ISSUE 43                                                                                                                                                                                        JANUARY 2020
January, like September, returns us to routine while carrying a feeling of newness. We may not all make formal goals or resolutions. Yet, few among us do not harbor some hidden hope for something we hope to do, change, acquire or experience this year. Maybe as we are semi-consciously forming our plans of who we will become and the life we will lead, we would be wise to remember  Charles Bukowski's question, "Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"
 
January's theme of integrity - the practice of living undivided - invites us to do just that. Who are you at your core? What are your values?
 
As So-Young Kang offered in a Huffington Post article, integrity is a word often misused and its fullness ignored. I ntegrity derives from the Latin word 'integer' which means whole and complete. Thus, it requires an inner sense of 'wholeness' and consistency of character. When you are in integrity, people should be able to visibly see it through your actions, words, decisions, methods, and outcomes. When you are 'whole' and consistent, there is only one you. You bring that same you wherever you are, regardless of the circumstance. You don't leave parts of yourself behind.
 
With so many demands upon us, this can be daunting. Where do we get to practice being whole?
 
I'm grateful to say that our church is one such place. Specifically, our Going Deeper groups. Certainly such groups are a great chance to meet a smaller segment of our church, as well as experience the group's wisdom on each theme. Yet, more than that, these groups give you a chance to speak from your soul (heart/inner wholeness) rather than your role (parent or job title).
 
I participate in two such groups myself each month with ministers from elsewhere in the country. It gives us a chance to be and share and discover and uncover who we are and who we were before and beyond ministry. We get to interrogate our own living to name where we may be falling short of living whole and consistent.
 
The stories of how this ministry has shaped and moved people are bountiful. Yet, they are not mine to share. More to the point, I would rather you hear from the people in our congregation who have benefitted from "Going Deeper." To that end, once a month, one of our Chalice Lightings will be offered by a Going Deeper participant. You won't want to miss it.
 
Here's to a year of wholeness where we celebrate each of us and all that each of us brings.
 
Happy New Year!
Did you know that you have two entirely different kinds of DNA in your body? Nuclear DNA & mitochondrial DNA both exist in almost all the cells in your body, and both are essential to your life, and the life of all advanced creatures on the planet, from yeast to cactus to whales. The thing that most amazes me about this fact is that for more than a billion, and perhaps as much as two billion years, all life on earth was nothing more than single cell organisms. But somewhere along the way two different single celled organisms got integrated into one.

We don't know exactly how it happened, or exactly when, but what we do know is that one result of this joining of different organisms was that each could specialize a little more, without giving up their own DNA. Now mitochondria work as the powerhouses of our cells, generating the resources that are needed to move forward many of the reactions in our bodies, and the bodies of all the animals and plants we see. Until they integrated with one another, they were all stuck doing everything themselves, but once they joined together, they were able to focus in on what they were good at, and together build something unimaginably more complex than they would have been able to do on their own.
Just as our bodies are made of different kinds of tissue and organs, so too are our cells, and that kind of specialization in partnership isn't just about cells, it's a powerful metaphor for communities and organizations, from football teams to countries to churches. The body is an ancient metaphor for the church, and just as a functioning body is made of many wonderful, and different pieces, so are thriving groups that change the world.

It's for just that reason that I have never understood people who want to live in a place where everyone is the same, or go to a church where we all believe the same things, or have the same skills. A whole church, wholeness being the very essence of integrity, means so many different people who each hold a part of the puzzle of who we are and what we do. What great news! You don't have to do it all, just do your part. Or, as Edward Everett Hale put it,

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

My hope for you is that you find the way you need to be integrated in the life of our community, at church, in Jeffco, in your family, and do the something you can do, whether you're called to be a nucleus, a ribosome, a mitochondria or one of the other many parts it takes to make a whole.
In This Issue
The Auction is Coming!
As we near the end of the holidays, we start to anticipate what's coming in the New Year.  

