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Kimberly D. Wallace
This conversation is rooted in place, identity, and the quiet call to serve that often reveals itself long before we recognize it as purpose. Raised in Jacksonville, Texas, shaped by generations of strong women, and guided by faith, community, and resilience, her journey reflects what happens when lived experience meets intentional healing. After more than two decades in corporate America, she answered a deeper calling into counseling, choosing meaning over momentum and purpose over position.
In this interview, we explore the intersections of upbringing, cultural identity, trauma, and transformation. She speaks candidly about what healing really looks like, why trust is foundational to the therapeutic process, and how generational experiences shape the way we carry pain, suppress emotion, and survive. With clarity, compassion, and cultural insight, she offers a vision of mental health that centers understanding, rest, and humanity especially within communities that have long been taught to endure in silence.
This is a conversation about becoming. About unlearning survival. About legacy, leadership, and the courage it takes to stay, feel, and heal.
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Roots Identity and Purpose
You were raised in Jacksonville Texas. How did your upbringing there shape your values, your empathy and your call to serve?
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I was strongly influenced by the women in my family, my mother and her sisters, my grandmother and my aunts, in particular my Aunts, Alice, Tracey and Linda. My mother, Flora and her sisters Eva, Bettie and Doris, taught me to be strong and independent and to “figure out things.” My grandmother, Corsie Lee (a.k.a. Bigmama) was my strongest influence; she kept me in church and often signed me up for or encouraged me to join different service organizations. I remember one day when I came in from playing with my friends, she told me that she had signed me up to be a Brownie. I had no idea what it was. She said she didn’t either, but the granddaughter of one of the ladies she cleaned for was one and so I needed to be one, too. Bigmama also encouraged me to join Top Teens of America. She told me that my Uncle Johnny was in it and they got to travel and do other activities in the community. The idea of travel intrigued me the most.
My uncles, who were more like my big brothers, married some amazing women. My Uncle Aaron married Alice, and she instantly became my big sister and mentor. She made sure I completed my college applications early and had me to apply for every scholarship known to man to ensure I finished college with little or no debt. Uncle Johnny married Linda, she was a nurse and encouraged me to pursue my then dreams of being a doctor – that dream changed, but knowing that was an option meant everything to me. And my uncle Larry married Tracey, she is an educator, and she taught me to figure out my passion and to not be afraid to pivot. I realized that they as well as several of my cousins all have careers where they are serving others. Being supportive of and active in the community as well as pursuing helping careers is in just in my DNA.
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You spent over 25 years in corporate life before becoming a licensed professional counselor. What was the turning point that led you to step into healing work full time?
Around the last quarter of 2019, I was starting to get bored and antsy in my consumer products goods career – at the time I was leading the Sales Strategy team for a hair care products company. I was starting feel like it was no longer fun, I was just chasing dollars and lacked true purpose.
One of the ladies that I’d hired to help run the marketing department was going through a very rough time. Her husband and her dad both died within a 3-month period. When I checked in on her, she told me she was extremely sad and sat in the parking lot at the local warehouse club and cried each day at lunch. I convinced her to seek professional help from a therapist. I even helped her find two different Black female therapists. She had a couple of sessions with each of them than then told me that although she thought they knew their psychology stuff, she felt they were not making it relatable to her life and her circumstances. She told me she got more empathy, understanding and help from our conversations. After I thought about it, I realize no matter where I worked, someone would inevitably put a “doctor’s in” sign on my office door because folks would always come to me with whatever was bugging them. They knew I would hold their confidence, and sometimes I gave good advice, but mostly I listened and asked questions and helped them to see what it was they needed to do.
My co-worker’s comment re-ignited my interest in psychology. Although my Bachelor degree was in English, I minored in psychology.
When the pandemic caused several business to reduce their staffs, my whole team was let go from the hair care company. I took that as a sign to stop chasing the dollars and focus on living in my purpose. I meditated, I prayed and asked God to make my path plain. The next morning when I logged onto Facebook, I saw an ad for The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. I clicked the link and completed the interest form. Within an hour I received a call from the admissions office and by the end of that day I had applied for the Counseling Psychology program; by the end of the month I was enrolled and preparing to begin classes in the Fall of 2020.
