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Listening is one of the essential tools in coaching. Listening is what provides the coach with the authentic, individual "data set" for a student. What is heard can prompt questions in the coach's mind that are targeted to that student's unique circumstances.
Effective listening in the coaching context, though, goes beyond the listening itself. In any communication loop, the message that one person intends to send doesn't always match what is received by the other person. A coachee may not always feel heard even when a coach is intently listening.
What a coach must do is make listening visible. With intentional actions, coaches can display listening to the coachee. If listening is discernible to the coachee, the coach's intended message "I'm here, I care, I respect you" has a greater chance of being received accurately.
How do you make your listening apparent to your coachee?
- Use body language and eye contact to emphasize attentive listening.
- Use clarifying restatements: "I heard you saying..." "You mentioned..."
- Paraphrase or summarize what you've heard: "Let me restate this so I am sure I'm hearing you correctly..."
- Write down notes about a phrase or idea you hear that you want to get back to in the conversation but couldn't do so in the moment without interrupting – and ask the question later when an appropriate moment arises.
- Comment upon patterns you perceive and base questions on them – "Whenever you talk about that class, you mention how distracted you are. What do you think is causing this?"
Build your listening skills, and listen to and learn from other coaches, in a LifeBound training.
As you consider the rest of your summer and the ways in which you want to sharpen your skills this year, consider making your August professional development one that prioritizes coaching skills.
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