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UNITED WAY OF CONNECTICUT | | As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re pleased to introduce you to two incredible women who are making a profound difference in Connecticut around grief and loneliness. We hope that you are as inspired by them as we are, and that you will carry forward their messages of strength, hope and connection. |
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When you’re feeling stressed or distressed, don’t forget to take a moment and reach out for help. Call 2-1-1 and press 1, or call or text 988, or chat 988lifeline.org. |
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ANN DAGLE
Co-Founder and President
Brian Dagle Foundation
Brian’s Healing Hearts Center for Hope and Healing, Niantic
| | Ann Dagle lost her son Brian to suicide in 2011. She shares her story here: | | |
In 2011, my life as a mom of three boys, with very different personalities and who were transitioning into young men, was far from perfect. But one thing was sure: they all knew how much they were loved by their parents, their large extended family and so many friends.
I think this was especially true for Brian, the youngest of the three. His charismatic personality, sparkling blues eyes and sensitive soul melted many hearts.
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Brian lost his life to suicide in November of his sophomore year at Castleton University in Vermont. I equate Brian’s death to a tsunami that hit my family, friends and anyone who was blessed to have known him. Everyone questioned, ‘How could something like this happen to a family that seemed to be so loving and connected to community?’
In the weeks and months following Brian’s death, life was a blur. Grief was exhausting, isolating, physically and mentally painful. I struggled to find a reason to live but my focus turned to my surviving sons. I needed to always keep them close by and spoil them with anything they needed.
I also became fixated on searching for other mothers like me. It felt like my grief left me alone on a deserted island. I needed to find other loss survivors. Sadly, I found them – moms who lost children to suicide but also to tragic accidents. They understood. We talked, we walked, we cried and shared about our kids without judgement, silly cliches or advice we did not need. I also discovered the benefits of a grief support group for survivors of suicide loss. Twice a month on Friday nights, we shared our similar stories and found ourselves saying, ‘Me too, I feel the same way.’
For our family and Brian’s friends, the landscape of our lives was undeniably changed. My family of five suddenly became a family of four. Each person’s grief was uniquely their own – mother, father, brother, aunts, cousins, roommates, neighbors – their relationships with Brian were special, based on every life he touched. Years later, I cherish stories from people who I never knew but who were touched by Brian’s kindness.
The next few years, the roller coaster ride of emotions was overwhelming. The ups and downs of grief were relentless. The dance between two steps forward and twenty back left me feeling confused, lost, frightened and unsure of my place in the world. I wondered when I would ever find solid ground.
As I reflect on my journey, the year 2014 was a pivotal time in my healing. It was when I could finally fully embrace the long road ahead of engaging in the grief work that would be necessary to my healing. Until that point, I could only survive but I knew I needed and deserved more than that, to maybe even thrive.
Without a real plan, mission or any ideas on what we wanted this to look like, in 2014 my family and I opted to give purpose to the unimaginable pain we experienced and started the Brian Dagle Foundation.
Businesses, friends and people we didn’t know stepped forward to help us organize fundraisers. 2014 was the first year of the Niantic Jingle Bell 5K, our biggest fundraiser. It has grown to one of the top 5K’s in the state, with more than 1,500 registrants, raising more than $100,000. I learned to share my story, Brian’s story. I learned that his story did not end when his life did.
I educated myself by attending suicide prevention trainings. I received a certification in Grief and Death Studies to support anyone grieving the loss of someone and became a QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) certified trainer— just like CPR, QPR is an emergency response to someone in crisis and can save lives — to teach others the signs I did not see. I’m sure I gained as much healing in helping others as they received from me. But it was so hard. It was hard to be so vulnerable about my story, about Brian, about the darkest times in my life, but it was my way to honor Brian and still is today.
In 2018 one of our greatest accomplishments in this journey was opening Brian’s Healing Hearts Center for Hope and Healing. At the Center we offer HOPE to hundreds of adults grieving the loss of a loved one from any loss: spouses who’ve lost the loves of their lives to disease or an accident, bereaved parents who’ve lost a child tragically to accidents, illness, drug overdoses or suicide. It’s a safe place to feel connected and understood by others who are also on this journey.
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Now, we’re celebrating more than ten years of incredible accomplishments at the Brian Dagle Foundation and Brian’s Healing Hearts Center for Hope and Healing. I’ve learned to hold joy and sadness together: I hold the joy for my beautiful family and fulfilling life, and I hold the sadness for the cost it took to get here.
The tragic loss of Brian has led us to this work. He is my reason. Together we make a difference in the world one person at a time.
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Legislative Recap Webinar
Friday, June 20 12-1
| | | | A Roadmap to Fully Funded Communities | |
Connecticut’s Fiscal Controls have delivered $12.5 billion in surpluses since 2018 – but at what cost to our children and hardworking families?
