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The Deep Cost of Not Receiving
It’s a sad fact that those with low self-esteem have some sort of hidden barrier, a kind of forcefield that rejects compliments. The paradox being, of course, that praise and flattery is the very stuff, if they were but to let it in, that would boost their sense of self and grow confidence. The trouble is every batted-away compliment reinforces old stories you tell yourself:
- I’m not good enough
- They are being kind/ not honest/lying/just being nice
- If they really knew me, they’d take it back
You can’t build self-worth exclusively from the inside while constantly rejecting evidence from the outside.
Try on these questions instead
- What part of me struggles to believe this?
- Who would I be if I let this in?
- What am I afraid would change if I accepted myself.
A Super Powerful Coaching Tool
Working with my clients and student coaches at the Pure Coaching Academy I urge them all to buy a small notebook to record fifty to hundred good things about themselves. Write your achievements, that you are a good friend, parent, son or daughter, team mate etc. Keep a record of nice things people say, cut out and keep emails where people have thanked you.
Read your Big Me Up book regularly so you being to accept and absorb the staggering cosmic fabulousness of YOU.
How you do it?
As a coach I dare you to receive reality. To allow in what others see and appreciate about you. I urge you to not play safe and hide but to accept yourself as others see you.
And as for accepting the compliment – here’s the masterclass
Just say:
“Thank you.”
That’s it.
No small print.
No footnotes.
Let it land.
Let it feel slightly uncomfortable.
That discomfort is your edge - where self-worth grows.
You’ll be amazing at this, by the way 😉
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