"When it comes to life," wrote G. K. Chesterton, turn-of-the-twentieth-century English author and critic, "the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude." Do you assume that the elements of your life have been produced by your own efforts and are therefore deserved? Or do you believe that they have been produced by the efforts of many others and have a mysterious goodness behind them? Do you see your life as humdrum and prosaic, or do you greet it with deep appreciation?

 

These questions assume a kind of attitude of gratitude. The word and the idea are as old as language, but it's only been in recent decades that researchers have begun to study gratitude. For a long time, psychologists and philosophers before them have been studying depression and mental illness, but in the middle of the 20th century scientists began to study positive emotions, and a discipline called "positive psychology" was born. There are some revealing studies on how gratitude contributes to physical and psychological health, how it strengthens relationships, builds self-esteem, enhances empathy, reduces aggression, and even helps you sleep better.

 

It's obvious

There is an odd thing about these studies -- they seem to confirm the obvious. In a study by Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, participants were divided into three groups. One group was asked each week for nine weeks to write five things they were grateful for. The second group was asked each week to write five things that hassled them. The third group was asked each week to write five things that had impact on them. The study showed that those who recorded their gratitude felt better about their lives, looked forward to the coming week with more optimism, reported fewer physical complaints, and spent more time exercising. These results are not surprising. Of course people who nurture their gratitude do better. Study after study reaches this conclusion. So what is gratitude?

 

It's not about you

Someone outside of yourself does something for you or gives you something, and you feel gratitude. You can't really be grateful to yourself. It's true that you can be glad for your own good actions. For instance, you can be pleased that you use good sense, or you work hard to earn a good salary, or you stand up for your convictions. But there is something missing here. Your attention is self-referenced. If you did it, there is no gift in it. It's about you. Gratitude is the response to something that comes as a gift from the outside.

 

So what happens to you when you are the recipient of a gift? Well, for one thing you do not control the moment. You are at the "mercy" of or "pleasure" of or subject to the "graciousness" of another. For some people this is hard. They want to control the ebb and flow of their lives. This is why some people are not good at receiving gifts. But if you are open to the gift, some good things follow. One of them may be surprise, because you were not expecting anything or for anything to happen.

 

The glue of community

Further, a gift reminds you that you are not alone. Someone else cares about you. We're talking here not just about special gifts but also simple, everyday acts like someone showing consideration for your busy schedule or remembering to ask about the illness of a loved one. When you are grateful, you affirm that you are connected to other people and that you need them. Gratitude is one of the glues of community.

 

It's almost too obvious to note, but a person who is radiating gratitude has an immediate, positive, and uplifting effect on a group of people. There may be cynics who will pooh-pooh someone with a grateful spirit and say the person doesn't see "reality," or is a "Pollyanna," but there is no getting away from the fact that genuine gratitude in such a person is contagious. There are few emotions more irresistible than a sudden exclamation of delight.

 

In 2010, two scholars, Adam M. Grant of the University of Pennsylvania and Francesca Gino of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, published a study titled "A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Pro-social Behavior." In the first experiment, participants were asked to help a student with a job application cover letter and then were asked to edit a second letter, which they were more willing to do if they were thanked for editing the first one. Both the first and second request and the thank you were all done by email. The second experiment, also by email, demonstrated that participants were more likely to help a second student with a job application cover letter if the first student thanked them. In the third experiment, Grant and Gino demonstrated that a group of university fundraisers made more fundraising calls if the director of annual giving thanked them for their work. In the fourth experiment, participants who edited the cover letter were visited personally by the student. Those who were thanked were more likely to edit a second cover letter than those with whom the student just discussed the weather. All four of these experiments confirm what we would have expected -- that gratitude "motivates pro-social behavior."

 

A strength and a virtue

For many years, psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers depended on resources called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the International Classification of Diseases to document and classify illness and dysfunction. Then one of them realized that they were describing and measuring only what was wrong with people, and not what was right. In other words, they weren't capturing data for people who were happy and living a good life.

 

So in 2004, a large group of scientists -- many in the area of positive psychology -- created an 815-page resource titled, Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. It is, as the editors call it, a "Manual of the Sanities."

 

The dimensions of gratitude

There is a whole chapter in CSV on gratitude. The writers suggest that gratitude is a "warm" feeling, and it is directed toward someone or some larger reality. And gratitude is "appreciation," which means there is gladness and pleasure in the feeling and a sense of rightness and goodness. You might say when it gets right down to it, it's hard to define gratitude, but you know it when you see it, and the reason may be that it is so basic to our human reality. Even an infant shows rudimentary gratitude in its pleasure at being fed, being held, being comforted, and being loved.

Another point CSV makes is that a desire to act flows from this warm appreciation and good will. This may seem less obvious. Can't you just be grateful without doing something? But even the experiments showed that gratitude makes you want to return the gift. Doesn't it sometimes even remind you that you could be more generous? Gratitude is not just a passive reaction; it stirs you to respond.

 

CSV further observes that a grateful disposition has facets. For some, gratitude is deep and intense. These people seem to live in a reality of gladness and gratefulness. For others, there is a question of frequency. They find many reasons, large and small, for being grateful. Then there is the span of gratitude. For these people, a grateful spirit is directed toward all they meet and no one is exempt. It peppers everyone and everything. They seem to be grateful for all people, things, and events of their life. Finally there is gratitude density, meaning some people sense that behind the obvious person or circumstance that produced the beneficial thing or moment is a larger circle or chain of people and circumstances.

 

Finally, the depth and intensity of one's gratitude may be shaped by what one knows about the giver or benefactor. If you know that the action or gift came from a deep love, a deeply gracious spirit, or a person of very little means, the gift may mean more and the gratitude may be deeper.

 

Can it be cultivated?

Its own reward -- and more

Many people might say that gratitude has its own reward. Each of us should have a grateful heart because it's the right way to live. But research seems to tell us that it's actually good for us. As we noted earlier, people who keep weekly gratitude journals exercise more regularly, report few physical symptoms, feel better in general about their lives, and are more optimistic. They seem to be more alert, enthusiastic, determined, attentive, and have more energy. They are more likely to help someone or offer emotional support. They are less likely to be depressed. They are even less likely to deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. They acknowledge the interconnectedness of life and tend to be more committed to and responsible for others. They are less prone to judge themselves and others on the basis of material success and more willing to share what they have. They are more open, more conscientious, and less neurotic. Studies seem to suggest that gratitude is correlated to changes in the cardiovascular and immune systems. Finally, grateful people might actually live longer.

 

So when you gather around the table this year at Thanksgiving, look around at your family and at the rich spread on the table, look back over the year, look inside yourself, look forward to the year ahead. Not everything you see will be good or welcome, but find the things that are, and think about them. For that moment, celebrate them. Look at the people in your life and instead of seeing their shortcomings be glad for their good qualities. For that moment and maybe for longer, you will become a better, nicer person; the world will look better and brighter, and you might even improve your health and lengthen your life.