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I discovered that to get beyond it, I needed to concentrate on what I wanted most, what was most important to me. And, in time I realized what I wanted most was to carry on and move forward.
So I just got out of bed and I started moving. Sometimes it was so bad, I couldn't even have coffee...and I love coffee! (But you knew that!)
Yet, I knew that if I stared it down and did my best to move right into it, against it....I'd get through it.
And, I knew that if I didn't....I'd lose everything I'd worked so hard, previously, to develop.
I couldn't delegate it to someone else.
Some things require personal attention!
I dealt with this awful situation for over ten years, until it began to let up. And happily, it didn't usually last all day.
If I got up and stared it down, by noon things were coming around.
I ended every day MUCH better that I started it....despite that many days I had to work through several panic attacks.
I didn't lose my creativity, and I was even able to start doing You Tube videos so I could share with others. There's no better feeling than when someone tells you what you've done in a video helped them to move through things that were difficult for them.
Now it's been over 13 years, doing that.
Being honest...through the years, I've been told that I'd helped, over and over again.
So glad I could help!
In time my situation got better and better, and I don't suffer like I used to. When I feel it coming on, and I do little things that chase it away before it gets a toehold. Some days I do better than others. And, I don't have to give up my morning coffee anymore....
Once I get up, make the bed, put the coffee pot on and savor my first big mug of joe, the world becomes a brighter place full of possibilities and new ideas.
All my troubles don't go away....but I realize I need to re-route myself, here and there.
Jump over the hurdles!
Now I'm not athletic...but mentally and emotionally, I do jump hurdles. When I fail, I dust myself off and keep going.
It's been a bad year...no, let me just say it's been positively awful. Really! Things are not great around here. It's very hard to keep people interested and get them to try something new. Still it's my mess to fix! But it's always better after coffee and a little prayer...and acknowledging the parts I could have done better.
Anything you really want is for you to make happen. Some things don't work, some do for awhile. Some work like CRAZY!
So think about, what MADE those things work? What did I do that was the right thing, what did I do that was a mistake?
Then take that and embroider it until you either patch it up...or figure out something better.
When I know I've done all I can, I hand it over to One is so much larger than my heart and knows how to fix everything. I breathe in and out, get some rest...and start over again the next day.
He'll help me...he always does.
He will help anyone who wants his help.
Keep working hard, keep chasing what you want...or need so badly!
Meantime, take pleasure in being kind, thinking of others, being helpful. Doing those things will bring you relief from the things that plague you!
Doing good to others is never the wrong thing.
Much love to one and all!
;-) B'sue
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