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A few years later, Darlene fell in love and got engaged. She wanted to have her wedding at the nudist resort where she lives.
That’s right.
Nudist resort.
She called me and asked if I would sing End of the Rainbow. I was a bit apprehensive—not about singing the song, but about belting it out au naturel.
I told her I would sing… but only if I could croon my tune with my suit on.
And I didn’t mean my birthday suit!
She happily agreed.
She scheduled the wedding. Then COVID hit. Postponed.
Then we rescheduled. A second wave of COVID hit. Postponed again!
Then, a couple months later, she told me it was back on. Memorial Day Weekend. Olive Dell Nudist Resort.
I marked the date on my calendar.
And then…
I broke my leg a month before the naked nuptials.
I was riding a collapsible bike to the Coachella Music Festival to see Harry Styles when the collapsible bike suddenly…collapsed.
I fractured my fibula. The surgeon needed 10 screws and a metal plate to put my busted leg back together.
I didn't get a chance to see Harry Styles. But then again, he didn't get a chance to see me, either!
I told Dar I might not be able to make it. She was heartbroken. I told her I'd try my best.
A few weeks later, I met with the surgeon and asked if I’d be able to do the gig. He said I’d be OK—as long as I didn't drive, didn’t lift anything, and kept my leg elevated.
I called my friend Benicio. He said he’d drive me to the gig, set up the gear… but no way was he gonna do it with his pickle and onions waving about.
I told him nudity wasn’t mandatory.
He said, “I’m overdressing. And bringing blankets. If things go south, I'm building a fort!”
I called Darlene, told her the good news.
She was tickled pink!
So Benicio packed up the Slimousine and we headed to the Olive Dell Nudist Resort.
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