How to Successfully Manage the Challenges of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) in Marital Relationships
The divorce rate in marriages with one spouse diagnosed with AD/HD is approximately 85%. This condition brings a special set of challenges to a marriage. Frequent complaints include: "I can't depend on him/her for anything; she doesn't listen; he doesn't follow through on anything; she forgets things." These difficulties affect life issues ranging from childcare and household chores/finances to parenting, and are incredibly stressful. The non-AD/HD spouse may come to believe if anything is going to happen without having to repeatedly ask/remind the AD/HD spouse, whether it be picking up children from school, implementing a budget, scheduling doctor's appointments or planning family activities, they will have to do it. This can lead to resentment and sometimes anger. A sense of feeling under-appreciated and taken for granted develops, which strains the relationship - it becomes lopsided, not reciprocal. Eventually, the AD/HD person's 'irresponsible' behavior and repeated attempts to help him change his behavior creates an overwhelming feeling of frustration in the other non-AD/HD spouse, who becomes disheartened. Consequently, emotional and/or physical distance develops between the couple.
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