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A Reflection From Rev. Elder Dr. Nancy Wilson
It is possible, very likely, that I met Steve Pieters when I was a child. Steve’s family owns a house on Highland Lake, in E. Andover, NH, just miles from where my grandparents lived. Steve’s family was there every summer, and we were there for a few weeks every year, and always went to Highland Lake several times.
Steve and I both remember that local kids, and tourists visiting family, like us, always played together at that small beach, catching tadpoles, and diving off the dock. We never asked each other’s names. We were just the right ages - Steve was a little younger than me, but older than my brother Dave. Steve and I both cherished the idea that somewhere back in our mystical past we had encountered each other.
I remember Steve from his earliest days in MCC, as a seminarian at McCormick Theological Seminary, his connection to Good Shepherd Parish and Rev. Ken Martin. Steve was part of a young generation of MCCers who found themselves in seminary and were coming out and looking for a place to serve openly.
Steve went to Hartford to pastor, and then came to Los Angeles in the early 80’s already struggling with health issues, not knowing what it was. LA was a center of MCC innovation, ministry, and energy. We were very optimistic, until we were shocked by the sudden emergence of this deadly virus.
Steve’s diagnosis came just as we were shifting, from GIRD to HIV/AIDS, was devastating. All around us, people were getting sick, and dying soon, and our churches struggled to understand how to care for the ill and dying and stay safe.
Steve took on the personal challenge to be completely transparent about his illness and to invite us to use him to understand what it felt like, how to deal with stigma, how to “keep on dancing.” Steve developed his own theology and practices around “Spiritual Strength for Survival,” which MCC published. Shortly after his diagnosis, Rev. Ken Martin audaciously invited him to preach the Easter Sermon at MCC in the Valley – which became a clarifying moment for Steve.
Steve’s memoir, which he did not live to see published, is entitled “LOVE is Greater Than AIDS: A Memoir of Survival, Healing, and Hope.” Steve threw himself into ministry, preaching, teaching, counseling others. Eventually, MCC hired him full time, for 10 years, to be our “Director of Field Ministry” for HIV/AIDS. We traveled together to Australia for the World Council of Churches Assembly and other conferences.
In the midst of battling AIDS himself, before protease inhibitors, Steve was constantly having to make decisions about treatment, nearly dying many times. He also threw himself into being that “poster child” for MCC’s theme, “God is Greater Than Aids.” Steve listened, and cared for MCC clergy who were HIV+ or who had been diagnosed with AIDS. He brought his “fairy wand” all over MCC and beyond. He was hope embodied for us.
He was the first person to openly challenge the Hollywood community to fight for their fellow actors and community, which they did.
He went to the White House, and helped start national religious AIDS organizations.
I have no idea how he did all of that and stayed alive. He did, mostly, let those of us who loved him help him, be with him. He never acted like he could do it all alone.
I was his pastor for about 10 years, and he supported me, as a pastor of a church with AIDS, but was not shy about challenging me if he thought I was slipping into denial, or not advocating enough. His honesty kept me on track many times.
Steve struggled to have a personal life, and to take care of himself. He struggled with, and finally achieved sobriety. The Gay Men’s Chorus of LA, became a lifesaver and special community for him. He had the most interesting, diverse group of friends who helped him laugh and live.
He wrote and spoke, as one of the very first clergy people with AIDS who would be open, not self-hating, optimistic.
When he was first diagnosed, my wife Paula was editing MCC’s Journey Magazine, and pushed Steve to write about his experience, which he did through many issues of the magazine that are now in the Smithsonian.
His most famous interview was with Tammy Faye Bakker, immortalized on the screen last year in a film starring Jessica Chastain, who won an Oscar for her performance. She said that the interview with Steve, faithfully recreated, was the turning point in the film, and what made her choose to take the part.
When they started filming, the producers did not know Steve was still alive. Jay Bakker, Tammy Faye’s son, assured them he was, that he was in touch with Steve, in fact. As then located Steve, it then propelled him into another era of being a celebrity, which, for someone always so starstruck was pure joy.
Steve was in touch with so many people, in a generous, loving way. He never disguised his challenges, his own sorrow or grief, but allowed us to see someone who lived through all of that victoriously, humbly, with faith.
This last occurrence of cancer seemed very serious on the face of it. But like so many others, I was accustomed to Steve overcoming every challenge. So, his death though not a surprise, was a shock of sorts. Steve, early on, had really let go of his fear of death, and I take comfort in that, as I get older, and friends depart.
Steve saved many lives, and made others lives better, just by showing up. Including mine. Well done, my friend.
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