|
THE DILEMMA: THERE IS A COST TO BEING AN ELITE “GRINDER”
Elite leaders are grinders. Top performers never let up. If you want to get ahead, you must be relentless.
Recently, I was on a call with a military leader who told me about his friend Max, an elite soldier and leader. Max was a pro's pro, elite of the elite, and targeted by the upper echelon as someone who could possibly lead them all in the future. Max had killed himself.
We assume that the toughest of us, the hardest of us, and the most talented of us are resilient. We think we can just keep grinding day after day without consequence or wear and tear. This assumption is especially dangerous for elite performers, self-made individuals at the top of their profession, and special needs caregivers. This newsletter is for anyone who thinks they can overcome anything and keep grinding without affecting themselves physically, emotionally or mentally.
THE PRINCIPLE: NEVER ASSUME RESILIENCE
My daughter has a special needs son, our grandson Boone so we are acutely aware of the amounts of strength and energy it takes on a daily basis for my daughter and her husband.
Recent research and brain mapping shows parents of special needs children, especially single parents experience levels of stress comparable to soldiers who have experienced combat. Research also shows us that repeated exposure to high stress levels can cause both physical and mental damage. In my coaching and consulting, I have found that the more elite the performer, the more assumptions are made about their ability to be resilient, by both themselves and others.
"The number one root of all illness as we know it, is stress." - M. Williamson
Resilient means something can go back to its original form. But what if we can't? What if the stress is causing permanent damage we're not aware of? If we aren't aware of this silent assassin and aren't putting systems in place to raise our self-awareness, we will succumb to it.
INSIGHTS FROM COACH O: ATTACKING THE SILENT ASSASSIN OF GRINDING
So how do we protect ourselves or those who work for us from assuming resilience? How do we make sure we are proactively and strategically enhancing our resilience both mentally and physically while we are striving to be elite?
A close friend of mine passed away at 47 years old. I have marveled at how his wife has dealt with the grief, raising 5 children and the stress of losing her best friend too early in life. Recently, she shared "The Rules" she made for herself to get through the stress and sorrow and still be a great leader for her family. You may find some of these extreme, but she felt she needed to take extreme measures.
Her intentional system included: no social media for a year to avoid numbing out, reading only books about growth and faith, walking four days a week, listening to podcasts and messages, sitting quietly for 30 minutes daily to get through the grieving process, journaling every day, being present for her kids while also ensuring her children had outside adults pouring into their lives, and being real, raw and vulnerable through the process.
These weren't just coping mechanisms. They were proactive leadership decisions to protect her resilience and lead her family well during an impossible season.
HIGH-PERFORMANCE LEADERSHIP TOOL: CREATING YOUR RESILIENCE RULES
My friend’s wife created intentional "rules" to protect her mental and physical resilience during extreme stress. What resilience rules do you need to create for yourself?
Ask yourself:
1. Do I assume resilience in myself? Do I take care of myself? (Ask this question to your family members too)
2. How can I proactively and strategically force myself to rejuvenate? What’s my healthy recharge?
3. How can I, as a leader, help those I lead who are top or elite performers to be more intentional about being resilient both mentally and physically?
The most elite performers need the most intentional recovery systems. Don't wait until you're broken to start building resilience.
SO WHAT NOW WHAT: PROTECTING YOURSELF AND YOUR TEAM FROM BURNOUT
This holiday season, join me in challenging yourself to get some much needed rest and work on being resilient. The grind culture glorifies relentless work, but the truth is simpler and harder: sustained excellence requires intentional recovery.
Please remember my friend’s wife and Max. Don't assume resilience and fight to recharge!
Make it a great week, be a Legacy Builder!.
Coach O
| 
