A Humorous Take on the

World of Sales and Management


Great salespeople make BS sound like rose food. Bad salespeople make sushi sound like cold dead fish. How good are you at describing YOUR offers?

Want to see how an everyday substance can sound either great or terrible?  Read on.....

Mike S.
Dihydrogen Monoxide

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound. Sometimes called "The Silent Killer", this substance causes thousands of people to die every year. More than lightning, airplane crashes, and shark attacks combined. 

Its overabundance causes thousands of people to lose their homes every spring and winter. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.

Research conducted by award-winning U.S. scientist Nathan Zohner concluded that roughly 86 percent of the population supports a ban on dihydrogen monoxide. Yet our spineless government stands by and refuses to act.

Physoderm Hydratic Emulsion

In contrast, PHE is a miraculous, gentle substance containing 100% natural ingredients. Physoderm Hydratic Emulsion contains hydrogen, the most common element in the universe, and life-giving oxygen, occurring in a natural two to one ratio.

PHE is completely PH balanced. There are absolutely no harmful acidic or alkaline toxins, no additives, and no wasteful byproducts. It is environmentally friendly. It's crystal clear and completely odorless.
PHE helps your skin stay moist and soft. Rub it gently into your skin and watch as your entire body takes on a glowing effervescence. It is an essential component of healthy living. Despite its miraculous health promoting properties, PHE remains remarkably affordable and widely available to even the poorest and most needy individuals.

DHMO & PHE = Water

You've figured out by now that both descriptions refer to the same substance, water.  All statements are 100% factual, but they use persuasive principles to manipulate your emotions and influence your conclusions. 
What's the "so what?" to this point? As salespeople, the ability to influence your prospect's opinions is of paramount importance.  No matter how logical and unemotional you think your customers may be, we are all affected by subconscious emotions that affect our opinions and decisions.

If you think "the solution speaks for itself", you are sadly mistaken. We all need to carefully craft our message and use our communications to appeal to unconscious as well as rational motivations.

Historical Example

Political mudslinging has been going on as long as we've had politics.  Here is a 100% true but highly misleading political statement made in the 1950 Senate primary by George Smathers about his opponent Claude Peppers:  

"Are you aware that Claude Pepper is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, he has a brother who is a known homo sapiens"


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Mike Schmidtmann
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