I love the Exactor!
That’s something I never thought I’d say. The Exactor—that scolding voice, perched on my shoulder, to remind me how terrible, incompetent, silly I am. The voice that aligned with my soon-to-be ex-husband against me time after time.
I came to the Wendt Center because I knew I needed to find my strength in order to end a three-year marriage characterized by manipulation and abuse. I came to the Wendt Center, in the midst of court proceedings, major financial decisions, and grieving the life I’d hoped for, because I felt broken.
All the while, the Exactor was there in the back of my mind, undermining, judging. Until…
I don’t know how it happened—but, somehow, as I sat on a plush couch, surrounded by pillows, flowers, and colorful stenciled butterflies at the Wendt Center, my therapist noticed the intrusive voice of the Exactor. She noticed how that voice seemed ready to tear me down. And she observed how the Exactor’s keen awareness and intelligence could serve functions other than criticism.
Together we explored how the Exactor’s voice is just a facet of my inner voice—and how such a strong voice can be an asset. Now, as I continue to confront the challenges of restoring my confidence after a traumatizing relationship, as I build a new life for myself, I recognize ways the Exactor can be an ally.
Thanks to the hard work I’ve done at the Wendt Center with my insightful therapist, the Exactor has a new job. Its voice now mentors me. It tells me I am strong and capable. It helps me see more clearly when making financial decisions, organizing complicated records, and undergoing court proceedings.
No longer does the Exactor hover over me. Now we walk hand-in-hand.
I left my session at the Wendt Center last week, with my head held high, more self-possessed than I can ever remember. There are many challenges ahead, but with the insights I’ve gained through the work I’ve done with my therapist at the Wendt Center, and, the Exactor now on my side, I believe I will be okay.