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November, 2023
Newsletter from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
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Our pastor recently preached a sermon on gentleness, which of course, is a fruit of the Spirit. I don't remember it being talked about as much as some of the others. A short description is, showing power and strength under control as Jesus did. It was one, however, I needed to hear.
Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed I'm not as gentle, in my words or actions, as I know the Lord would want me to be.
A person who demonstrates gentleness is our daughter. She demonstrates gentleness with her children, others and most recently even with a new puppy. She is gentle with him when I would probably be blowing a gasket. We love her heart.
She demonstrates being a true follower of Christ in this regard.
Grace and peace,
Penny and David
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For Those in Troubled Marriages
If you are struggling in your
marriage, please be sure to check out these upcoming programs in and around the areas in which we minister:
Cincinnati, OH - January 5-7, 2024
Louisville, KY - February 16-18, 2024
Nashville, TN - March 1-3, 2024
Miami, FL - February 2-4 and March 8-10, 2024
Please note: this is an international program and if you are in a different location, please check their website for other locations.
The cost for registration is normally between $350 - $400.
For more click here.
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A counselor-led workshop for couples in crisis.
- December 8-10 - Nashville, TN
For more information, click here.
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"Happy Thanksgiving!" I'm sure you have heard this several times over the past few weeks. At MERCY, we too want you to have a wonderful and blessed day. In keeping with being thankful, the Dating Divas tell us "Couples who express gratitude can expect a better relationship, better health and a more positive outlook in general."
Here is a link to Thanksgiving "thankful cards" to enhance your loved one's day(s). They are cute little strips where you can write "I'm thankful for you because__________."
click here
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How Friends Impact Your Marriage
As XO recently posted, "Friends play an extremely important role in our lives and this remains true after we're married as well. We need to cultivate good, true, loyal, and honest friendships that not only bring out the best in us but also bring out the very best in our marriage.
"On the other hand, we need to stay away from toxic friendships that have the potential to harm our marriage."
Here are four friends that are bad for your marriage:
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The friend who talks badly about HIS/HER spouse. It is funny how we often take on similar behaviors of the company we keep. We want to surround ourselves with people who want to have a good marriage.
- The friend who talks badly about your spouse.
- The friend who is always trying to put you against your family.
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The friend who hates marriage in general. We shouldn't end a friendship simply because we don't agree with everything one says, but we need to be cautious of close friends who won't respect our beliefs or tries to belittle our values.
If you would like to read this entire article, click here.
| We normally do not talk about politics in our newsletters, but we thought this was applicable since it concerned marriage. Mr. Johnson, new House Speaker, has been in a covenant marriage since 1999. | |
Newlywed vs. 10 Years
Jay and Laura Laffoon share a funny take on the journey from starry-eyed newlyweds to "seasoned pros" in the game of marriage.
Communication:
- Newlyweds: They talk about hopes, dreams, and feelings for hours, practically finishing each other's sentences.
- 10 Years: We finish each other's sentences because we have heard the same stories and jokes a gazillion times.
Date Nights:
- Newlyweds: Fancy restaurants, dressing up and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes.
- 10 Years: Date night involves takeout, pajamas, and a competitive round of Mario Kart.
Privacy:
- Newlyweds: No bathroom door is ever closed, and personal space is as rare as a unicorn.
continued . . .
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Winners of the "Weekend to Remember" scholarship by MERCY.
We are pleased to announce that the winners were Cyndi and Glen Smith from Mt. Washington, KY.
Here is what they had to say about the weekend. "We came to the Weekend to Remember" retreat tired but left renewed, refreshed and back on the path ready to journey on toward oneness with each other with God in the center of our little family. We were reminded that we are the champions of each other's heart and we are living our dream of happily ever after."
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Debra Fileta is a Christian, a Professional Faith-based licensed counselor, author, creator of the #1 Faith-based relationship advice blog 'TrueLoveDates.com' and founder of Debra Fileta Counselor's Network.
If you are not familiar with her, we would encourage you to check out her website, here.
On the "TrueLoveDates.com" she address topics such as"
- Finding God in Dark Times
- Conflict in Marriage
- Top 10 Relationship Killers
- Boundaries and many more.
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Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages, has a new app called the "Love Nudge." It is a fun, revolutionary app that helps you "automate" the Love Languages and keep tabs on each other's "love tank."
It is like having a personal assistant for your relationship. Download on Apple or Android.
Click here to learn more about this app
Download here for Apple
Download here for Android
The Love Languages is an investment that yields great returns.
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Newlywed vs. 10 Years continued
- 10 Years: The bathroom is now a sacred sanctuary, and personal space is like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Romance:
- Newlyweds: Love notes, passionate kisses and sweet nothings are daily occurrences.
- 10 Years: "In love" notes are shopping lists, and kisses are replaced with high fives.
Laundry:
- Newlyweds: Laundry is a fun team effort.
- 10 Years: Laundry involves heated debates on sock-folding techniques and whose turn it is to do the whites.
Arguments:
- Newlyweds: Intense arguments are swiftly resolved with makeup hugs and kisses.
- 10 Years: Arguments are less frequent but may end with a silent treatment and a passive-aggressive dishwashing contest.
The Laffoon's end by saying, "Remember to find humor in every moment and cherish the love that grows stronger with time. Keep laughing and loving!"
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This month's Coupletime activity comes from Better Marriage, an organization we have been a part of for many, many years.
Spend a few minutes thinking about and writing down your responses to the following prompts, and then share these with your partner.
- What are the qualities you most admire about your partner?
- When you are asked to think about fond memories of shared times together, what comes to mind?
- Recall a time you accepted influence from your mate and noticed a positive outcome from this influence.
- When was a time your partner helped you to calm down? How did you feel afterwards?
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