You guessed it: the Annual JUC Auction! This year's theme centers around our hopes for our new church space. Get ready for the unveiling coming to your inbox in January. Want to help with the planning? Please contact Sarah Babcock.  
Awe and Planned Giving
Estate planning can be awesome. It is an awesome gift to our loved ones, personal representative, friends and causes we support. When we make our desires and plans known, it is easier to communicate them and define clear steps to be carried out when we pass on.

The details can be awesome to us when we begin the plan.  Fortunately, we can educate ourselves and enlist any needed expertise when we begin this task well before we need it. Doing a new one or reviewing an existing one may be a good New Year's resolution.

An estate plan helps contribute to the integrity in our lives. It allows us to be good stewards of our possessions and pass our legacy on to future generations.

It would be awesome if you included JUC as a beneficiary in your estate plan. 

Contact JUC's planned giving coordinators: Bud & B.J. Meadows , Mike Kramer or Carol Wilsey
Welcome to January 2020 and our monthly theme of integrity. January also marks six months that I have served JUC as Director of Religious Education. It has been an incredible six months. There have been lovely events, so much learning, and a few changes along the way. While considering integrity, I have noticed my heart leaning towards reflection while preparing for the second half of my first year. Reflection on how Unitarian Universalism guides integrity, how we support it through our programs and create opportunities for it to manifest in our lives.

I believe integrity has so very much to do with Unitarian Universalism's religious education. UU religious education is where our children and youth have the opportunity to explore and develop their own moral compass guided by our  7 UU Principles. Unlike many other faith traditions, we do not tell our children what to believe, yet we do provide them the container to develop, support, and nurture their growing beliefs. We are here to create opportunities and provide the resources for their belief systems to form integrity. 

Inside the loving hands of JUC's religious education program, this development begins as early as nursery and preschool, where a safe and nurturing atmosphere is provided, celebrating the worth and dignity of every child. Kindergarten through Fifth Graders are experiencing a new approach to learning this year. Each class has centers that speak to more individualized kinds of learning: Head (mind), Heart (Soul), Hands (Body) Centers allow our grade-schoolers to explore learning in ways that speak to them through creativity, movement, and reflection. Some of these lessons have included teaching our young people to speak out against injustices using the example of Rosa Parks, caring for our earth by learning about JUC's sustainability practices, quieting minds and bodies through meditation and the practice of Enso paintings, and participating in a land recognition of the Arapaho Indian tribe before Thanksgiving.

Neighboring Faiths have supported our 6th graders in developing a wider understanding and stronger compassion of the world around them in their journey through world religions. They have visited a Jewish Temple, a Muslim Mosque, and a Catholic church so far this year. JUC's Our Whole Lives program continues with its comprehensive healthy sexuality program for 7th graders, as well as finishing their 1st-grade celebration/graduation, and will begin the 4th and 5th-grade session in January. 

JUC's Coming of Age teens have begun their mentor journey where they will be delving deeper into our UU 4th Principle: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning. And speaking of principles, just last month, our COA class took a closer look at the proposed UU 8th Principle, which they voted on during class. You can find out more about the proposed 8th Principle  here. Our high school youth group (YRUU) is growing and on some Sundays overflow upstairs. Say hello if you see them up in the chapel! Currently, they are discerning their impact on the world they live in by choosing a social justice project.

When I consider integrity, I see it being manifested in our programs as our children and youth learn and develop their UU values supported by our principles. I experience it in the teachers, mentors, and advisors that dedicate their love and talents and are united in JUC's mission. I feel the heart of integrity in the Family Ministry Team that is here to serve the JUC families. Integrity is alive in our class covenants guiding us in how we are going to be in community with one another. Yes, we may need to return to the promises we make when things get complicated but isn't learning how to return to wholeness, one of the most important lessons of integrity? 

Thank you for the love and support you have offered over the last six months. I look forward to many more anniversaries with Jefferson Unitarian Church. And for this month's theme, may we stretch and draw close as we move to embrace integrity in our lives.
Capital Campaign Milestones in 2020!!
JUC's Board of Trustees has set a goal to raise $4 million for the swap/purchase of Lakewood Church of the Nazarene. 

