LOVE AND LOGIC
Are you finding yourself completely exhausted and stressed with all of the problems that bombard you on a daily basis, even though 2020 is finally over? I find myself still feeling crushed under the weight of the many burdens whirling around me. Why? Simply because I’ve forgotten how much fuel is required to run a helicopter on a daily basis.
Yes! I tend to be a helicopter parent, a helicopter boss, a helicopter spouse, a helicopter whatever. It’s nobody’s fault except mine. Deep within me is the burning desire to make sure that no one I know suffers from any sort of unhappiness, disappointment, or disgust. There are just so many people in my life that need my help solving their problems!
I am reminded that trying to rescue our kids from all of life’s challenges burns us out and creates kids who don’t believe that they have what it takes to be successful in life. I also realized that this very same principle applies to rescuing our spouses, friends, and colleagues. It doesn’t take long for us to run out of fuel and crash to the ground.
The single most powerful tool for combating this tendency is to memorize the following words:
Oh, no. That’s got to feel ___________.
What do you think you are going to do about that?
The next time someone else’s problem comes your way, experiment by saying those words with sincere empathy. Simply fill in the blank with whatever emotion you’re guessing the person is feeling, then give suggestions while allowing the person to own and solve his or her problem.
To help make sure that your helicopter stays grounded, be sure to register for our free, live seminar next Tuesday, January 12, at 8 p.m. EST. It’s called, “Parenting During Uncertain Times,” and will provide many helpful insights for parenting in the age of COVID-19.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Dr. Charles Fay