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Mediation Musings: Community

Sara Barnes



There are a lot of communities. Whether a rural village, a one-way-street block in Brooklyn, a gathering of cribbage players at the PA Club, a crowd of early-morning fishers on the beach, a Zoom meeting of colleagues across seven time zones, a parent child care collaborative, a twelve-step group, a gaggle of online gamers who have been playing together since they were 10, a faith-based congregation, the 5:30 a.m. Woods Hole boat regulars, the third-grade teachers in the teachers' room, Wednesday clothes sorters at Chicken Alley secondhand store, the class of 1949 who meet every July 4 in their home town, and on and on. Lots and lots of communities.

Here on the Vineyard, we are immersed in our local community in real and meaningful ways. Board, roster and staff members volunteer at the food pantry, community greenhouse, town council, school committee, town finance committee, food equity projects, domestic violence supports, building projects, water committee, firefighters support, older adult programs, court, schools, homeowners associations, and more. This month we participated in the Borders to Bridges project, a gathering those who are part of or in support of the immigrant community. We have many members who take the idea of community quite seriously.

MVMC Community Advisory Board

There’s much more we could be doing to make our community commitment real and vibrant. I’m happy to say that our MV Mediation Center’s Community Advisory Board (CAB) is getting some new attention and energy. We have commitments from individuals representing various corners of the Island who have agreed to participate in the vital work of monitoring the conflict resolution needs of our community. We look to CAB members to inform us about where they are seeing patterns of unresolved conflicts and to learn from them about how we might be of help. We hope to more specifically make real the •Community• in our tag line.

Read a longer version with a bit of history about community mediation and some about life on 17th Street in Brooklyn, along with some great evidence of community on Martha's Vineyard.

When conflict happens, it can feel like the pieces just don’t fit — conversations break down, and solutions seem out of reach.

At Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Center, we help people to see the bigger picture. Our mediators sit with families, neighbors, coworkers and community members to help them find the missing pieces: communication, understanding, and a way forward.



This year and every year, we’ve helped hundreds resolve housing disputes, workplace challenges and family conflicts that once felt impossible. Each one of those resolutions started the same way: with people willing to try to work things out, and MV Mediation service providers helping them piece it together. We can do more with your help. Consider making a financial contribution of any amount.

Are you willing to help us to do more with more?

Your donation helps make our vital work possible. Every puzzle needs all its pieces — and you are an essential part of ours. With gratitude, the Team at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Center

👉 [ Donate Today]

Guest Essay Excerpt from Mediator, Conflict Coach and Educator Nicolasa Lopez. Full essay here.

A Heartbreaking Call for Help

On November 11, I received a distressing phone call. A former parent urgently informed me of an ICE raid at the Allston Car Wash. “I thought you could warn other families to stay away.” My heart sank as I thought of the families I knew who worked there. Desperation set in as I tried calling their loved ones, but no one answered. Unable to sit there and wait, I drove to the car wash.

Upon arrival, the scene was devastating. The atmosphere was heavy with fear, sadness and hopelessness. Employees wore expressions of terror, and the manager, a longtime friend, shared the heartbreaking details: Nine employees had been taken by ICE agents, all of whom had immigration status. Some were denied access to their IDs and medications, including an elderly worker with a medical condition. The cruelty was unimaginable.



The nine employees taken from the Allston Car Wash, seven of whom I know personally, came to this country seeking a better life, only to have their dreams shattered by [being] branded as criminals. NO human being is illegal. Together, we can create a future built on dignity, equality and compassion. Let us stand united. 

A note from our partners at the

National Association for Community Mediation: 

We find ourselves in interesting times. Thank you to those who did respond to our second Pulse Survey of membership. We heard clearly that while 55% of those who responded noted that the fear is real regarding the disintegration of our public institutions and norms, 85% of you feel committed and ready to lean in and respond as the 1964 Civil Rights Act Part X calls us to where there is disagreement, disturbance or disruption. Please read more here.

The hope is to continue to learn what you and the communities you serve are experiencing, so that we may continue to focus our support with your efforts to increase justice, peace and belonging in a manner that is the best use of our limited resources. Onward together! Your NAFCM Team

Board of Directors Corner

At the October meeting, the Board received updates on organizational progress and key initiatives. Reports included updates on leadership planning, ongoing work to strengthen long-term financial stability, and the status of the Donor Campaign, which is seeing strong early support. During discussions, the Board reviewed program data to address the question “How did case numbers increase so significantly?” The conversation highlighted factors such as, staff's unwavering dedication, expanded outreach, stronger community partnerships, and increased awareness of mediation as a valuable resource for resolving conflicts.

