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November 4, 2026
The Question Leaders Are Afraid to Ask: "Am I the Problem?"
Not because leaders are arrogant.
Because most leaders are hardworking, well-intentioned people who genuinely want to help. When results aren’t what they want, it’s easier to look at the employee, the workload, the budget, the culture, or the circumstances.
The uncomfortable possibility is that the obstacle might be us.
Maybe the team isn't unclear because they’re not listening. Maybe they’re unclear because we aren’t being clear.
Maybe employees aren’t resisting change. Maybe they don’t understand why it matters.
Maybe people aren’t taking ownership because we’ve accidentally trained them to wait for our approval.
That is the leadership “aha” moment. The problems we have the most control over are often the ones closest to us.
The best leaders aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones willing to stand in front of the mirror before pointing a finger. Asking “Am I the problem?” isn’t an act of self-criticism. It’s an act of self-awareness. And self-awareness is where growth begins.
Action Items
- When a problem occurs, ask: "How might I be contributing to this situation?"
- Before assuming unwillingness, consider whether expectations were truly clear.
- Ask a’ trusted colleague: “What’s one thing I do that makes leadership harder than it needs to be?”
- Look for patterns. If the same issue follows you from employee to employee, it may not be an employee issue.
- Replace blame with curiosity.
Final Thoughts
“The hardest person to lead is the person in the mirror.” – Anonymous
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