The Capital Campaign co-chairs, Dea Brayden and Carol Wilsey, are gathering a team to begin a two-phase campaign after the holidays.  

Phase one begins in early January with the Foundation Level, members and friends who plan to give $10K or more over three years. The Foundation Level phase will last from January through February.

On Saturday, February 29 , we'll LEAP into phase two, the larger campaign for the full congregation. Not wanting to let an extra day go to waste, we're planning a fun kickoff event for everyone on Leap Day! This phase of stewardship visits and pledges will last from March through April.  

After we add up all our generous pledges, the Board will schedule a congregational vote sometime between mid-May and mid-June so we can decide if we're moving ahead with the church swap/purchase.   

It is no exaggeration to say this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Moving to this larger space will allow us to be more and do more, both for ourselves, and for those we haven't even met who are hungry for a community like ours. Start thinking of what you can give over the next three years, and then think about stretching a little more. And know that whoever you are, whatever your circumstances and what you decide to give, we are grateful for your contribution.
 
Safety while here at church is a priority for us. We have a Safety Team (Rev. Eric, Carol Wilsey, Jules Jaramillo and Nick Rogall meet regularly and we call in volunteer help/expertise as-needed). Each of us has attended at least one training offered by the Jeffco Sheriff's office or other community groups.
 
Here are some important things to remember about safety here at JUC:
  1. Wash your hands frequently, especially as we move into cold and flu season. Don't come to church if you or your children are ill.
  2. If someone is experiencing a heart incident, we have a defibrillator in the north commons (in a white cabinet on the wall just next to the welcome table). While it is nice to have training, the unit has very simple instructions and provides audio commands so it can be used without prior practice. Never hesitate to call 911. The firefighters do not mind coming to check on someone.
  3. First Aid kits are located throughout the campus in each classroom and in common areas.
  4. If you light a chalice for a gathering, please remember to extinguish it, and don't leave matches within reach of children. 
  5. In the case of a fire, alarms will sound throughout the campus. If this happens, exit and move away from the building. The children will also be exiting under the capable leadership of their teachers. In the event of an evacuation, look for your child(ren) outside. Please do this even if you know it is a drill or the alarm has been set accidentally. Fire extinguishers are located in several areas of the church. Take a look around so you know where they are.
  6. Watch for icy spots when we have precipitation and cold weather. We do the best we can to clear sidewalks and entrances, but mother nature sometimes has the upper hand.
  7. Be cautious of uneven walking surfaces.
  8. Drive slowly and carefully in the parking lot - especially when it is full. If you are walking, make sure the driver of any moving vehicle can see you. It's better to be a little late for the service than to have an accident.
  9. Use caution when entering or leaving the parking lot. Traffic sometimes is moving very fast on 32nd Ave.
  10. Avoid bringing food with peanuts to campus. This is dangerous for people with severe allergies.
What about violence? That is the most frightening and unpredictable situation to imagine here in our beloved and sacred space. Here is advice gleaned from some of the training sessions we have attended:
  1. See Something - Say Something, Hear Something - Do Something. This is not about how someone looks, it's about behavior. If a person is nervous, angry, sneaky, sweating, or evasive, it is okay to tell someone. Note that this might not be a stranger. If someone you know shows a change in behavior let someone know. If you see a suspicious object, tell someone. Go to the Commons Coordinator or any staff member. Ushers, greeters and others can keep an eye on someone and/or escort them out if necessary. It is okay to call 911.
  2. Run, Hide, Fight - If violence is occurring, the Sheriff's office says these are your choices. There is no way to say which response is the correct one, you would have to decide depending on the situation. If you can escape and/or help others to escape, do so. Hiding until the situation is resolved is also valid. A bystander charging and overcoming a violent person can be a successful strategy, but this should be a last resort, and only if your life is in imminent danger. We can't tell you exactly what to do if something happens, but maybe thinking about it in advance may make you feel more secure.
The Sheriff encourages us to have an ongoing relationship with their office and deputies. We do call them occasionally, and they know our facility.
 
