Fields talks about how, at a young age, we are given messages that we need to strive for perfection. “Perfectionism is a conditioned belief established in the mind during childhood. There is no absolute guideline or rule that says you must be perfect, or else. But there may be a thought pattern that says just that. Parents, teachers, coaches, and other adults in the life of a child can easily imprint the attitude and belief that anything less than perfection is failure. Exactly what perfection entails is often nebulous and ends up being what the adult says it is. This then teaches the child that perfection is attained only when the adult, the authority, says so.”

In a July 4, 2022, Psychology Today article titled Embrace Your Imperfection, Dr. Palena R. Neale writes that perfectionists often see themselves as never good enough. “They live with a deficit mindset, feeling they need to be repaired, make amends, and do much better. They need to be perfect and achieve perfection in all they do to make up for their perceived failings.” This ‘deficit’ mindset can lead to unintended consequences and impact our happiness. In the article, Palena explores seven damaging effects of perfectionism and seven ways to embrace our imperfections.

Seven Detrimental Effects of Pursuing Perfection:

1. Procrastination. When you need to achieve perfection, it can be hard to even get started. The very thought of the task ahead can feel overwhelming. We put it off, waiting for the ‘perfect’ time. Procrastination means delay, overwhelm, and even paralysis, leading to disappointment and underperformance.

2. Time-wasting. We might be doing things to achieve an end–but are the things we’re doing necessary? Perfectionists take excessive time to complete tasks. Are you tweaking, improving, enhancing, and using a lot of time trying to make things perfect? Not every task requires the same level of excellence, and sometimes "good enough" is exactly that.

3. No improved performance/productiveness. Ironically, all the time stress, work, and care are taken by perfectionists–has little effect on performance. How much more productive would you be if you could work well without feeling the need for perfection?

4. Overcompensation. Perfection is an ideal that can rarely, if ever, be achieved, but it doesn’t stop people from trying. It can, however, ensure failure as they set even higher goals that they consistently fail to meet. Perfectionists feel driven to push themselves even harder, overcompensating for never achieving what they strive for.

5. Self-sabotage. Many perfectionists hold the belief that “I can’t fail if I don’t try.” They deliberately set themselves up to fail or underperform by not putting any effort into certain tasks. This allows them to say, “If I’d really tried, I would have done it perfectly.”

6. Burnout. If you are constantly pushing yourself, not living up to your impossible standards, getting disappointed, and failing to achieve perfection–that’s a lot of stress, anxiety, and strain. Many perfectionists worry about how others perceive them and their performance, too. Perfectionism takes a lot of hard work, energy, and mental capacity, leading to exhaustion of mind and body–ending in burnout.

7. Mental illness. High expectations and the pressure to perform perfectly cause various mental health issues. From their studies, Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill wrote, “The increase in socially prescribed perfectionism makes for a compelling backdrop for almost epidemic levels of serious mental illness.” They stated that socially prescribed perfectionism “increased at twice the rate of self-oriented and other-oriented perfectionism. It is also the form of perfectionism that exhibits the largest association of all the dimensions with a host of mental health issues including anxiety, depression, social phobia, and suicidal thoughts.”

Seven Helpful Strategies to Embrace our Imperfections (from Palena):

1. Adopt a growth mindset. Recognize that perfectionism is part of a deficit mindset, involving (often unconscious) attempts to repair our defects. Reframe what you do as a learning process – informing your improvement, performance, and productivity.

2. Concentrate on process, not product. Planning and goal-centeredness are great, but you can miss opportunities and enjoyment in the present. Adopt mindful practice and live in the moment to enjoy the journey instead of worrying about getting to the destination perfectly. When everything is a learning process, achieving the perfect ending or product becomes less important. Flexibility and being in the ‘flow’ open you to other possibilities.

3. Quiet the inner critic. When a critical voice in your head tells you you’re not good enough or that you need to do things perfectly, control it. Disprove it or turn down the volume and silence it.

4. Choose excellence. There is a distinction between excellence and perfectionism. As Adam Grant said, “instead of aiming for perfection, it's healthier and more effective to strive for excellence” because “striving for excellence is pursuing high standards of quality. Perfectionism is very different.”

5. Accept imperfection and embrace "good enough." Perfection does not exist, so trying to achieve it is an impossible task. Adopting this mindset gives you immediate relief and freedom from guilt, liberating time, effort, and headspace for better things.

6. Use self-care. Ensure you have a good work-life balance and practice regular self-care to relax, refresh and rejuvenate yourself.

7. Embrace failure and fail better. Your standards can stay high, and your goals can remain huge, but when you see failure as an opportunity for growth, it releases you from the burdens of perfectionistic thinking or tendencies.