In a world of trauma, tragedy, and turmoil, the one thing that lends you resilience and the ability to flex under pressure and bounce back is having a solid core. This provides you with a touchstone that helps you make sense of the world and determine how to respond to it.
So, what is the solid nucleus within you - the nugget of gold or lodestone? Is there something about you that you love and know will never change? Many people actually find this question extremely hard to answer. Many people are not clear about themselves, allow others to define who they should be, and tend to be inconsistent or incongruent.
Becoming conscious of how you are thinking about yourself and others - becoming the witness of your thoughts - will help you discover how you currently define yourself and determine whether this is in alignment with how you would ideally like to be.
If we derive our sense of self from external sources, then it will invariably be as fragile and impermanent as those external sources. The late Stephen Covey spoke about "rescripting" as a process of actively defining how
you want to be and then being it (which is my definition of congruence).
Are you living the script you have written, or have you not written your script yet? Do you need to rescript your life?