A Disabled Persons Guide To Talking With Your Partner(s) About Sex

Disabled people get a lot of practice telling people about our bodies: we tell doctors, therapists, care workers, and people in our support networks like family and friends. Sometimes this is a choice, and sharing builds understanding and intimacy. Sometimes it is out⁠ of need, like if we’re explaining our care or asking for help.



Sometimes we don’t choose it, but are expected to talk about our bodies, like when random non-disabled people ask inappropriate or invasive questions about our bodies and abilities. Situations like that can include extremely personal questions about our sex⁠ lives and sexuality, even though that’s often not wanted or okay. We should always feel comfortable to refuse to answer or address those kinds of questions.

The constant curiosity of others, and the expectation we should always talk about these personal things with anyone who asks, can really make it difficult for us to think about pleasurable, consensual conversations about how our bodies work and what our needs are. But when we meet someone who we are interested in as a sexual⁠ and/or 

romantic⁠ partner⁠, we need to have these conversations so that we and our partners can have the best and the safest time possible. It’s so important to be able to tell our partners how to support and pleasure us in the ways that work for us (and that we learn what feels good for them). Even though we’ve got all that practice, this conversation can still be really hard to start.

People With Disabilities Deserve Comprehensive Sex Education

The most harmful misconceptions when it comes to people with disabilities are that we don’t have sexual lives, our disabilities define our identities, or that we don’t experience a spectrum of sexual orientations or gender identities. Even though systems and greater guidance have allowed certain sexual and reproductive health services to be readily available — widespread testing, conversations about consent, prevention and treatment of STIs — this type of availability doesn’t equate to accessibility for everyone, especially for people with disabilities. An already shallow approach to sex education across the board coupled with the misconceptions we impose on people with disabilities could have life-altering consequences for those of us in the margins, already left behind by the sex education programs that do exist.

As with most communities who are systematically marginalized, people with disabilities struggle to access equitable education in general. The lack of comprehensive sex-ed is only the tip of the disability-rights-movement iceberg. According to the World Health Organization, about 16% of the world's population has some form of disability.

What to Know About Nonhormonal Birth Control

For some people, hormonal birth control is not an option. They may want an alternative option to avoid hormones, want to experience side effects, have health concerns, or are nursing.



Some common types of birth control contain hormones such as estrogen and progesterone. While these types of birth control tend to be highly effective, there are various reasons a person may not be able to or want to use them.

Nonhormonal birth control options range from barrier methods to sterilization and other methods, such as natural family planning. The effectiveness of these methods also ranges depending on the method and how it is used.

This article explores 11 types of hormone-free birth control options and their effectiveness.

Rhythm Method for Natural Family Planning

The rhythm method, also called the calendar method or the calendar rhythm method, is a form of natural family planning.

To use the rhythm method, you track your menstrual history to predict when you'll ovulate. This helps you determine when you're most likely to conceive.

If you're hoping to get pregnant, you can use the rhythm method to determine the best days to have sex. Similarly, if you're hoping to avoid pregnancy, you can use the rhythm method to determine which days to avoid unprotected sex.

Using the rhythm method for birth control requires careful record keeping and persistence. If you don't want to conceive, you and your partner must avoid having sex or use a barrier method of contraception during your fertile days each month.