14th May 2018
- International Men's Day
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Welcome to this special edition for International Boys' Day-16 May, brought to you by Dads4Kids.
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Frontline
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Earlier this year Dr Jerome Teelucksingh, my friend from Trinidad in the Caribbean, called for the inaugural celebration of International Day of the Boy Child on May 16. Dr Jerome Teelucksingh also founded
International Mens Day
. I suggested to Jerome for the sake of ease of communication that we shorten it to International Boys' Day or more colloquially just Boys Day.
Jerome said yes, and so the team at Dads4Kids helped create the artwork and build the website and get everything ready for the global launch last Friday. The historic inaugural observance of International Boys Day on May 16 is all about dedicating a special day of the year to focus on boys and their wellbeing just as
International Day of the Girl Child
does for girls.
International Boys Day
is a celebration of all the positive elements that boys bring to their families and communities, and a day to spend quality time with them doing fun activities. Boys Day also aims to bring awareness to the
challenges that boys face
as they grow up.
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| The Boy Crisis: Warren Farrell PhD.| TedxMarin |
So why do we need an International Boys Day? To put it bluntly, we are in the middle of a 'worldwide boy crisis' and no one seems to want acknowledge the problem. We must work together to do something about it.
Current research shows that boys:
- Are worldwide 50% more likely to fail meeting basic proficiency standards in reading than girls.
- Are 100% more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD compared to girls.
- Are more likely to be the victims of violent crime.
- Are severely behind girls in school grades. Boys take 70% of D's and Failed grades.
- Have a suicide rate four times higher than girls.
- Are 5 times more likely to end up in juvenile detention.
In a
media release
which has been sent out all over the world, International Boys Day founder Dr Jerome Teelucksingh said, "There is an urgent need to focus on the home and school as we save the boy child. If a boy child is neglected or fed a diet of hate and violence it is obvious he will develop into a teenager who is misguided and confused. And the next crucial transition into manhood will be even more difficult.
Our goal is that every boy will grow up to become a man of honor and integrity and be able to contribute in a vital way to his family, his community and his nation and be able to make the world a better place for boys and girls everywhere."
Jerome's words are very true. Interestingly, the International Day of the Girl Child was first celebrated by the UN in 2012,so we have a bit of catching up to do. Better late than never! Our intention is to inspire boys, families, communities and governments to engage and collaborate to address the issues our boys are facing. Positive male role models are critical for our boys' successful development and wellbeing. That's why the enthusiastic celebration of International Boys Day is so important.
Lovework
Fathers, family and the broader community play an important role in boys being happy and valued. There are a few ideas
on the website
for spending quality time with your boys that can be implemented anywhere, from a family gathering to a broader community event. Your boys will also have many suggestions themselves as to what they would love to do on their special day.If you are ambitious you could bring your community together by organising small park events with community leaders and local councils.
Obviously, we are pressed for time this year but why not put International Boys Day in the calendar for 16 May 2019. Feel free to use the
Boys Day Logo
in resources to create your event, whether on
Facebook
or otherwise. The aim is to create fun outdoor games and activities to celebrate International Boys Day. Whether it is a small group of family and friends or a larger community event, have fun with some of these
activity suggestions!
In particular we encourage you as a Dad to celebrate this historic inaugural International Boys Day event as best you can by doing something special with your son(s) this coming International Boys Day - Wednesday 16 May 2018. Boys love adventure, whether it be large or small, focus on making it fun.
Yours for Celebrating our Sons
Warwick Marsh
on behalf of International Men's Day from the team at Dads4Kids
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Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 42 years. He is the grandfather of eight grandchildren and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 36 years to 25 years. Warwick is a musician, writer, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.
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Too many of our boys are invisible and forgotten.
Each boy is important and in this race of life,
nobody should be left behind.
It is within this context that the
first observance of 'International Day of the Boy Child',
henceforth known as 'International Boys' Day'
will be observed on 16 May 2018.
Dr Jerome Teelucksingh
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Link of the Week
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Happy Mother's Day |
Grandfathers
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The traditional boy's journey to self-sacrifice
incorporated service to others,
and required responsibility, loyalty, honor,
and accountability.
