** From The Positive Perspective **
July, 2021 The Joy of Questions

Have you ever been in a situation where you did not know what to say to someone after they have just dropped some information on you that you did not expect? Ever felt awkward in a situation and at a loss for words? Ever been so angry at someone that you wanted to yell at them but you knew you would say something that you would regret? These are all situations where a question can help you to return to your comfort zone or get you out of a sticky predicament. 

Questions can allow some new information into the conversation. They help put you at ease by contributing to the conversation and also inviting someone else to say something as well. Here are some examples of how questions can save the day.

Example #1. You are in an argument with your spouse, kids or friend and they say something you do not like or disagree with. You feel yourself getting angry. You have a choice. You can start yelling or putting them down and acting like a superior; or you can say, “Can you help me to understand why you did that or what do you need me to do?” or “I am very upset right now but I don’t want to say something that I will regret, so is it OK if I take a walk for a few minutes and then we can sit down and discuss what just happened?”

Example #2. You are in a conversation with your boss and he/she begins to discuss details that you don’t understand. They ask for your opinion on the issue. You can just say, “Ummmmm???” or “That is an area of the business that I am not fully versed in, can you tell me more about that topic?”

Example #3. You are hosting a lunch or dinner for people and lack a conversation starter. While silence here and there is absolutely fine, you feel it is time to get conversation going. Ask someone a question about themselves or something that has recently happened in their life. Or you can ask a question about current events, if that is appropriate. Questions invite others to contribute new information to the flow of the conversation. 

Example #4. At a function at someone’s home (yes, we are starting to do that again, post-COVID) and you do not know many people there. You can just stand in the corner or go to the restroom, or you can approach someone you do not know and ask, “How do you know the host?” It gets the ball rolling in an otherwise awkward situation.

These are just a few examples of how questions can enhance or calm down a life event. It is OK to pause in these situations as well, to decide if a question is appropriate or not. I would enjoy hearing other situations where you feel questions are appropriate.

Thank you for your trust in me. Be safe and be well.

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Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT
305 Miron Drive
Southlake, TX 76092
Quote of the Month

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.”

by Albert Einstein, German physicist responsible for the theory of relativity.

Fact of the Month

How much of our brain do we really use? 100%

It has been misattributed to many people (including Albert Einstein) that we only use 10% of our brains. This myth was originated in the 1890s by the father of American psychology, William James. He said, “most of us do not meet our mental potential” and this misunderstanding stuck for a long time.

The human brain requires 20% (more than any other organ) of the body’s energy; in children, that figure is 50%, and in infants, it is 60%. It contains more neurons (around 86 billion) than any other species, and this dense neuron packing is what makes us so smart.
Source: www.rankred.com

You are worth the effort!!!!
I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.
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I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice. I can be reached at [email protected]. I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...