The faith in myself has been tested over and over. It is not in the celebration and good times that we know our strength and value, it is in the hard times. The tests and challenges. The greatest faith is found in BETWEEN the blessings.
Several years ago, at a time in my life when I had a 6 figure income flowing, taking vacations when I wanted, a red carpet social life, etc. I was standing in my kitchen and found I could not breathe. I was shaking, spinning and my heart was racing. This was my first account with an anxiety attack.
Seemingly out of the blue, a flood of thoughts came into my mind: What if I can't pay my bills? What if I don't have any more work? When will I be able to stop working? Will I be caught in this cycle all of my life? Will I be alone forever? What if I get sick and can't work? How can I keep this up?
This experience was nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea I was experiencing anxiety.
I found these symptoms for anxiety on a website 'Make the Connection'
A wide variety of symptoms may be signs of an anxiety disorder, some of which may be physical symptoms:
* Pounding or racing heart
* Sweating or cold, clammy hands
* Feeling jumpy or restless
* Trembling, twitching, or shaking
* Having a hard time catching your breath
* Feeling a fullness in the throat or chest
* Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
* Having stomachaches or nausea
* Having trouble falling asleep or getting a good night's rest
You might also have symptoms that impact your emotions, thoughts, or behavior, like:
* Feeling restless
* Feeling on edge or keyed up
* Being angry or irritable
* Worrying a lot about everyday decisions
* Fearing that something bad is going to happen
* Becoming easily distracted
* Having difficulty concentrating
* Feeling like your mind goes blank
* Finding it hard to do your work or normal activities
* Focusing on what isn't going well or what could go wrong
* Frequently avoiding certain places or things
* Drinking or using drugs to numb your feelings
Several times throughout the years I have had paralyzing episodes of anxiety. If you can relate to these feelings, it can be terrifying. I thought it was standard or normal stress I was experiencing or nervousness. No. This was beyond the scope. I was fearful of going into public, I was afraid of talking about what I felt as I thought I was losing my mind and people would think I'm crazy. I was never diagnosed. I suffered in silence... an suffered I did.
Only until recently (and if you read my newsletter weekly, I talked about this before) did I realize it was anxiety.
As you know, I am the founder of The Wellness Universe and as a project made up of many moving parts: our community, a website, a blog, a webinar platform and live event company, I have a tremendous responsibility to manage and support so many moving parts. Daily I am operating at maximum capacity, supporting this venture financially, emotionally, physically and committed to the amazing people who are working in their purpose to make the world a better place. If you are an entrepreneur, you may understand what I go through. If you are employed by a company, think of what it would take to operate the entire company you work for. It's overwhelming and normally, I manage my anxiety and can cope and get lots done, until last week.
I live between Portugal and NJ (yes another complication adding to my mix) and as I was in Portugal I received news my home in NJ was flooded. Anyone who has gone through a devastation you could not control and more so, could not remedy as you are far away, is one of the most helpless feelings in the world.
My story is long and I want to share my lessons and what I learned with you so I will continue this next week. In the meantime, I could use your prayers and I send to you blessings for a week filled with peace, joy, health and abundance. The amazing thing about awareness is, I will always have the energy to send you blessings. I am grateful to be aware and think limitlessly for the sake of the greater good and for you to live your best life.
Meanwhile, I wanted to share a few resources if you experience stress, anxiety or panic:
1. My Dear Friend (in Real Life) Allison Kugel - who is a Celebrity Publicist, Celebrity Journalist and much more, reveals her struggle with anxiety in her book:
: A memoir of a life unhinged and on the record. I am so proud of her bringing her true story to light. It took her several years to complete it as she struggled with HER truth and revealing it for us all to benefit from. Allison's memoir is a must-read, both, for pop culture fans who want the inside scoop on the world of celebrity journalism, and for anyone who has been touched by
anxiety, panic attacks and OCD
. I highly recommend getting it as you will be inspired through her achievements, anything is possible through your suffering my Friend.
2. My Friend
uses Sound Wellness to help you ease through your life. Please check her out.
3. My Friend
also helps with stress and chronic pain. She is an amazing human being who overcame so much and healed herself and now works to heal humanity.
Sending my love