TAKING CONTROL:

Building a mental tool kit, the road to a successful life

By Gordon Graham

Whatever our beliefs are there's one absolute truth - each of us has the capability to change our mind! This can be a temporary change because of external circumstances, or a permanent change to take back control of one's life.

In a free society there are rules and laws that protect the rights of the individual from those who choose to impose their will on the rights of others. We have laws that are designed to ensure these rights. If a law is unjust or applied unfairly we have a legal system that allows recourse for the offended. Unfortunately the laws may be unfairly enforced by circumstances or by intent. Nothing is perfect and nothing satisfies everyone.

Our criminal justice system, for as long as I have been around, has had a disproportionate number of African American and Latino inmates in relation to the population in our cities and states. There are a variety of advocacy groups, each with their own rationale for this discrepancy. Racial bias is at the heart of many arguments. Not being a sociologist, psychologist or a theologian, just a man who has spent 60 years caught up in this system, I would agree with the argument, with a qualifier: growing up in an environment without access to a quality education, few legitimate opportunities for employment, or where drugs and illegal activities offer the best option for making quick money, means that the color of a person's skin has little to do with the decisions a person makes. This does not ignore the fact that racial bias still exists in our society. When you have little to lose, an individual doesn't spend a lot of time weighing the consequences of an illegal act.

It's always been difficult for me to understand how we will spend $30-$40,000 tax payer dollars to put a person in prison for a year, when education and programs for prevention and working with youth struggle for survival. Fortunately however, there are a multitude of programs and advocates that keep plugging away in spite of the lack of support.

My trip last week was to Dubuque, Iowa, to speak to a group that assists people living in poverty with survival skills, and a place to live until they are back on their feet. Programs like this one generally survive because of someone with great heart and great staying power, like Carroll Clark. I met Carroll, administrator of the Dubuque program, twenty odd years ago. She still has the same burning desire to contribute to those in need and make a positive difference in her community. It's an honor to have the opportunity to offer my services to her group.

If I didn't have to make a living, this is how I would spend the rest of my life. However, I have great friends, like Cat and RJ, who help me do what I do best! My lovely wife Eve is also my best friend. Cathy Crosslin has been a partner and like a daughter over the years; Kate was my link to facilitators of our video products, and my go-to person for 25 or more years; and my many, many friends across and U.S. and Canada have made my life's journey a miracle. ...And it ain't over 'till it's over! I still have a lot to do before I cash in my chips!

Peace,  Gordy

Success Story: Pat Cushman from Midland, Michigan

Pat Cushman of Midland, Michigan is a recent graduate of our education, as well as a recently trained PX2 facilitator. He is also a key leader at Dow Chemical, but more importantly than all of that is that he is a father and a coach. Mr. Cushman applied this information to him first, and as a result, is influencing kids in an amazing way. Check out his story!

Here is a good one for you.  Among the balance wheel things that I identified in IIE was my coaching in baseball, and I had a target of winning the City Championship this year.  Got 'er done tonight.  I kept thinking all week about how I had to find ways to build up the kids and make them feel like champs before we ever played a game.  My pregame talk was all about how they should see what the end of the game would look like, how they would feel after.  What fun!! The kid in the catcher's gear is my youngest son Derek.