How has your identity as a Black woman shaped your approach to therapy advocacy and leadership?
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I view the world through a multicultural lens. I realize that Psychology is fairly new to Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC). For such a long time it was reserved for the “elite” (primarily well-resourced people who were in the “majority”). There was also the stigma that getting therapy was a sign of weakness or that you were “crazy.” None of that is true.
Being a Black woman, who has had the privilege to travel and develop friendships with people from various parts of the world; I try to take an approach that considers a person’s culture now and when they were growing up. For instance, when a Black person comes to me and tells me they are seeking help for anger issues, fatigue, poor sleep – I start asking questions regarding depression or have them to take an assessment to validate whether or not they could have symptoms of depression or anxiety. You may ask, when someone tells me they are angry and tired and have poor sleep, why would I think depression.
Being a Black woman, I understand that when we (Black people) were growing up, we were taught to suppress our feelings and emotions. I recall hearing elders tell the BOYS (kids) that men don’t cry; or to man up. What they were essentially telling them is they are not allowed to express how they are feeling; if they cry they are less than a man and they are weak. Well, they were CHILDREN and should have been allowed to be children. Years later, when these boys have growing into adulthood and are actually men, people in their lives admonish them for not being able to express themselves or to communicate. Of course they cannot communicate, they were taught not to. Similarly for little Black girls, they rarely saw their mothers rest or cry – again that would have been a sign of weakness. Or when little Black girls did cry, they were told to “hush” and don’t be a cry-baby. Again, being taught that expressing emotions was bad. Fast-forward to adulthood, emotions, especially ones that may make you seem “weak” are suppressed. Those suppressed emotions turn into resentment. That resentment turns into anger, frustration, fatigue (it is hard to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time). Then there comes the trope of the angry Black person. We’re not angry, we’re tired, we’re sad, we’ve been living in survival mode. We need understanding, we need rest. We need to know it is okay to cry, to feel, to show emotions.
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Healing and Human Experience
You specialize in helping clients recover from addiction and trauma. What do you believe is most misunderstood about healing these wounds?
The most misunderstood thing is helping people realize they have actually had trauma and that is the lens in which they view the world. Many people believe trauma has to be something major that has happened to them. Something like surviving a major car accident or house fire. I often explain to clients that trauma happens when a deeply distressing event overwhelms the brain's ability to process it. In preparation for our first session, I have clients to complete an intake form that includes a question asking if they have had ay trauma. About 90% of the time, the answer is no. When we are actually speaking, they tell parts of horrific things they have survived in childhood and early adulthood – I’m amazed. When a man tells me that police broke their front door down and held a gun on he and his father when he was in the third grade, and he still went to school the next day…or a woman recalls she was 8 years old when she saw her father beat her mother so badly that she had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance while her 8-year-old self feels she must take on the responsibility of making sure her younger siblings have breakfast and is dressed and ready for school the next morning. I’m amazed. I explain to them that that was a trauma – and not a normal day. Now they are most likely abusing drugs or alcohol or have developed some other maladaptive behavior in order to numb those feelings of fear, of shame, of abandonment.
Helping clients to realize that when they were young there was little they had control over; and they should not be ashamed of the fact they could not “save” the adults in their lives. Once we work past the shame; and they know I am not going to judge them for being a child who peed their pants when a gun is forced into their face or they were not strong enough to stop their dad from beating on their mother, we can begin to make some progress.
For as many clients that I have who are living with shame and trying to numb out those bad feelings with maladaptive behaviors or abusing substances, I have just as many who have suppressed traumas that have happened to them. They do not understand why they drink or abuse substances or are promiscuous or have a shopping addiction or gambling addiction, etc. I take a trauma-informed approach, such as EMDR to help them uncover and then process their trauma.
Many people struggle with reaching out for help. What do you say to the person who is silently suffering and unsure if therapy is for them?