It created his mission.
And his mission created his character.
Dr Warren Farrell & Dr John Gray
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Laughter
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Replies teachers didn't want!!
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U.
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar!!!
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Single Dads
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School principal Paul Tracey, and expert on boys' resilience and motivation Professor Andrew Martin, give their best ideas on helping boys to excel at school.
1. Good relationships are vital
If boys feel liked and respected, they'll respond in a really positive way.
"As a parent or caregiver, show that you respect and care for them, that you want them to do well, and you really like them," says Paul Tracey, principal at Callaghan College, Wallsend campus.
"For boys to be receptive to the positive messages we send them you've got to be on the same page and you've got to have credibility," adds Professor Andrew Martin, a research fellow with the University of Sydney's Faculty of Education and Social Work.
Characteristics of a good relationship
- Giving respect
- Showing patience
- Having a sense of humour
- Actively listening to them
- Knowing who they are, who their friends are, and what they like and dislike
- Seeing things from their perspective
2. Get involved in your son's homework
Sit down with your son and show interest in his homework, says Paul.
"It's not so much being able to do it, but being able to talk with them about what they're doing and to make sure it's seen as really important."
This makes boys feel like homework is worthwhile, which is great for motivating them.
3. Ensure your son goes to school every day
Research shows that school attendance has a critical role to play in a boys' academic success, Paul says. Children who miss out on eight days of school a term will miss a year's education by the time they finish primary school and not much less for high school.
"When a boy comes to school they are able to learn. If they stay at home, they can't. It's as simple as that," he says.
4. Ensure your son is learning using a variety of styles
Boys thrive when they are given opportunities to tap into the way they learn best, says Paul.
"As parents, we have to make sure that kids are being given possibilities to learn and get assessed in a whole variety of ways. If they're coming home with the same sort of projects, that would ring alarm bells for me," Paul says.
If his work is not varied, discuss with your son if there are options as to how the task can be done. The school's year adviser can also talk with you about ways your son can approach his learning.
Assignments using different learning styles
- Group projects
- Speeches
- Written stories
- Technology-based research, or building wikis or blogs
5. Keep an eye on technology use
With access to technology and laptops at school, boys have the opportunity to read and communicate using many different forms, but it doesn't mean technology should take over to the detriment of books, magazines and talking with people, Paul says.
"Parents need to ensure their boys don't spend too much time on the computer; there are other ways they can access information and communicate with people. That's one to really watch," he says.
6. Recognise the good things in boys' lives
Shutters come down fairly quickly if the first thing you do is point out negative aspects of your son's school life or behaviour, says Andrew, also author of How to Motivate Your Child for School and Beyond. Point out things that your son is doing well at school before moving to a specific area where they're not doing well.
"It's a nice way of saying you don't think the whole thing is going badly," he says.
7. Help boys experience success often
Boys love success, Andrew says.
"They gravitate to teachers where they experience competence and they gravitate to subjects where they feel better about themselves and their capacities."
When your son comes home with an assignment, suggest 'chunking' the project into smaller tasks so that he can experience 'mini successes' along the way.
Ways boys can achieve 'mini-successes' in their assignments
- Break the question into key parts
- Really understand each part
- Search for the information on the internet
- Visit the library for some good books
- Sort the information into major themes
Read more ways to help boys succeed at school
here
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All You Need is Love
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Am I an expert? No. Do Nick and I still have issues? Yes. But we are keenly aware of how important our relationship is to the health and well-being of our family as a whole, so we have always made us a priority. Here's how.
Before Nick and I decided to have Nora, he said, out of the blue one day, "I think we should have another baby. It will ruin our relationship, but I think we should do it."
I laughed, of course, but then I started thinking. Would having two kids ruin our relationship? Was it really a foregone conclusion? And why is it such a cliché that kids kill marriages? Is it because...it's true? A while back, while researching a story on the subject, I spoke with John Jacobs, M.D., a New York City couples therapist and author of All You Need is Love and Other Lies About Marriage. He said, "Couples often think that children solidify a marriage but the truth is they are a serious threat. The transition from couplehood to parenthood marks one of the greatest stressors on the life of a marriage." While that stress may dwindle over the years, it never completely goes away. And, says Jacobs, the wear and tear kids inflict on marriages is at an all-time high, thanks, in part, to helicopter parenting.
