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Mediation Musings by Sara Barnes

It was a meeting of the second-, third- and fourth-grade teachers. The principal made his points, ending with something like “Don’t change horses midstream." I raised my hand, saying something in disagreement. Then came the angry voice of Lisa: “It’s not your place to say what you think! Stop making trouble!”

"Not your place"

For 40 years I’ve pondered these words. It’s a helpful construction today as I take a look at the topic of free speech and its relationship with conflict resolution services. The conflict over "Here’s what I think" and "Not your place" is a familiar battle.

John Lewis’s heroic invitation to "make good trouble" aside, most humans are looking to keep their lives well ordered and somewhat predictable, with unwelcome change being a pest to swat away. Changes in core structures, identities, world views and values are particularly difficult.

Self-censoring

What did happen, after that teacher meeting, was an internal battle inside me as long as I worked in that school. Many of us, in various settings, self-censor. Often the self-silencing occurs in small nonpolitical corners like our teacher staff room from the distant past. Many learn, quite young, to stay quiet, and over time this habit becomes the norm.

What I wonder is: What might we be losing by missing these voices? How do we accomplish effective conflict resolution when working with those who have been silenced? How do we, as conflict resolvers, create the setting, when working with those who have not experienced speech as free, to facilitate and provide a forum for them to advocate on their own behalf and work toward equitable outcomes?

Free speech and conflict resolution

When I meet with conflict resolution service providers, I often say we are a small but mighty cadre. We invite people to speak their minds, to put forward their ideas and to listen to each other in a facilitated setting designed for dispute resolution.

It would be helpful, too, if we were working with more individuals who have been encouraged and taught to practice free speech—both receiving messages that may be uncomfortable and sharing opinions. We would find our work a bit easier if, from childhood, everyone at all levels and circumstances received messages such as:

Your voice is important.

Your ideas are welcome.

Say what you think.

It is your place to speak up when you have something to say.

Read a longer piece describing more about the teacher meeting and delving into intersections between free speech and mediation. Link here.

Have a complaint to file against a business or merchant?

• File online: file a complaint via the Massachusetts Attorney General's website
• File by Mail: print out the form and mail to: Office of the Attorney General, Consumer Advocacy & Response Division, One Ashburton Place, 18th Floor, Boston, MA 02108

BOARD OF DIRECTORS CORNER

At our September board meeting, the focus was on financial oversight and planning. Board members reviewed the organization’s budget, discussed upcoming expenses, and explored strategies to strengthen our financial sustainability. With a commitment to our organization’s thoughtful stewardship of resources, these conversations ensure we can continue to provide accessible, high-quality mediation services to our community.

As the season shifts, why not turn over a new leaf and build skills that last well beyond autumn?

Our courses are participatory and interactive.

Time flies when you are learning!

Click here for alist of additional trainings and professional development opportunities.

Visit MV Mediation Workshops & Events to view our full calendar

Financial Conflict Resolution is a need for many. We want to highlight the free monthly financial planning workshops Wednesdays at 6 pm in person on MV through Stillpoint.

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

A weekly drop-in for those in the conflict resolution field including local, national and international mediators, facilitators and coaches. New topics weekly. Donations appreciated. Wednesdays at 4pm––all welcome to join. 

• October 15 – Mediation Basics Tips: Being Stuck: Getting Unstuck
• October 22 – Mediation Basics Tips: Handling Negativity
• October 29 – Mediation Basics Tips: Empowering participants, SCARF
• November 5 – Mediation Role Play: How to interrupt, respectfully
• November 12 – Mediation Role Play: When people cry, what to do?
• November 19 – Mediation Role Play: Finishing mediation, the send off
• No mediator check-in on November 26

Look out for our December and January series on facilitation protocols for conflict resolution, sharing ideas, solving dilemmas and team-building.

Email education@mvmediation.org for the Zoom link.

Do you have a topic or series suggestion for Mediator Check-in?

Send us your ideas here: https://forms.gle/J7mFfw99awtKKsS

October is a perfect time to pause, reflect and consider how we support and connect with one another. From observing Indigenous Peoples’ Day to celebrating National Disability Employment Awareness Month, each occasion encourages us to listen, understand, and strengthen our community bonds.



Indigenous Peoples’ Day (October 13)

This day honors the history, culture and resilience of Indigenous communities, including the Wôpanâak people of Noëpe (Martha’s Vineyard). It’s a reminder to recognize the perspectives, contributions, and ongoing presence of Indigenous peoples and to foster respect and understanding in our daily interactions.

National Disability Employment Awareness Month

This month highlights the value of inclusion and accessibility in the workplace. Mediation and open dialogue can help create equitable opportunities for employees of all abilities, ensuring workplaces where everyone can contribute, thrive and feel respected.

Halloween (October 31)

Beyond costumes and candy, Halloween offers a chance to celebrate community connection, creativity and fun. It reminds us of the joy in coming together safely, respecting one another and fostering a sense of belonging for all ages.

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE FAMÍLIA E DIVÓRCIO

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação.

info@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Tenant or Landlord Conflict?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

admin@mvmediation.org or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals, pre-release, and recently released individuals, post-release. For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMC offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. Our Juvenile court mediators help with cases referred from the Juvenile Court.

MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering.

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.” ––A recent facilitation client

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. Don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in your daily life. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thank you for being part of our important conflict resolution work for 40 years. Your generosity helps us to further our impact and support community needs.

OUR MISSION

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an Island of competent, capable and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you for our donors and sponsors

for your continued support!

Thanks to Partners who help us with our professional development and service provision by mediators, coaches and facilitators.