CARRYING THE WEIGHT
Sometimes the weight we carry isn't visible until we finally stop long enough to see it.
There is a picture I have been sitting with. At first glance, it is simply a picture of me.
I am dressed. I am smiling. I am outside. I look put together.
But when I look at this picture now, I see something very different. I see a woman who was carrying more weight than she realized. Not just physical weight.
Life weight. Leadership weight. Business weight. Responsibility weight.
At that point in my journey, I was carrying the responsibility of keeping a business going. I was wearing multiple hats, making decisions, meeting the needs of clients, managing day-to-day operations, showing up in rooms where leadership was required, and trying to make sure everything—and everyone—had what they needed.
And like many leaders, I kept going.
I knew how to delegate. I knew how to organize. I knew how to solve problems. But there is something that happens when you are under pressure and simply trying to stay afloat.
Even the things you normally do well can become difficult. Delegation can feel impossible because you think, “It will be faster if I just do it myself.”
Asking for help can feel like admitting you cannot handle what you were called to do. Stepping away can feel irresponsible because there is always something else that needs your attention.
So you keep carrying.
And carrying.
And carrying.
Until eventually, the weight begins carrying you.
THE WEIGHT YOU DON'T SEE
The weight I gained during this season was the most physical weight I had experienced outside of pregnancy. And it was not because I was simply overeating or neglecting myself.
For me, there was a deeper story.
Stress. Pressure. Responsibility. Constant problem-solving. The mental load of trying to keep things moving. My body was experiencing what my mind had been trying to manage. Eventually, that physical weight contributed to health challenges that forced me to pay attention.
And I had to ask myself a question that leaders do not always want to ask:
What is the cost of continuing to carry everything?
We talk often about the cost of failure. The cost of bad decisions. The cost of employee turnover. The cost of missed opportunities. But what about the cost of leadership that slowly consumes the person doing the leading?
What happens when the work we are doing begins to affect the physical frame we need to continue doing the work? That question changed something for me.
THE MIRROR MOMENT
Sometimes you don't recognize the weight you're carrying because you have become accustomed to it.
You know you're tired, but you call it a busy season.
You know you're overwhelmed, but you call it leadership.
You know you need help, but you convince yourself that you can push through one more week.
You know something has changed, but you keep moving because there is simply too much to do.
Until one day, you look in the mirror and realize: I don't recognize myself anymore.
That moment can be painful.
But it can also be an invitation.
An invitation to stop. To pay attention. To ask for help. To make a hard decision. To step away long enough to regroup.
And sometimes, to redefine what success actually looks like.
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