A Little Bit of Kindness Can Go a Long Way
by Curt Hubatch
We're running a new CRUS column by CR activist and organizer Curt Hubatch.
Curt is an unschooling father of two young children and one young adult. Currently he works as a substitute rural letter carrier for the USPS. He lives in a cordwood house that he built with his wife, family, and friends in Northwestern Wisconsin.
I'm frustrated. Mad. Ready to withdraw. Shrink within myself.
"He vomited on me", I tell her.
"He didn't vomit on you", she says.
"Well, if he didn't, what did he do then?"
"He didn't actually vomit on you, did he?"
"No", I admit reluctantly "What conclusion are you holding about him?"
"He was being a fucking jerk, that's the conclusion I'm holding!" I notice my blood is starting to boil again.
"Do you see the relationship between you using the word vomit, which he actually didn't do on you, and the conclusion that you're holding?", she calmly asks.
"Yes", I answer. Long pause, "I do."
This is the short version of a conversation between a friend and me. It happened after someone on Facebook said negative things about me as well as Paul Cienfuegos, the Community Rights teacher the Washburn County Community Rights Alliance (WCCRA) invited to give a workshop at the Chicog Town Hall on the first of June. I'd just spent most of the day coordinating with others on how we would get the word out about the event in public spaces and the internet. It's a lot of work. Work that I do not get paid for. I'm hoping the payment will be a future for my children and humanity on this beautiful planet we live in. Yes in, not on. From where I'm looking, we're not on it, we're in the soul of it.
It helps to have friends who will not join in a drama with me. A guy can get down in the weeds pretty fast without having a friend to turn to for some support when I'm ready to react rather than respond intentionally and in line with my values.