Is Teen Rebellion Wrecking Your Family?

July 2011

Issue #140

Message From The Founder

Home should be the most peaceful place. A place of happiness and joy... not a place of rage and rebellion. Sadly in millions of homes there is a civil war between parents and their teenage children. It's an ugly fight where there are no winners; only survivors.

Normal teen development is about growing independence, maturity and strength as a young adult. Thinking differently from parents is part of growing up and part of God's plan since he designed everyone for a specific purpose. Difference of opinion doesn't have to destroy a home.

What can you do if teen rebellion is wrecking your family?

Don't go it alone.
Don't let your home become a war zone.
Don't keep the problem a secret.
Don't think it will get better by itself.
Don't sit by in silence while your son or daughter is on self-destruct!

Lifeworks has been a safe place to solve teen rebellion for almost 30 years. Our counseling team comes in with solid answers to bring peace back to your home, while equipping your son or daughter to respect authority in preparation for a better life. I hope these Christian counseling resources are exactly what you or someone you know needs today. Thanks for helping us spread the word.

By your side on the journey

Dwight Bain, Founder

Symptoms of Teenage Rebellion

By Chris Hammond, M.S, IMH

Teenage rebellion is not just about skipping class, staying out past curfew, or smoking anymore, now the rebellion has taken on new forms and looks considerable different from the past. Understanding the early warning signs of teenage rebellion as opposed to normal development can make the difference not only in your relationship with the teen but in their lives as well. As a mother, teacher and counselor of teens, I have observed three main areas of rebellion in teens. Each of these areas is as important as the next and should be addressed.

Authority. As part of the normal developmental process of a teenager growing into adulthood, teens become increasing aware of the numerous authority figures in their lives. For a teen, the number of authority figures seems to multiply from parents to coaches to teachers to police officers to store managers to even older teens. While during childhood the authority figures were for the most part respected, for some teens they all of a sudden seem to become disrespected as the child ages. Rebelling against authority is open defiance of the rules established whether it is at home, school, athletic field or work.

Continue. . .

What To Do if Your Teen Rebels

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH

Rebellion in teens can be secretive or obvious depending on the personality of the teenager and the circumstances. It can show itself as rebellion against authority, against their peers, or against themselves. The article titled, "Symptoms of Teenage Rebellion" identifies some of the symptoms and breaks down each category of rebellion separating out normal behavior from abnormal behavior. Once you have come to the realization that your teen is rebelling, then it is time to take action to help them overcome the destructive behavior.

Think. The first step in helping your teen is to differentiate between normal teenage behavior and abnormal teenage behavior and address only the abnormal teenage behavior. Leave the normal teenage behavior for another day. Also, if your teen is in trouble for stealing from school and sneaking out of the house, then address one of the issues because the issues are not related. If however, your teen is in trouble for stealing from school and destruction of property at school, then address the issues together. Having a plan before you begin the conversation knowing in advance the range of discipline that will be given will give you confidence and help you to remain calm during the discussion.

Continue. . .

Positive Parenting

By Linda Riley, LMFT

Points to Consider:

1. Depend a lot on God and prayer. Pray for them and with them.

2. It is wise to control our children when they are young, as we cannot control the choices adolescents and teens will make.

3. Take an active role in selecting their peer group in their early years of school, choosing children who have parents with similar values. This avoids a lot of problems down the road.

4. Develop their character through deep-focused discussions, teaching important values and beliefs.

5. Provide them with a standard to help measure what is right and what is wrong.

6. Through communication, help them learn how to think and evaluate choices for themselves.

Continue. . .

In This Issue

Symptoms of Teenage Rebellion

What To Do if Your Teen Rebels

Positive Parenting

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Quotes

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." -Proverbs 22:6

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Dr. James Dobson conducted a survey of some 35,000 parents. The survey concluded that while 25% of teens are of "average" temperament, 40% were considered to be more on the "compliant" side, and 35% on the "strong-willed" side. (More boys than girls fell in this latter category.) Among the strong-willed teens, 74% were found to be in some degree of rebellion during their teenage years, 26% of them to a severe degree. Furthermore, it was surprisingly found that the strong-willed were most susceptible to the influence of their peers! It was no surprise to find that 72% of parents of strong- willed teens characterized their relationship as "difficult" or "very stressful"! (Parenting Isn't for Cowards, by Dr. James Dobson

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