Join our advocacy partner CT Voices for Children for an event series unpacking the state’s fiscal policies and exploring solutions to raise revenue for critical investments in our communities.
Mark your calendars for an event near you and register at:
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DEB BIBBINS
Founder & CEO, For All Ages
Convener, The Connecticut Collaborative to End Loneliness
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When Deb Bibbins retired from the insurance industry in 2013, she began serving as a board member for several Greater Hartford nonprofit boards. Around that time, she watched a family member struggle deeply with loneliness as his social circle shrank with age. Seeing him go through such a difficult period prompted her to dig into the research, and she found a vast body of overwhelming evidence linking loneliness to serious mental and physical health risks. She looked for a nonprofit that was actively addressing this growing public health crisis in Connecticut and was surprised to find none. After a period of soul-searching, she decided to take action and, in 2019, with the support of a long-time friend, founded For All Ages, a nonprofit dedicated to connecting the generations and inspiring action to end loneliness, reduce ageism and improve mental, physical and social health. To date, their intergenerational programs and social health education initiatives have touched more than 38,000 lives - and they’re just getting started!
For All Ages also convenes The CT Collaborative to End Loneliness, a statewide alliance to foster social connection for Connecticut’s residents. Deb shares that she’s “learned that loneliness is part of the human experience and that none of us are immune to it. As human beings, we are wired for connection; it’s as essential to our well-being as food and water.” She says that loneliness arises when the quality or quantity of our social connections doesn’t meet our needs, whether for a moment or over time.
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What’s inspired me most is realizing that we have the power to change that. By taking small, intentional steps — like reaching out, asking how someone’s really doing and truly listening — we can not only transform someone else’s day, but also strengthen our own sense of belonging. That awareness has changed how I live my life, by making connection a daily practice, not just a value.
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One of For All Ages’ most powerful and impactful stories happened at an adult living community during an intergenerational art program. A woman who had been grieving the loss of her spouse – and self-isolating for months – heard laughter coming from the common room. Children and residents were painting together, sharing stories and enjoying each other’s company. She quietly opened her door, stepped out of her room and sat down nearby. When she was invited to join in the fun, she gently declined, saying she just wanted to watch.
The next morning, the Executive Director of the community called and said, “You will not believe the impact your program had on one of our residents. We’ve been leaving meals at her door for months – she wouldn’t open it for anyone. But this morning, she came to breakfast for the first time in ages. She joined us at lunch too. Her whole demeanor has shifted. She told me, ‘Grief will always be with me, but now I see what I’ve been missing and that it’s time to start moving forward.’”
That moment reminded Deb of the quiet power of intergenerational connection. It also reinforced a lesson she carries daily: we rarely know what burdens others are carrying, and a little kindness and connection can truly change a life. She shares that human connection is essential to our health and well-being. Yet loneliness is quietly fueling a wide range of serious health and social issues, including heart disease, stroke risk, type 2 diabetes and dementia, as well as rising rates of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, domestic violence and gun violence. This growing public health crisis touches people of all ages and walks of life, often in ways we don’t immediately see.
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Each of us has a role to play. Whether it’s checking in on a neighbor, sharing a meal or simply listening with intention, small acts of connection can change lives. And beyond what we do individually, it is vital that we advance and back programs and initiatives that strengthen human connection – across generations, in healthcare settings, in workplaces and throughout our communities. Doing this will not only support individual well-being, it will also help build a healthier, safer and more resilient future for all of us.
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Giving back to her community has always been important to Deb. It’s a role that not only draws on what she has done in the past, but also continually challenges her to grow – especially through the incredible people she has the privilege to learn from every day.
Deb lives in Simsbury with her husband, whom she met more than 40 years ago at UConn. They both love being outside and enjoy exploring local trails with their spirited rescue pup, Bailey, leading the way. When she’s not leading For All Ages, she finds peace in nature, balance through yoga and a lot of pride in watching her daughter pursue her Doctor of Physical Therapy degree at UConn.
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- There are many crisis lines, but they ALL lead to our 211 Crisis Team, which offers 24/7/365 access to mental health assistance for Connecticut callers – including through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
- In Fiscal Year 2024, our 211 Crisis Team responded to more than 185,000 calls, yet fewer than 1% of those calls required a 911 response.
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- Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy published a report that describes loneliness as an epidemic on par with tobacco use and obesity, and the antidote is human connection.
- Loneliness has negative health impacts equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases the risk of depression (33%), heart disease (29%), type 2 diabetes (24%), dementia (50%), stroke (56%) and suicide (500%).
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Feeling stressed or distressed?
Call 2-1-1 and press 1, or call or text 988, or chat www.988lifeline.org
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