CAREGIVER Corner:
Are you taking care of someone who has difficulty communicating with you? Perhaps it's due to dementia, or hearing loss? Maybe they're in the late stages of a critical illness and speaking is too much effort for them. It is extremely frustrating for caregivers to try and understand what the people they care for want and need when they do not have feedback to inform them. As caregivers, we want to solve problems and help the person we are caring for to be as comfortable as possible, but it's so difficult to do when they have trouble communicating.
It might surprise you to learn that sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop trying to communicate. Stop trying to help, trying to solve problems. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just sit and listen to each other breathe. It is comforting to people to know they're not alone. Someone who cares for them is with them in their weakest moments, just breathing together. As you sit with someone in these quiet moments, you'll be surprised at the thoughts that cross your mind, the memories that pop into your consciousness. Some of them may be happy, some melancholy, some sad, or even angry. The content does not matter because the impact will be the same. The memories will bring you closer to the other person. Sitting quietly, allowing the memories to enter your mind, will afford the opportunity for the memory to be examined in the perspective of the present moment. Is this the final memory you want to hold on to? Can you let some memories go and forgive the hard feelings, let go of the sadness, and enjoy the happy memories?
This silent communication can be a gift to you. Spend time with the person you care for unwrapping the gift.
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