When I was younger (not so long ago), I loved roller coasters. In every amusement park or boardwalk that we went to, I rode the roller coasters, big and small. I loved the nervous energy and exciting anticipation of climbing up those big hills and the even more exhilarating drops on the other side. Loops and corkscrews made me scream with excitement and rocked my insides as well as my soul. And then one day I just didn’t love them anymore. Not that I don’t like them. I’ll still go on one occasionally when it presents itself (of late not that much), but they don’t attract me as much as they used to. I think it’s because I’ve realized (as I’ve gotten older and wiser) that life presents its own roller coasters. The highs, the lows, the excitement of a new relationship, job, wedding, home, stage in life, and the sadness or anxiety when things end, when there is disappointment at how something turned out, when there is sickness or death, when there is a move, a change in life that you weren’t expecting.
This weekend was a roller coaster for my family. As many of you know through these musings, my mother-in-law is 96 years old, and her body is failing her. At this point, we just don’t want her to have any pain. Saturday was a roller coaster of a day as I greeted her in the morning and she asked me about our dinner plans the night before and I showed her the new nail polish color on my toes, but by the afternoon we thought she was leaving us, not eating or drinking and totally unresponsive. And then this morning going to visit her and preparing for the worst, we get into her room, and she has the NY Times in her hand, she’s eaten breakfast and she is engaged in conversation. I’m sure this roller coaster will continue like this and if we’re lucky it will continue for a while with more highs than lows, but who is to know.
What I do know is that there is no controlling life. It is a roller coaster full of ups and downs. When visiting an amusement park, we have the option of getting on the ride or passing. And most times you can even look at the roller coaster and see what you’re getting into, the highest hill, the number of loops, but that doesn’t present itself in life. There are no options, no control. And many times we ride life’s roller coaster with our knuckles white, gripping and holding on for dear life, stomach churning and heart breaking. The highs can be exhilarating, and the lows can be emotionally destructive. Yet we ride because life offers us the opportunity to take this incredible journey. And what this practice of yoga has taught me, more than anything else, is that we are not in control of life. It is a whirlwind, a roller coaster and there is no controlling it. The only thing to do is trust that the hills will come as well as go, to surrender to the dips and know that they will level off and that the loops will come around. And mostly what this practice has shown me is that the best thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you are on it. And to know that the only thing we have control over is how we respond. We may not have control over the highs and lows and loops that life presents, but we do have control over our thoughts, emotions and feelings. The breath is a powerful tool in this roller coaster of life. I know I used some long deep mindful breaths many times this weekend. So we have to use the power of our breathe and our mindfulness to help us stop screaming in fear and start yelling in joy and excitement. We use our responses in a positive way to think about the possibilities and the incredible potential that life offers us each and every day. Just like a roller coaster ride, we notice there are ups and downs and spins and turns. Just when we think we know what’s coming, the ride may take us by surprise and change all our expectations. But isn’t that the main reason for getting on the ride in the first place? Don't we want the full experience? And isn't it worth it?
Hope to see you on your mat this week in any one of our in-studio or online classes where there will definitely be some mindful breathing as you enjoy the highs and lows (up dogs and down dogs) as well as the loops (twist) of your practice and this incredible journey of life that we are all privileged to have! Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, grandfathers and father figures in your lives! . As always, thanks for reading my musings. Namaste, Leslie
