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August is a funny month. Kids are wearing backpacks to school and SPF-45 to the pool. Some of us are planning summer vacations, while others are packing up U-Hauls to send our kids off to college. We are creating new patterns and structures to our days and, in some cases, whole new identities as summer turns into fall.
In the last few weeks, I've spoken to more than a few parents who have made that change of sending their kids to college. In the conversations I'm having with them, all of them are saying, "Who am I now that my child no longer lives at home?"
And that happens at work too. A promotion, a bigger team, or a role that doesn't look like what you trained for. Who am I becoming this next season? Not just as a parent, but also as a leader. These questions hit at the very same time.
If we haven't met yet, my name is Vicki Abelson, and I'm the CEO of Turknett Leadership Group. Stepping into this role has had me reflecting on my own version of that question, on leadership, what it means to pay something forward, and on the character it takes to lead.
At our Women in Leadership event last Friday, our speaker, Tori Kaplan, told a story about a moment when she'd lost her footing a little, and her boss sent her a text just to remind her of who she is. Then she said something that's stayed with me since: self-concept isn't a solitary exercise, it's collaborative. We don't figure out who we're becoming alone, in a vacuum. We figure it out because someone else reflects it back to us, sometimes in a two-line text at exactly the right moment.
That same idea showed up again, in a completely different form, with one of our longtime clients. She started working with us years ago, back when she was a high-potential individual contributor. She's since grown into leading her own team, largely made up of the kind of person she used to be. She didn't stop at investing in her own growth. She brought us in to coach her direct reports too, so they'd have the same chance she did. She's paying forward exactly what Tori was describing. Somebody once reflected her potential back to her. Now she's doing it for a whole team of her own.
Which brings me back to where I started. Who are you becoming this season, not just as a parent, but as a leader. And what about the team or organization you lead, what's it becoming too? What's shifting under both of you that you haven't said out loud yet.
If any of this is stirring something up for you, hit reply and tell me what you're sitting with this season. I'd genuinely love to know. We read every email.
Here's to a good fall.
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