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Who are you without your title?
Three years ago, I walked into the opening retreat of a yearlong leadership program with one rule I couldn’t stop thinking about.
You can’t talk about what you do for a living. No titles. No industry. No what you studied in school.
My first thought? What on earth are we going to talk about?
My second thought was harder. Do I even know who I am once the professional accolades are stripped away?
And of course, it was fine. We talked about our families, our hobbies, our first concerts, and the last books we read. By the end of the year, I trusted the people in that room more than some colleagues I’d worked alongside for years, and I couldn’t have told you what half of them did for a living.
Last week, I got to go back to that same opening retreat, this time as a board member. And watching from the side of the room, I noticed something I missed when I was in the middle of it.
Even without titles, the leaders showed up almost immediately.
Not the loudest people. The ones who went first and shared something real so others felt safe to do the same. The ones who noticed who hadn’t spoken yet and made room for them. The ones who asked a second question instead of waiting for their turn to talk.
None of it had anything to do with title, tenure, or experience. It was character, visible in a matter of minutes.
As leaders, it can feel easy, even necessary, to lean on our title to get things done. And it helps. But it isn’t enough. People don’t follow a title. They follow a person who shows up with integrity, someone they can trust not just when things are easy, but when things are uncertain.
So here’s a question worth sitting with: If your title disappeared tomorrow, would the people around you still see a leader?
Try this: The next time you meet someone new, introduce yourself without your job. Notice what you reach for.
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