The November meeting focused on three programs: The Local Consumer Program, sponsored by the Attorney General’s Office; our unique CLAMSHELL Conflict Coaching program; and the work we are doing in Bristol County. Highlights and accomplishments were shared. The Board will have an in-person celebration Board meeting on Tuesday, December 16th! Let us know if you would like to attend, and we will send details.

Visit MV Mediation Workshops & Events to view our full calendar



Financial Conflict Resolution is a need for many. We want to highlight the free monthly financial planning workshops, Wednesdays at 6 pm, in person on MV through Stillpoint.

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

A weekly drop-in for those in the conflict resolution field including local, national and international mediators, facilitators and coaches. New topics weekly. Donations appreciated. Wednesdays at 4pm––all welcome to join.



• November 19th -- Mediation Role Play: Finishing mediation, the send-off
• November 26 -- No Mediator Check-in; Happy Thanksgiving!
• December 3 -- Meet this amazing mediator--New Roster Member
• December 10 -- Meet this amazing mediator--New Roster Member
• December 17 -- Meet this amazing mediator--New Roster Member
• December 24 -- No Mediator Check-in; Happy Holidays!

Email education@mvmediation.org for the Zoom link.

Do you have a topic or series suggestion for Mediator Check-in?

Send us your ideas here: https://forms.gle/J7mFfw99awtKKsS

MONDAY MINI-COURSE-WORKING WITH CO-MEDIATORS



Are you an experienced mediator and want to participate in advanced training? This month we begin a course on co-mediation, Mondays from 4 to 5:30. These are fun and engaging workshops, with dynamic exchanges between mediators. Mini-courses are scheduled throughout the winter and spring on various topics. Upcoming mini-courses through June here. Let us know you are coming, we will send the Zoom link. Register here.

November invites us to pause and reflect on the themes of gratitude, service, inclusion and justice. From recognizing the histories and contributions of Indigenous peoples to appreciating the service of veterans and navigating family and community dynamics, consider approaching these observances not just as calendar dates, but as opportunities to practice empathy, active listening and equitable communication.

Native American Heritage Month – November is a time to celebrate the rich histories, cultures and contributions of Indigenous communities. By acknowledging historical injustices and honoring diverse cultural perspectives, we can deepen our understanding of systemic inequities and improve our ability to engage in meaningful dialogue.

Veterans Day (Nov 11) – Veterans Day invites us to reflect on the service and sacrifices of those who have served in the military, as well as the diverse experiences of veterans and their families. Recognizing these perspectives helps us appreciate different viewpoints and encourages respectful conversations across generations and communities.

Thanksgiving • Native American Day of Mourning (Nov. 27) – Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on gratitude while also navigating the complex dynamics that can arise in family and community gatherings. Applying mediation principles—open communication, perspective-taking, and collaborative problem-solving—can help turn potential conflicts into opportunities for connection and understanding. Honoring Native American legacy, culture and history can be included in the day’s activities.

Partner Focus - Schools

We recently sponsored the Touchdown Club dinner for the Regional High School Football team, through the Courtney Brady High School Peacemakers Fund. We believe in sports as a component of strong proactive conflict resolution.

Martha’s Vineyard Schools and the Martha’s Vineyard Public Charter School are our partners in the teaching of our unique Peace Curriculum. We are thankful for the school administrations, teachers and parents, and most of all the students, for working hard to become peacemakers and conflict resolvers. Our core funder is the Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.

Our DEI Coordinator, Andrea, recently attended the high school Generations Club, the initiative of a 15-year-old who gathers with older adults on Saturdays to build bridges across generations.

There is a training for those who have young people in their lives, and we were asked to disseminate information on the Youth Mental Health First Aid program next taking place Thursday, Dec. 4, 9:30–4:30; register here.

The Youth Task Force would like us to promote First Night for families and young people to celebrate New Year's Festivities, see flyer here.

Our vision is An Island of Conflict Resolvers; we appreciate all those who are committed to young people and the local schools. We appreciate your partnership.

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve. Listen to this description of Divorce and Family Mediation.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação. info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Tenant or Landlord Conflict?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals, pre-release, and recently released individuals, post-release. For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED

MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMC offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.”

–– A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. Don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in your daily life. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thank you for being part of our important conflict resolution work for 40 years. Your generosity helps us to further our impact and support community needs.

OUR MISSION

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an Island of competent, capable and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you to our donors and sponsors for your continued support!

Thanks to Partners who help us with our professional development and service provision by mediators, coaches and facilitators.