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Mediator Musings: Optimism

                                                                       by Sara Barnes

It’s rough out there. Wars, atrocities, mass shootings, global warming, toxic polarization, free-floating anger and anxiety. We are often asked at MV Mediation about what we can do about global problems. For me, I try to embrace optimism whenever I can manage to find some.

The optimism principle is not an easy one to stick to, and it isn’t always possible to keep from becoming demoralized. I thought that while we are coping with multiple international, national and local crises, I’d offer approaches that have helped me. Maybe these tips might, in turn, help others during difficult times.

Look for the Helpers

Mister Rogers suggested to parents ways to talk about tragedies and disheartening events with young children. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping . . . That will give you hope.’”

Do Something

It helps, for me, to look beyond my own life to think in a more collectivistic way. I do what I can, and so can others. Each of our individual actions will ripple out, hopefully positively, from our own efforts. Find something you can do within your capabilities and talents.

Think Historically

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. popularized this notion: The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. I return to this idea fairly often.

Face Your Fears

When fear rises up in my consciousness, I turn to the poetry of Audre Lorde. She said this about fear: “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

Learn Something

For me, I find that learning something helps me to handle demoralization and sadness. As the mantra says, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I have always found that to be true for me.

Framed within a wider context, concerns may seem to be a bit smaller, a bit more handleable. In the process, a smidge of optimism peeks through the gloomy skies with a little bit of needed light.

Here’s a longer version, originally from 2023, slightly revised.

JOIN THE INTRODUCTION TO MEDIATION COURSE

We have some spaces open in the course. If you want to join, here is the registration link, or send an email to education@mvmediation.org.

Section One: Mediation Basics

1. April 14 - What is mediation?

2. April 21 - How to set the stage

3. April 28 - Listening to the conflict story

4. May 5 - Crafting mediation questions

5. May 12 - Negotiation in mediation

6. May 19 - Developing the final agreement

Plenty of courses coming up this spring and next fall, take a look at the schedule here.

🧭  Conflict Coaching:

Build Skills, Find Clarity

Don’t avoid conflict—navigate it.

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

A weekly drop-in for those in the conflict resolution field including local, national and international mediators, facilitators and coaches. New topics weekly. Donations appreciated. Wednesdays at 4 pm––all welcome!



Taking Notes Series:

• April 8 –– Using a chart to keep track
• April 15 –– Drawing a diagram
• April 22 –– Only quotations
• April 29 –– Using a fill-in template

Case Study Series

• May 5 — Case study Agriculture
• May 12 — Case study Elder/Multigen
• May 19 — Case study Family/Divorce
• May 26 — Case study Small Claims

Email education@mvmediation.org for the Zoom link.

Have a suggestion for Mediator Check-in? Send your ideas here: https://forms.gle/J7mFfw99awtKKsS

HIGHLIGHTING OUR PARTNERS: MV Nonprofit Collaborative

We are so fortunate to partner with the local nonprofit support group Martha's Vineyard Nonprofit Collaborative. Their mission is Sustaining the Vineyard by Strengthening Nonprofits. Recently they have offered a series for nonprofit organizations to learn more about strategic planning, succession planning and partnering with other organizations. The 296 nonprofits on Martha’s Vineyard benefit from the work of MVNC.

April offers a chance to reflect on how inclusion, equity and collective care show up in our communities. Together, these celebrations remind us that belonging is built through awareness, action and connection.

National Deaf History Month –– This observance highlights the importance of communication access and equity. For mediators and community members alike, it’s a reminder to create spaces where all voices are heard and respected.

Earth Day (April 22) –– Earth Day highlights our shared responsibility to care for the environments we all depend on, while recognizing that environmental challenges often impact communities unevenly. It reflects the values of mediation by emphasizing collaboration, inclusive dialogue and working together to address complex issues in ways that are fair, creative and co-created.

National Volunteer Month –– Community mediation is rooted in service. Beyond individual cases, mediators spread their skills throughout the community, sharing tools for conflict resolution and helping build a culture of self-determination, where people feel empowered to shape their own outcomes, and impartiality, where fairness and neutrality create space for all voices to be heard. 

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve. Listen to this description of Divorce and Family Mediation.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação. info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Tenant or Landlord Conflict?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals, pre-release, and recently released individuals, post-release. For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED

MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMC offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.”

 –– A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. Don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in your daily life. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops and courses.

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THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thank you for being part of our important conflict resolution work for 41 years. Your generosity helps us to further our impact and support community needs.

OUR MISSION

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an Island of competent, capable and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you to our donors and sponsors for your continued support!

Thanks to partners who help us with our professional development and service provision by mediators, coaches and facilitators.