I confess. I’m in desperate need of a break.
This is different for me. I haven't been this open with myself before, but here I am, admitting that I’m not doing so well.
All my life, I’ve been driven and determined. I’ve pushed myself every single day. I’ve worked hard to get my name into rooms that some people don’t have the opportunity to be in. I’ve never once settled and if you ask me, there’s nothing I can’t do. I’m a go-getter, one that won’t take “no” for an answer and one that sees endless possibilities in what life has to offer.
But regardless of how driven or ambitious one may be in life, there comes a point in time when the dust settles and you’re left to face the true realities of life. And this is it for me. This is me coming to a perfect standstill and painfully, but honestly admitting that I’m completely tired, exhausted and uncomfortable in my own body. All year long, I told myself to keep going, that nothing was going to stand in my way of success. But here I am, unable to push myself any further, with no stamina left. I took on way too much within the last year and half and I didn't give myself the time nor space to breathe. I’m completely worn out.
To add to that, I’m bracing myself for more life changing events coming up this fall and if I’m being totally honest, I’m not handling the thought of it very well. I’m not sure how much my body can take at this point, in its current state of pain. I’m also needing to speak to my nutritionist because as much as I have been consistent with working out, I haven’t lost a single pound. I know I should be easy on myself since my body has been through quite a lot, but it’s frustrating. I feel so uncomfortable. The most basic movements leave me in pain and I hate it. My nutritionist will educate me on the types of foods to eat that will help restart my metabolism. I seriously need this to work out because I don't have a back-up plan. I’m going in with the mindset that whatever solution(s) she comes up with will work in my favour. It may very well be that the changes I experience won’t be drastic, but at least I will be able to learn lessons that I can apply to the rest of my life. I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I need to pause and reset.
There are days when the thought of whether or not I feel guilty for needing a break has crossed my mind. The answer is no. I do not feel guilty at all. I still have my goals and I’m a strong believer in resetting these goals to fit my circumstances. My current circumstance is that my body is sending me warning signs. It’s telling me to slow down. There’s no point in me trying to run a marathon, knowing fully well that the best I can give at this moment is 10K. My new goal just becomes 10K and I have to remind myself that my best today may not be my best tomorrow or my best the day after. And that is OK.
I’ve decided that for the rest of this year, I’m going to wind things down a bit and slow down the pace. The plan is to step into 2022 with a more practical approach. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still be booked, busy and blessed but I’ll be booking more time for myself, being less busy and still getting the blessings!
Life isn’t a competition. It’s OK to be ambitious, driven and determined, but just not at the cost of your health or sanity. I’m taking this time to slow down, carve out more time for myself and do the things that genuinely make me happy. And I’m hoping this will prompt you to take a step back, be honest with yourself and re-evaluate your life and goals.
Phew, I really needed this.
On a side note, the Breast Cancer walk is coming up tomorrow. Our team has raised over $1,000 in donations so far, which is pretty good. It’s kind of difficult with it being virtual because I raised more when it was in-person. But that’s OK. Every bit counts and I thank you for your support and donations! Feel free to register or donate here if you’d still like to be a part of our team.