So many may wonder - "What's it like to be a Military wife while your spouse is deployed?"

Staff Sargent Wade Coffman with his wife, Scarlett Coffman, CMP

Well, I think a lot really depends on your personal mind set.  So I can only speak to my mindset and personal experience.  I feel the most important thing is to keep the household together and handle as much as I can on my own without worrying my husband with details that he cannot assist with.  He has enough to do and I don't need him worrying about me or our household issues.  I am fortunate that I also have "grown" kids; however he has tried to make them stay at home so I won't be lonely and I've told them to move out if they want....as I will be just fine.  Making friends has never been an issue for me.  I involve myself with other projects like working out at the YMCA and I currently have a new passion/hobby - "Pickin" - so you will find me out almost every Saturday morning!

This is my husband's second deployment and I can tell you that he is in currently Afghanistan and should be returning home in May of 2014.  This is his second active combat tour overseas; his first tour was in 2009 to Iraq.  I find it important to also note that my son was deployed to Jordan from June of 2012 and returned home this March, so I do have just a bit of experience at this process.

Each deployment/mission is different.  My husband is a Staff Sargent, which means he has troops (soldiers) under him and his main goal is to make sure that his soldiers (lower enlisted men/women) are taken care of and to ensure that they all come home safe.  He was successful in 2009 and I expect that he will be again this go around. In Iraq his mission was to assist in training the Iraqi police, so he was out patrolling and doing various walking patrols and was probably in more danger than I ever really realized, as he did see some action during this tour.

One of my most concerned times, was when the unit was placed on "Blackout", so there were NO CALLS, TEXTS, FACEBOOK, EMAILS, etc.; basically, NO COMMUNICATION.  This was new to me and I learned that this is done for the privacy of the families who are involved.  Usually when a unit is placed on Blackout it is due to loss of life or severe injury.  During his first tour his unit did lose one soldier to ambush and two were seriously injured.  Attending a military funeral is also a different experience.

 

Scarlett Coffman, CMP and her husband, Staff Sargent Wade Coffman

As for my journey this go around, he is not currently out in the open as he was in 2009; however the enemy does try and bomb his area at least once a week and he is pulling long shifts of 12 hours a day with one day off.  He is tired and then when you get awakened by sirens or bombings, it does tend to eat at your nerves, so he has his grumpy moments no doubt.  I added international texting to his phone, so we usually text daily; often it's only a Good Morning/ Hello/I Love you, but it is some type of communication.  A text from Wade usually brings a smile to my face as well.  My favorite friend is SKYPE and I am sure many of you have used this wonderful program, but I have skyped with each deployment.  With Wade's long hours and a 9.5 hour time difference, (yes there is a crazy half hour difference on Central Time.  Eastern Time is only an 8 hour difference and you lose that crazy half hour.  Go figure.) we have not been able to skype as much as we would like.  He has been having Thursdays off, so I get up at 4 a.m. so that we can skype for an hour or two before I get ready and go off to work.  Seeing each other's face is always a great thing and hearing his voice opposed to text is also a great thing.

I also try to send a box a week of something from home, be it candy, health needs, favorite foods, whatever.  I just fill my flat rate box to the top and ship it!  Mail is a BIG morale booster.  This time around the soldiers were and are needing some basic items.  It seems the demand is greater than their supply, so I have been sending lots of items not just to Wade but to all soldiers in need.  He alerts the soldiers that he has "x" items if anyone needs them and should he have items not picked up, he donates them to a local Pastor who also takes donations for all Soldiers in the area.  This is where our community service project comes in.  Soldiers are always thankful for items from home, especially when it's something they need or want from home.

So this is a short overview of what a military wife can experience during a deployment.  Some stress more than I and some have smaller children which can bring on a different set of circumstances.  It's all in what you make it and I choose to make the best of it and appreciate ALL of our Men and Women who serve our great nation.

God Bless!

Please read more below about how you can help our Troops during their deployment.