I am American, originally with a background in biotechnology. After happily working in a research lab for a few years I found myself with a touch of wanderlust.  A few jobs later, I decided it was time to learn how to network and see if I could actually go overseas to work in public health. 

Just as Obama was thinking about dropping bombs in Syria in late 2013, I accepted a job working with Syrian refugees in Za'atari Refugee Camp a few kms south of the Syrian boarder.  At the time, Za'atari was the second largest refugee camp in the world with around 100,000 people in an area a little over 3 km sq, and it had a tough reputation for protests, vandalism and violence.  

I was to be managing two large programs: one promoting good hygiene behaviors to prevent hygiene-related illnesses and the other to mobilize the community around water, sanitation and social issues.  My family and most of my friends thought I was crazy and they seemed to feel that I was abandoning them in accepting the job.  When I paused to think about it, I had some serious doubts about myself as well.  I had never done anything remotely close to the scale of this new job.  I didn't speak Arabic and I knew very little about the Middle East and the Syrian crisis.  And I was distancing myself from a wonderful, loving husband.  On the other hand it wasn't even a decision; it felt like what I was supposed to do.  And deep down I knew that if I didn't, I would always wonder about the path not taken.  

So I moved to Jordan.  I lived in a small town 10 km outside the camp.  I spent 6 days a week in the camp and many hours outside of that working to contribute to strategies, responding to questions, trying to start new projects and partnerships with other organizations in the camp, learning how budgets work and dealing with bizarre HR situations.  I was responsible for an unbelievable amount of work as it turned out I was actually replacing two people.  And then my boss got seriously ill and named me as officer in charge.  I was stressed a lot.  I grew and changed a lot.  I had to figure out how to handle so many things that I had no idea about in the moment.  And, I loved it! 

My teams for those two programs were a mix of Jordanians and Syrians.  I was challenged but eventually accepted by most of them.  They invited me for lunch and tea in their homes both inside and outside the camp.  Some of the Syrians started to share their stories from the war with me.  We all shared in the struggles of the camp together; freezing temperatures and flooding in the winter.  The people in the camp had decided not to use public toilets and instead built makeshift pit latrines which drained to the open ground, so flooding is not just muddy storm water - it is mixed with all the raw sewage.  Rodents outnumbered refugees, there were scabies and lice outbreaks, dust storms, heat, and not enough water in the summer.  

Refugees rightfully protested about conditions but at the same time seemed to undermine everything the aid workers tried to do to correct the situation.  Tensions rose and fell with the battles going on in Syria.  People on my teams would find out in the middle of the day that the families they left behind had just been killed in a bomb explosion.  I watched them pick each other up and become each other's new, replacement families and my new brothers and sisters.

After about 9 months, I was poached by my current boss.  It was an agonizing decision to leave those teams that I had become so integrated with, but at the same time the new boss was offering the mentorship I craved and guidance I needed.  Much of the work was to be the same except on a smaller more controlled scale and I would be officially responsible for some of the bigger picture things like negotiating with one of our big donors for program funding.  So I made the switch.  

I still work a lot but I also get a good part of most weekends off.  I live in Amman now and commute 90 mins each way to the camp every day.  But I can be outside in some areas after dark, I can go to a nice grocery store for food and occasionally I have time to go out to dinner and even a movie!  Those are small things but they are a considerable help in maintaining balance and managing stress.  I am a little less connected to the Syrians but more connected to the Jordanians so I'm embedded in another new culture with a different world-view to explore.

My contract will finish at the end of March.  I'm trying to figure out the next step.  I know I am exhausted in the camp.  My boss offered to let me open some projects in the recently liberated (from Daesh/ the un-islamic state) areas in Kurdistan or to help me get a job with another organization.  I'd really like to go to Kurdistan but my mother is really uneasy about the idea.  So we'll see what comes next. 

There is a lot I have never really understood about money and the class helps me understand some of those concepts.  But more importantly it provides me with an alternative way to think about the social and economic structures around me , and how they are interconnected in ways I didn't expect.  I also enjoy thinking about what we discuss in class while I am witnessing the conversion of a refugee camp as it struggles to become a city.  The natural laws suddenly seem evident as people jockey to have the things that they need and want - including better incomes so they can improve their standard of living.  I enjoy our class because it helps me understand economics from a broad view and because it helps me see how I fit into the world.