The struggle may be shame or fear. that someone is going to find out and think they are not strong enough to handle life. I want them to know that people in this profession are governed by a strong code of ethics, and the main one is confidentiality. What you say in session stays in session. The only time we are obligated to break confidentiality is if you tell us you’ve hurt or plan to hurt a child or an elder; or if you give us permission in writing to do so which, by the way, you can revoke at any time. We are so serious about confidentiality that if/when we run into clients outside of the therapy office, we do not acknowledge them unless they approach us first.
For the people who are unsure if therapy is for them, I encourage them to reach out to therapist who offer free 15 or 20 minute consultations. That way you can get a feel for their personality, their approach and if you think it will be a good fit for you. It allows you to ask questions about the therapy process and hopefully give you some insights into what to expect.
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How does trust play a role in your work with individuals and couples and what are some ways you help clients rebuild it?
Trust between me and my clients is an absolute must. If people do not trust you, they are not going to be vulnerable and truthful with you. Sometimes trust is immediate; sometimes it takes months for people to feel comfortable enough to tell me what is truly bothering them. Think about it, are you going to tell someone your deepest, darkest secrets or share your shame with someone you do not trust?
When working with couples that have had a break in their relationship’s trust, I offer a space for each to truly be heard by their partner. I often share with the couple “Fighting Fair” rules and have them practice actually listen to understand rather than listening for an opportunity to defend themselves.
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Clinical Vision and Practice
You are trained in multiple modalities including CBT EMDR Internal Family Systems and the Gottman Method. How do you decide which approach is best for each client?
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is the basis of talk therapy, clients talk, I listen and ask questions, we come up with solutions together or I’ll go into my toolkit and help them learn a new coping skill – I typically use CBT for clients who may suffer from anxiety or depression.
I utilize Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) when people have suffered from trauma or is looking for relief from some maladaptive behavior or substance or alcohol abuse. Sometimes internal family systems (IFS) is interwoven into the trauma treatment, especially for people who suffered trauma in their childhood.
The IFS modality helps people to recognize the different parts of themselves and helps them to provide each part with what they need in order to feel whole and healed.
For couples counseling, the Gottman Method is my go-to. I like it because it includes an extensive assessment that each partner completes on their own. The assessment is called The Relationship Checkup, and it covers key areas of a relationship, including friendship and intimacy, conflict management, shared meaning, and trust and commitment. It also includes individual areas of concern such as parenting, finances, and housework. It provides a comprehensive picture of the relationship's strengths and weaknesses.
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What do you see as the future of mental health, especially in communities of color?
I see the stigma that talk therapy means you are weak is starting to fade. I see more people are realizing that taking care of their whole selves – physical, emotional and mental – is important. I see a future where more people of color are healed and not living with generational wounds or shame.
What is something people might be surprised to learn about therapy or about you as a practitioner?
Many are surprised that therapy is not about somebody telling them what to do but helping them to figure out what is happening within themselves; then helping them to consider different options and learn new coping skills so they can have a more peaceful existence.
What they may find most surprising about me is I also have a therapist. If you have a therapist who is not in therapy, then you need a new therapist. We take on so many other’s pain, we need a healthy way to release it.
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Leadership Legacy and Impact
You have built a life and career rooted in resilience, compassion and deep cultural awareness. What does legacy mean to you at this point in your journey?
Legacy is taking all that I have learned and helping to pave a smoother path for the ones that are coming up behind me. I am my ancestors (Bigmama’s) wildest dreams; and the dreams I have for my goddaughters, nieces, nephews, cousins and play cousins is they get to where I am much faster so they can go even further.
What advice would you offer to other Black women professionals who feel called to reinvent themselves or pursue purpose driven work?
I say do not be afraid to pivot. Figure out what you are passionate about; what replenishes your soul. And then figure out what it will take to do that thing.
Looking ahead what are you most excited to build, create or offer through your next chapter?
In this chapter, I am so happy to take all of the life experience that I have gained through my over 30 years in corporate America, and just by living and being resilient, and provide a safe space for people to be vulnerable and trusting and understand what drives them.
I just love when clients find that I am someone who listens without judgment and help them figure out why they feel the way the feel or why they react the way they do to certain triggers. I want to help people heal.
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