The rooms were too small.
And the layout was wrong.
Should we look for a new home,
Or stay here where we belong?

I sat there with Sally.
We sat there, we two.
And I said, "I can make changes
to make our house look like new."

How hard could it be
To cut a hole in the wall?

But if I cut it wrong
would the ceiling fall?

Sally said that I could make things worse.

And I had to somewhat agree

We were both very afraid

Of how bad my work would be.

The least I could do

Was put on a new coat of paint

But then there were the drips

And of course Sally's complaints.

So all we did was

Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
And we still did not like our house.
Not one little bit.

And then
Something went bump!
How that bump made us jump!

We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw him!
The Contractor in a Hard Hat!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?"

"I know you think your rooms are outdated

And your house layout is crummy.
Hire me to fix it and
I will save you lots of money!"
"I know some changes you could make,"
Said the man on the mat.
"I know some remodeling tricks,"
Said the Contractor in the Hard Hat.

"A lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you.
Your neighbors and the city
Will not mind at all if I do."

Then Sally and I
Did not know what to say.
We wanted to make changes
And right away.

But our dog growled, "No! No!
Make that man go away!
Tell that Contractor in the Hard Hat
You do NOT want him to stay.

He should not be here.
Have you checked him out?
He smells like beer

Tell him to get out!"

"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the man on the mat.
"My tricks are not bad,"
Said the Contractor in the Hat.

"We are working on the house
just down the street,
We can cut you a deal
That no other contractor can meet."

"Just tell me what you

Want to have done.

I promise you that

This experience will be fun."

We discussed our wants

And talked to him for a little bit

His price seemed very low

He said the work did not need a permit.

"Just pay me 75 percent down!" said the man,
Now leaning on our wall!"
I will finish your project.
"In no time at all!"

Finally our house will be

All that we want.

The man in the Hard Hat

Seemed like a construction savant.

"Have no fear!" said the man.

I will be back tomorrow, you will see

I will be done in no time at all

And construct everything one... two... three.

We gave him a key

So he could make our house look new.

He came back the next day

With helpers Thing One and Thing Two.

They ran into the house so fast

They didn't even say "How do you do?"

They started demolishing things

That Thing One and Thing Two.

Our dog said,

"No! No! No!

Those Things should not be here

Make them go!

Look at what they are doing

Their work is unfit.

Kick them out!

They need a permit."

"Have no fear, little dog,"

Said the contractor in the Hard Hat

"These Things are good Things,

Go lay on your mat.

"They will be done

Really really soon

and make the bathroom

Look like a brand new room."

To our delight

The changes happened fast

The tub even had jets

We are happy at last.

Thing One and Thing Two

Left for the night

And promised to come back

At the morning's light.

They said we could

Use the new tub.

We couldn't wait

To soak and scrub.

Sally turned on the water

With jets that did bubble

But when she turned it on

I knew we were in trouble.

The lights in the house

All of a sudden went out.

And the water was pouring

From everywhere but the spout.

So as fast as I could

I went to my phone

I called the contractor

And left a message "GET TO MY HOME."

Our dog came running
And was barking alot.

He said, "Do I like this?
Oh, no! I do not.

Thing One and Thing Two

Were unfit.

I do not like what they did

Not one little bit!"

The Contractor in the Hard Hat

Did not call us that night

In fact he never called

And did not make things right.

Our dog once again

Said "You did it all wrong

You should have called

Leading Edge Homes all along."

Todd came to our home

To make our home fit

He said "The process will take time

And I must pull a permit."

When the work was complete

Everything was done right

Our nightmare was over

We could finally sleep at night

The lesson we learned

Through all our boo-hooing

Is you need to hire a licensed contractor

That knows what he's doing