Many of us grew up in a culture and families where a healthy relationship with one-self was not cultivated and many times diminished, not even taken into consideration or even ridiculed. We all have a tendency to think that we
have relationships with others. In reality, the most important relationship we will ever have in our life is the relationship with ourselves. Everything in our life, from health, success, and self -esteem, to how other people treat and trust us, starts with what kind of relationship we have with ourselves.
One of the popular phrases that we hear when we leave the company of others is the saying " Take care of yourself"... a nice and kind thought, but what does it really mean?
On a physical level it means to take good care of one's body and provide it with nutritious food, an adequate quantity of sleep, a proper exercise program, hydration etc.
When I ask my clients the simple question "do you love yourself"?, it is often responded to with a surprise or laughter, or as if there is something strange with that statement. Yet, unconditional self-love and acceptance are very crucial ingredients for a better and healthier quality of life.
How can we get there?
- Connect with your Inner Self every day. Take few minutes to be quite, breath, meditate, contemplate, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Like when we want to be a good friend to someone else and hear them...do the same with yourself. Give yourself a priority even for few minutes a day.
- Be totally honest and gentle with yourself when you face your issues. Many of our fears, anxieties, issues with self - esteem or acceptance are the by product of our feelings, outdated beliefs or patterns of thoughts from the past. The most important is not to judge them or ourselves. Many of those unpleasant emotions or feelings want to be released. That is why during MFR many times we feel and have memories because we are connected to ourselves and the deeper part of us, wants us to heal.
- Heal old wounds. We all have wounds and pain from the past. Each of us deals with those unpleasant emotions differently, from total denial, to constantly complaining about it. Victimization and some unaware and unprocessed hurts can turn into body pains and illnesses. Deep seated traumas are the best dealt and healed with the help of the professional person who can help us to feel it, release it and feel lighter at the end. All we have to do is to be willing to go to some of the dark places of our lives and do it in a safe manner without anxiety. When the process is done there is a significant amount of joy and lightness that is felt. MFR (MyoFascial Release) can help you with that process in a safe, nurturing and supportive way.
- Forgive the Past. Many times I feel that we were all advised just to forgive someone or heard the phrase " oh just get over it" without fully processing the whole thing. We can never fully forgive anyone, including ourselves without feeling FIRST all the associated pain, anger, unfairness, that was produced by abusive behavior, old trauma, or unaware behavior of others or even ourselves. So do not be too quick to forgive if you feel you are not ready for it. Sometimes you need to just sit with those feelings and let them be. Self- acceptance is necessary and the realization that you - and everyone included - have been doing the best they can based on their own level of awareness.
- Accept yourself where you are right now. I believe that the healthy way of living is to be authentic with yourself and others. It is great to be in a present moment and enjoy it, however we also need to attend to past conditioning, old wounds and memories so we can fully live in the present moment. It will not happen over-night, change takes time, so be gentle with yourself. But also know that emotions or past experiences were supposed to be felt and released. Walking around with them is like carrying a heavy suitcase, it is exhausting and prevents us from enjoying the present moment.
- Surround yourself with people who support and honor you. Not everyone in your life will be supportive and reflect back to you the love and honor that you have for yourself. Not all the family members and friends will give you back the appreciation and respect that you deserve. Honor yourself enough to separate from the negative energy of other people who reduce your own love and peace of mind. Simply avoid aggravation!
Give the love that you want to others.
Probably the single, most important part is to treat others the way you want to be treated. So if you want love, attention, honesty, respect and honor give it to those who resonate with you and understand that.
f we spend some time every day cultivating one or more of these 7 steps, day by day we will be walking a path filled with more unconditional self-love, fulfillment, a greater sense of overall well-being and love towards others. The only way to live that way is to reconnect with our true- self. I hope my thoughts inspire you to connect with your heart and live a life that is authentic. There is no better time to start than NOW.