorming, and dreaming together about what is possible for the future of our firm!  
In Love and Loss
She said it in such a whisper I could barely tell she was talking. “I still love him,” she said with a shiver of shame running over her. My heart moved over to make room for her. I had met this sadness before – from the hims and hers who came in throughout the years ahead of her. 

They told me about the struggles living with a spouse addicted, with a spouse turned paranoid, or with a spouse now violent. Their sadness you could nearly cup in your hand it was so palpable. They sought options to end the cycle they were in: a drunken episode resulting in destroying their daughter’s Halloween costume that was to be worn in three days time, then apologies and more apologies followed by a devout resolve to make amends and change behavior only to have the cycle return in an endless orbit. Keep Reading
Coach's Corner
with Susan Ann Koenig
Astonishing Anniversary
I’d had a lot of conversations with Doug over the years. At times understanding his speech was a challenge for me. After a second ask that he repeat himself, I turned to Dave for interpretation.

Dave and Kenny, who have been a committed couple for 40 years, are Doug’s home teachers. Doug has Down syndrome. I first met Doug when he was a little boy. We met at a local community center where, thanks to my junior high teacher Miss McCrae, I had my first introduction to volunteering.

Who is Koenig|Dunne?
For over 35 years, the Koenig|Dunne team has been helping people pick up the pieces of their life to make a new start. Bringing a family business back from the brink of financial ruin. Sheltering a child from the conflict of a custody battle. We do this work because its work we know matters.

Whether an amicable collaboration or lengthy litigation lies ahead, we’re the team who will empower you on your path to a better future, from start to finish. That’s a promise. We promise you – we will see you, hear you, and stand by you. Learn More
Guidance when you want it. Strength because you need it.
(402) 346-1132