There's an old song with the lyrics:

May the life I've lived speak for me.
When I get to the end of my road
And I lay down my heavy load
May the life I've lived speak for me.

At this time of the changing of the year, a season of reflection both for the past and future, it can be helpful to connect with deepest values and aspirations. The month of integrity at Jefferson Unitarian Church invites a making whole, a bringing of one's actions and hopes together as one. 

In the Harry Potter series, "he who shall not be named" chose to separate parts of his soul through acts of violence. In the story Lord Voldemort splits his very being, attempting to become immortal and sequestering bits of himself in horcruxes. The process of choosing dis-integration leaves Voldemort as a bringer of terror in magical and muggle worlds.

Unitarian Universalist Minister Rebecca Parker enjoins us to make a different choice:

Your gifts-whatever you discover them to be-
can be used to bless or curse the world.
The mind's power,
the strength of the hands,
the reaches of the heart,
the gift of speaking, listening, imagining, seeing, waiting
Any of these can serve to feed the hungry,
bind up wounds,
welcome the stranger,
praise what is sacred,
do the work of justice
or offer love.
Any of these can draw down the prison door,
hoard bread,
abandon the poor,
obscure what is holy,
comply with injustice
or withhold love.
You must answer this question:
What will you do with your gifts?
Choose to bless the world.
...the choice will draw you into community,
the endeavor shared,
the heritage passed on,
the companionship of struggle,
the importance of keeping faith,
the life of ritual and praise,
the comfort of human friendship,
the company of earth
the chorus of life welcoming you.
None of us alone can save the world.
Together-that is another possibility, waiting

May this be a month - and a year - and a lifetime - of bringing all of the parts of you together, of becoming who you want to be in the world, and living a life that speaks and sings and echoes with who your very soul is.
 

Integrity is an appropriate and fitting topic for us to visit this January. We've pressed through the holidays past the overwhelming onslaught of retailers preaching the sermon of commercialism. If only we find the perfect gift to reflect our appreciation and care of our loved ones; all will be well. We will be whole. It sounds absurd, yet I'm likely not the only one who's credit cards reflect this. 

Thankfully this isn't the only story. I know many at JUC have made the practice of generosity an important aspect of the holiday season. We have held in great esteem and practice our annual support of Family Tree, ADIVIMA and Family Promise. 

I feel generosity (in finance or time) is a critical aspect of Integrity. Integrity is a practice. I'm a parent of an 8-year-old. I find it an important responsibility to teach and model greater values this time of year. It is a substantial challenge to pivot the focus from anticipating opening the most wonderful perfect best gift in the world to a mindset focused on the underlying meaning. A gift is a sign of love and appreciation irrespective of the gift itself. For many, the gift of presence is paramount to anything that could hide under colorful paper and a bow. Grandpa doesn't want a tie and Grandma doesn't want another sweater  (unless you made it). So while the pressures around us leverage our own inadequacies and vulnerabilities how do we be whole? How do we build integrity? I suspect it is less of what we see in ourselves and what we have and more of what we do and are for others. When I think of those I consider integrous, they are genuine and reliable. I don't expect perfection, only honesty and presence. Let us be there for those we care about and stretch to broaden that circle. Paramount, may we see ourselves the way those we love see us. We are integrous, we are enough.
There is an Eastern parable that goes like this. Two self-aware pots were being used to carry water from a stream back along a path. One pot was cracked and leaked the entire time the water bearer walked home. Looking at the other pot, the cracked one couldn't help but feel inadequate as it arrived home each day with less water. The cracked pot apologized to the water bearer - why would they continue to use something broken to carry water?! The water bearer simply smiled and pointed to one side of the road, where flowers bloomed from the nourishment the cracked pot had been providing them.

This is the power of labels, both those we receive from others and those we give to ourselves. Our friendly talking pot thought it was broken and therefore could not see the gift it was giving to the ground below it. It constrained the pot's view of who it was. And just as labels have the power to limit us, they also have the power to free us. Terms like "neurodiversity" and pronouns like "they/them or ze/zir" give people the words to name their truest self. Perhaps if our pot called itself different rather than broken, it would have been able to see the way its water brought life to the flowers and grass.