"We've become a society that is hyper-focused on the emotional well-being of our children," he says. "Sometimes too focused." It makes sense: The more time you spend on your kids, the less time you have to focus on the well-being of your spouse-and the well-being of your marriage.
Well, Nora is now three and while her arrival slowed us down a bit in the beginning, it certainly hasn't knocked us out. In fact, we're probably in better shape now than ever. We go on dates, we talk, we have a rich social life, we laugh a lot and have fun together, we even wait until the kids go to sleep so we can dine a deux many nights. I always thought that was just about us being food obsessed/selfish (we like talking to each other without having to spell every other word and we like to eat without stopping to clean up spilled milk or wipe butts), but it turns out we're on to something.
"The paradox is that the number one thing you can do for your children is to have a good marriage,"
says Jacobs. But how do we do it? How do we take care of our children, take care of ourselves, and connect as a couple? Lord knows there are days when just getting your brood to bedtime in one piece is a feat. Well, in honour of the upcoming "holiday," I thought it would be fun to share some of my favourite bits of advice-the little, somewhat un-PC-but-totally-doable things that keep my marriage going. Am I an expert? No. Do Nick and I still have issues? Yes. But we are keenly aware of how important our relationship is to the health and wellbeing of our family as a whole so we have always made us a priority. Here, in no particular order, 16 pieces of marriage advice I remind myself of as often as necessary...
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Special Feature
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By Dr Jerome Teelucksingh
The two observances,
International Men's Day
(19 November) and
Universal Children's Day
(20 November) are closely linked. Firstly, International Men's Day focuses on the role of men in the family, in the wider society, and at the national level. Also, it highlights the awesome responsibility of men to maintain the highest standards in morality and integrity in personal and public life. Let us be mindful of the place of men in today's world.
You may not fully agree with James Brown, an Afro-American singer and songwriter (dubbed the "Godfather of Soul") who popularized a song that was co-written by a woman -Betty Jean Newsome in 1966. The song is entitled 'It's a Man's World' (also known as 'It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World') and the chorus echoes today
This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing
Nothing without a woman or a girl
Indeed, the closing lines of this song are also very relevant today for men and women:
Oh how, how man needs a woman
I sympathize with the man that don't have a woman
He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness
He's lost in loneliness
Yes, this is a man's world, but as Brown's song reminds us, without a woman or a girl man is lost in the wilderness and in bitterness. Due to man's significant place in world affairs, it still seem to be 'a man's world'.
In ancient and modern cultures, Man has held and holds the world's destiny. It cannot be denied that Man is the war-maker and peace maker. Man determines the course of history. In the past and today, most of the world's leaders and lawmakers are men. This is not a recent phenomenon but part of the development of our society that reflects patriarchy. The irony of the situation is that some persons believe that because patriarchy exists, or that men are leaders and decision makers, then boys are fine and protected. This is a false notion. In a male-dominated society, there are many boys and teenagers who are marginalized, alienated and left behind. That's why we have to do something for our boys before it is too late.
Universal Children's Day is a very important celebration to encourage our boys and girls but there is an urgent need to prepare the boy child who will share a role as tomorrow's mover and shaker in society. In the Caribbean, regular examination results from secondary and tertiary institutions indicate a steady decline in academic performance among boys. This is linked to feelings of inadequacy that have become embedded in the psyche of our boys. Yes, the inferiority complex and underachievement prevalent among our boys are neither urban legends nor myths. They are a reality!
Other statistics paint a morbid and frightening picture. On the media, there are regular incidents in which young, misguided boys and teenagers are involved in crime and violence. It is one of the Caribbean's most challenging social problems. Not surprisingly, this is also a problem plaguing other nations across the globe.
There is little room for debate when I write, "We need to save the Boy Child."
