"Menty b" – a nickname for a “mental breakdown” – has become a popular way to refer to a breakdown in one’s mental health due to a stressful situation. A particularly bad day at work or of parenting, Nicole Kidman’s AMC ad, doom scrolling, a missed meal—so many things can be deemed a “menty b.” Essentially, any situation prompting a "menty b" can include rumination, stress, anxiety, and anger/frustration. The difference between crisis and a “menty b” is that a “menty b” is something less than a full meltdown or crisis (see this Mental Health Moment to learn more about crisis situations and how to get help). According to the Wall Street Journal, the hashtag #mentyb has been used more than 16.7 million times on TikTok. It is more commonly said in videos on both TikTok and Instagram.
The language of mental health and the way we talk about it is always evolving. The language you use can help people understand those with mental health conditions. It can also help people understand, care for, support and raise awareness about treatment. Although the term “menty b” may seem flippant since emotional breakdowns are a real and serious thing, it is a way to open conversations about mental health. It’s an easier way to talk about mental health and can help people feel less alone.
So, what can you do if someone shares with you that they’re having a "menty b?"
Show up. Be present. Acknowledge they are going through a hard time.
Listen without judgment while validating their emotions. Don’t try to solve anything. Practice active listening and give them your full attention.
Hold space. Make room for others to feel all they need to feel. Donate your heart and ears to someone fully, practicing empathy and allowing for them to just be.
Ask questions like, “How long have you been feeling this way?” or “How can I support your needs today?”
It’s also important to recognize that a mental health crisis is any situation in which a person’s feelings or behaviors put them at risk of hurting themselves or others or prevent them from being able to care for themselves. Many situations, like the ones we’ve named above, can contribute to someone experiencing a mental health crisis and take many forms with varying signs and symptoms. No one sign identifies a person experiencing a crisis or at risk of suicide. So, it’s important to know the warning signs, take them seriously when you see them and know when to get help. Some signs to look out for include:
- Feeling sad, withdrawn or unmotivated for more than two weeks
- Making plans of trying to harm or kill oneself
- Inability to perform daily tasks
- Drastic changes in personality, mood and/or behavior
- Rapid mood swings, increased energy level, inability to stay still, pacing
- Suddenly depressed or withdrawn, or suddenly happy or calm after a period of depression
- Withdrawal from friends, family and normal activities
- Increased agitation or violent or out-of-control behavior
- Increased substance use
- Sense of utter hopelessness and helplessness
We all experience a “menty b” from time to time. Still, it may be time to seek professional help if you notice one or more of these signs and they are constant or apparent most of the time, last for two weeks or longer and/or are negatively affecting your daily life. It's important to be able to recognize when a mood or behavioral change has become more than a temporary thing.
You’ve got this, and we’ve got you. You can call or text 988 or call 913-268-0156 if you or a loved one are experiencing a mental health crisis, including risk of suicide, self-harm, or substance use, and a trained crisis counselor will be available to provide support and resources. If someone is an immediate danger to themselves or others, please call 911.