Integrity is tied up in our labels. It is nigh impossible to live in this world without using these words to describe us and those around us. We can become conscious of the labels we use though. Examine the words that pop into your mind to describe yourself. What are they? Who gave them to you, or did you give them to yourself? Are they pointing to who you truly are? If so, how? 

While labeling our days "January 2020" is a purely human construction (my dog Scooter certainly doesn't understand how these days are different from the past days), it does remind us to pause and take stock of who we are and where we are going. 

We know that this year is an election year and that we have an opportunity to come together to vote our UU values and encourage others to do the same. We know that many crucial issues are being decided locally and nationally. We are called to speak up for people who are unable to speak for themselves and people of marginalized identities. As UU's, we are seekers of integrity. 

I would imagine most of us believe we have integrity, but every once in a while, we might catch ourselves acting out of line with our values. Just this morning I realized that I was telling someone else how something "should" be done at the same time as I was doing exactly what I was advising them not to do!

Parker Palmer said "I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it but to embrace all of it."

This quote reminds us that the pursuit of integrity is not always straightforward. While we are called to forgive and love ourselves, we also must remember to forgive and love those around us, even when they are acting out of integrity. This is the practice of being undivided.

How does that look in real life? 

It looks like people speaking up against injustice and oppression without malice or hate. It looks like taking a breath and making sure our responses are not just emotional reactions. It looks like setting healthy boundaries with our children or other family members without being hurtful or harmful. 

We might not always get it right, both individually and collectively, but we keep showing up and calling ourselves back into covenant.

While the world is brimming with suffering and injustice, it also needs our joy and hope. This is where our church community comes in. Not only do we come together to roll up our sleeves and get the work done, but we also come together as a community to celebrate our lives and our values as a people of integrity. 

While I will be in seminary in Chicago for most of January, I look forward to seeing how our exploration of integrity shapes conversations around the church and our ministries going into this new year.
 
Pastoral Care Team:  We Are Here for You
In our Pastoral Care Ministry we create a caring, equipping, and supportive ministry to give and receive care, and to grow our capacity to face life's challenges together.

Since September, we have supported 17 JUC families in a variety of ways. Volunteers from our JUCeHelpers list brought meals, and provided rides for many who otherwise would have struggled to even go home from rehab after being released from the hospital. Our memorial receptions team was with three families in November alone as they mourned the loss of a loved one, and will be with more as we companion members of our church who are grieving. Our card writers have sent about 40 notes of cheer, condolence, and encouragement. We've been busy indeed, and we love what we do.  

In addition to support for individual members facing challenges, we offer informative workshops, presentations, and support groups. These have included such topics as mental health, life decisions and planning, and understanding medicare. We hosted the first grief support group in many years, which filled up almost immediately, supporting people who had lost spouses, children, and parents with six weeks of space to mourn and process together.  Also, our Care Givers Support group organized after a workshop presented by a member of our Pastoral Care Team. They continue to provide each other support as they meet monthly.   

We believe that anyone can be a caring presence and help to someone in need. There are tools to help do that, even if it is parallel to our church structures. We host workshops and groups that help build skills for the things that make helping one another even more possible in these days. This February we're hosting a workshop on how to use the key online tools that can allow you to help coordinate care. We're also launching the second iteration of a short-term small group focused on questions of meaning and purpose in our older years, AgeSong.  On Friday, January 24 we are hosting an exploratory meeting for people 55 and up who experience loneliness, especially at dinner time, often after the loss of a loved one, to be with kindred spirits during that lonely hour of the day.

We have new events planned for this winter and spring that you may interest you. Look to your weekly JUC Connection for details.

As you can see, there are many ways the Pastoral Care Team supports our members.  If you would like to join our efforts, send an email to Deda Nelson, and someone from our team will get back to you.  If you or someone you know could use support provided by our Pastoral Care Team,  email:  [email protected]  or phone the on-call minister at 720-CHURCH9 or 720-248-7249.