We need to protect the boy child from the harmful influences of society. There is an urgent need to focus on the home and school in order to save the boy child. The boy child lives in a turbulent social environment that makes him vulnerable to a multitude of negative forces. If a boy child is neglected or fed a diet of hate and violence it is obvious he will develop into a teenager who is misguided and confused. And the next crucial transition into manhood will be even more difficult.
Protecting the girl child is equally important. Some of us would be aware that since 2012, the United Nations marks 11 October as the "
International Day of the Girl Child
". The obvious question is - why have we not dedicated a day that focuses on the Boy Child? We must not allow the continued imbalance of the gender scale. We cannot ignore that without a focus on both the boy child and the girl child, gender equality is not a reality.
Too many of our boys are invisible and forgotten. Each boy is important and in this race of life, nobody should be left behind. It is within this context that the first observance of "International Day of the Boy Child", henceforth known as "International Boy's Day" will be observed on 16 May 2018.
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News
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Mum, 27, saved her premature baby by drinking seven litres of water a day
Grandparents' right to see their grandchildren after parents divorce could be enshrined in the law, under proposals being discussed by ministers.
The legal change would establish a 'presumption' that grandparents, uncles and aunts should have access to their grandchildren, nephews and nieces after the children's parents split up.
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Candidates Needed for By-Elections
There will be five by-elections in the following seats
Perth
- Western Australia
We would presume that all by-elections would be held on the same date. This date has yet to be set.
If you are interested in running as a candidate for our party in the one of the above by-elections would you please contact the undersigned.
Information for candidates can be found at the following AEC
link
.
The nomination cost for each House of Representatives seat is $1,000.00.
Unfortunately our resources are limited.
Therefore, we would have to ask each candidate to fund their own nomination cost.
Thank you
John Flanagan
Deputy Registered Officer,
Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting).
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"Prepared for Womanhood"
4 Night Father-Daughter Adventure experience
What?
A rich investment into the life, and future, of your daughter, and your relationship with her. Not to mention a whole lot of fun, and a significant and intentional way of creating lifelong memories, and so much more.
Who for?
For girls, young women, & mature-age women, and their Dads or significant male others. A minimum age restriction of 13 years applies, however no maximum age limit applies.
Who are the hosts / facilitators?
Darren & Melissa Lewis from
'Fathering Adventures'
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When?
1. June 30 - July 4, 2018 and or
2. September 22-26, 2018.
Where?
Magnetic Island, off the coast of Townsville, in Tropical North Queensland, Australia.
Outdoor Adventure Activities?
The world-class, professionally-guided & outfitted group outdoor adventure activities include Snorkelling & exploring the outer Great Barrier Reef, a Jetski Tour of the Northern half of Magnetic Island, a Horse Riding tour (or a Sea Kayaking tour if preferred), and Hiking the historic WWII Forts trail. No experience is necessary, as all instruction will be provided by professional guides & outfitters.
How much?
The financial investment required to participate, is $1,200 AUD per person ($2,400 AUD per Father-Daughter pair) plus 10% GST (Goods & Services Tax)... so that's a total of $2,640 AUD (including GST).
That fee includes all transport ex. Townsville Breakwater Sealink Ferry Terminal, all catered meals, all private accommodation (just one Father-Daughter pair only per cabin), all world-class, professionally-guided & outfitted group outdoor adventure activities (as listed above) throughout the days, and a presentation each evening for the fathers and the daughters, together, on topics such as "Your Internal Compass" and "The Pursuit of True Beauty, & The Lies We Can Believe", followed by some small-group discussion time etc.
How to register?
Click on the green "Book Now" button beside your preference of date, toward the bottom of the relevant webpage
,
here.
... and complete the brief online popup form, and click "Submit" when done.
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Dad's Prayer
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Dear God
Jack Donovan said,
"Men cannot be men
-much less good or heroic men...
unless their actions have meaningful consequences
to people they truly care about...
Without these things,
we are little more than boys playing at being men."
Help me teach my boys to have courage and to stand tall,
And be ready to grasp the opportunity
to become a man when the time comes.
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Help Us!
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 542
UNANDERRA NSW 2526
AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the Dads4Kids newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. |
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