Years ago, I landed my first job coordinating an education program for underserved students who had an interest in medicine. This class included a visit to an anatomical donor lab, or what is colloquially known as a cadaver lab. One year, I asked the doctor who ran it what I now believe is kind of a silly question; I asked if working in the lab ever got easier. I thought that witnessing death every day had to eat away at a person.
I’ll never forget his response. The professor said, “If it gets any easier, you should quit.” That advice has stuck with me, and it rings truer now that I’m in a pair of similar shoes.
It truly never gets easier. We facilitate conversations around death every day at Promise Law, but nothing prepares us for the days when we hear news of a client’s passing. It’s still surprising and shocking. Ultimately, this means the plans we have helped the deceased put in place will get utilized while they also help their families grieve during this difficult time. But it also means we have lost a client — someone we usually grow close to during our work with them.
That’s why we often feel compelled to send handwritten notes to the families of clients who have passed. And while I know something as small as a note cannot ease a person’s pain during this difficult time, my hope is that each family that receives one of our cards knows their parent, sibling, spouse, etc. was more than just a client to us. They were another human being.
I believe handwritten notes and letters can be great connectors. In fact, Fred initially sent me a handwritten note when we first got to know each other. The consideration of it greatly impressed me. Not only did he have to write out his thoughts, but he also took the time to find my address and mail the card out to me. That sends a special meaning that a text message or email can’t do. Technology has made our world smaller, and handwritten cards offer genuine interaction inside that small world.
December offers great excuses to catch up with family and friends and stay connected, usually through holiday cards. It’s always special to get mail, especially in this digital age. I know the grandkids love it! I try to send the grandchildren mail with a fun stamp for the big occasions, like birthdays, holidays, and other fun events. I like to think they will enjoy the ceremony and excitement of it all.
December boasts National Letter Writing Day, and I think it would be wonderful to send a card or two to someone who is on your mind. It could foster a greater connection or be an easy way to brighten someone’s day. Either way, there are few easier ways to show someone that you care than taking the time to write them a letter.
Happy holidays!
