Los Angeles, Calif., (November 11,
2010) - After
reading the recent CNN report about Phillip Greaves' e-book being
boycotted by thousands of Amazon.com users, Dr. Howard Fradkin, founding board member of MaleSurvivor,
wants people to understand the reality of children who have been sexually
victimized by pedophiles. Researchers have found that one
in six boys are sexually abused by the age of eighteen, with an
average age of ten for the first incident. Most boyhood sexual
abuse occurs between the ages of two and fifteen at the hands of
adults commonly referred to as pedophiles.
"While I have not read the book, I have read Phillip
Greaves' comments from his interview with CNN. Here is what I
would like people to understand:
"True love does not include hurting children, and any
time a child is violated sexually, either through
penetration, sexual kissing or fondling, it hurts the
child. Children do not have the capacity to give informed consent;
even if a child perceives some pleasure in the attention received
from a pedophile, in my experience it is always harmful to the
child, not just in the moment, but for a very long time.
"From my perspective, loving a child commits an adult
to protect the child from the demands of adult sexual needs and
desires. Pedophiles are unable to see their behavior as harmful to
a child which is why they describe it as being a loving way to
introduce sexuality to a child.
"It may only be much later in adulthood that children
experience the ill effects of the abuse, which often includes
problems with emotional and sexual intimacy stemming from an
inability to trust, substance abuse, sexual addiction, confusion in
sexual orientation, depression, and suicide.
"The imposition of adult sexuality and emotional needs
on a child is a developmental catastrophe, even when it is done
with the 'best of intentions', the sort of good intentions I
suspect Philip Greaves may argue for in his book.
"Most survivors of childhood sexual abuse
do not become pedophiles,
although it is believed most pedophiles were themselves victims of
sexual abuse in childhood. Pedophiles often lack true empathy for
the negative effects of their own childhood experiences of abuse
and similarly lack true empathy for the negative effects of their
sexual behavior with children.
"I would
hope that instead of a book being written to help pedophiles engage
in their behavior with less shame and guilt, a book should be
written to help pedophiles identify the ways in which they mistake
their own adult sexual desires toward children as an act of love,
rather than as an act of self-gratification."